YOU CAN'T FIX CRAZY!
So, she was a WHACK-JOB and all his effort was for NOTHING because there was nothing he could do with someone that was never going to be able to give him a normal relationship.
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103: His girlfriend broke a date to go out with a friend? A male one???
104: He's thinking of marriage after only 5 months? What?!
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Trying to figure out what went wrong here.
I haven’t read “The System” (yet!), but I think I did most of what you recommend in your columns. I’m 49 and met a gorgeous 40-year-old Russian, Gal, a year ago. We hit it off from the first date. There was physical and personality chemistry. I played it cool, mainly because I had a few other babes also of interest to me. I only saw her once a week, and never chatted or texted in between. I have three little kids, so they take up half my time anyway.
Six weeks into it, Gal had a crisis about us: that maybe we don’t have an emotional connection. She ran off and went silent for a couple weeks. I texted her that she left her watch at my house, so we agreed that I’d come over and drop it off. We went on a long walk where she went on about how she gets scared and this and that. Okay, I said, don’t worry so much, and we resumed dating for another six weeks. Then she told me that she is struggling with what to do with her life and thinks she wants to have another kid (she has a grown son), to which I said I’m not having any more kids. She ran off again and I said to myself, okay, who’s next?
I didn’t hear from Gal again for eight months. Then we got matched up on a dating app by coincidence, struck up a conversation, and met again. I tried to play it cool, but for some reason now I’m WAY more into her than I was last year. She didn’t seem as crazy as she did the first time around. We start dating once a week again. After five weeks, she flaked on me AGAIN via text after we had planned a date, and implied by her text that she was going back to an ex. I tried to act indifferent even though this time I’m feeling crushed inside.
She texted me a week later to get together to talk because she felt like a coward for not telling me in person and breaking our plans at the last minute. When we met, she could hardly get any words out. She muttered something to the effect of feeling like she was getting emotionally attached to me and it was freaking her out.
From that I gathered that she is having some sort of midlife crisis, and maybe it’s good riddance. Then I walked away. But I’ve been lamenting the breakup since then -- not that I had any control over it. But the sex was great, the rapport was witty, and we had fun dates. It seemed like her Interest Level was high whenever I’d ask her out. Now I’m going through withdrawal: no sleep, no appetite, feeling rejected. I know it will pass, but it’s made me wonder, even if you do all the “right things” in dating, what are the reasons that she’ll STILL lose interest in you?
Herbie - who thought he had it all figured out
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DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
You might have done everything I recommend in my columns, but without “The System,” YOU DIDN’T DO IT ALL. You need to OWN and MEMORIZE my book in order to avoid errors in dating and maximize its power. Now you’re calling me with a problem. You say you don’t have my book yet. What do you mean, yet? It takes all of 45 seconds to order it and you can have it immediately if you order a download of the electronic version of the book or the audio! What are you waiting for, guy, more trouble and anguish?
Now let me get this straight. You have three kids by another woman and now you think you’re going to date Gal and not make the same mistakes you made with the mother of your children? But when you mention “The System,” all you talk about is yet!
When Gal disappeared on you, it meant she dumped you. It meant you were OUT. What she should have told you when you resumed dating was, “Herbie, you’re going out with a nut-case!”
These articles give you a lot - but not enough - you need THE SYSTEM if you really want to be successful with women. Not sure? Read our "you changed my life letters."
You might be more into Gal now than you were before, but if you’d had my book from the beginning, you would have realized that the only thing that counts is having a clinically sane woman. And dude, you don’t have one here. This babe is loaded with...
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Doc, ive known caprice for awhile we grew up in same church. She recently broke up with her boyfriend. Im going to ask for her number tmrw when i see her in church. I was thinking of taking her out to this sushi restaurant thats like 10 mins from her house. Shes been there before the food is really good etc.. Is that okay for a first date or should i do like a couple games of bowling and then take her to sushi or just sushi? The driving distance between bowling and sushi is like 15 mins i live in long island ny
Thanks for reading and writing.
Time in the car is the enemy early on – try to minimize that. Do one thing each date for the first 3 or 4 dates so sushi would be fine for the first date. You can expand to multiple locations as you get to know her better.
By the way – if you don’t have https://www.doclove.com/system you should get it before trying with this girl – it will increase your chances.
Doc, just wanted to clarify. After she asks to be the girlfriend i have to see her twice a week and wait 3 days to call her not 5 to 9? I heard on your radio show that the rule was changed. Love your book! Thanks
Thanks for reading and writing and for the compliment – there is no hard and fast rule when she’s your girlfriend when it comes to calling. Remember when you follow https://www.doclove.com/system that for her to become your girlfriend she has to make it past 10-12 dates with no red flags so you don’t have to have a set # of days between calling. The idea is not to see her 24/7 because she’ll get sick of you but as long as you’re seeing her 2-3 times a week max and you aren’t texting and communicating all the time you should be okay. Remember you can never stop being a CHALLENGE but waiting 3 days to call your girlfriend will aggravate her and drop INTEREST LEVEL so run things looser and relax and enjoy her company!
Doc, caprice gave me her number 2 years ago but i never asked her out when she was single, i was stupid and i regret not. She just broke up with her long distance boyfriend and has been giving me buying signals again. i was wanting to ask her out. Can i ask for her cell phone number even though she knows i already have it. I was going to ask for her home number as well. Thanks for your help
Jim, thanks for reading and writing.
Since you already have the number ask her for a date when you see her. This is not ideal as it’s a clean up case because as you said it was stupid not to close 2 years ago when you had the chance but once you get her out on the date then start being strict with the https://www.doclove.com/system from that point forward
We had been dating for a year with no red flags before she left for the University. We hardly see except on semester endings when she comes to my house and stays for a week or two before going back. While away she wants us to be texting almost every time. When I don’t reply she complains. How do I keep the texting in check
This is something you should call the show with: http://www.datingwomenradioshow.com because I need more to your story. If you aren’t comfortable being public then order phone coaching at https://www.doclove.com/phone_coaching
Sometimes the answer is a lot more complex depending on your individual situation so I need to talk to you.