THE WORD "SPACE" HAS DOOMED RELATIONSHIPS SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME
THE SYSTEM says that when you hear the word "space" as it relates to your relationship then forget it - she is DONE WITH YOU.
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Do not assume she is the one too early
HAVE YOU PLUGGED INTO YOUR FREEBIES YET?
I am writing in desperation. I bought your book quite a while back and with success landed the woman of my dreams. I met Antonia and at first I wasn’t that into her, but there were a few things that I loved. We went out for two and a half years, and she expressed many times that she wanted to marry me. I never had to chase her, and I kept blowing off the idea of marriage. I loved her but wasn’t in love with her. But I knew she would make a great wife.
Well, Antonia unexpectedly dumped me recently. For the first week after it happened, I was okay. But when I saw her on Match.com I lost it. It dawned on me then that it was real. I flipped out and called her at 2:30 a.m. She said that she went on there to prove to herself that she wasn’t ready for dating. (Yes.) And that she got an e-mail from someone and it made her sick to her stomach and she almost threw up, etc. I believe that she was speaking with true conviction.
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Antonia asked me not to call her because she needed time. So the next day I called again, and she got irritated because she said she needed space. I e-mailed her then and she wrote back and said not to e-mail her anymore. Her exact words were, “What I need is TIME. How much time, I don’t know.”
This led me to believe there is hope for us getting back together. I wrote back again and told her how much I loved her and wanted to marry her.
A week went by and I noticed that she was still on Match.com but her picture had been changed. The new one made her look sexier. I lost it again and called her. She said she tried to take the picture off but couldn’t.
Doc, I know it’s a lie now. She said she is so angry with me that she can’t stand to be in the same room with me. She also said that when she got the e-mail message from me where I said I wanted to marry her that she cried all day.
Doc, I want to bring a ring over to Antonia’s house, get down on one knee and propose to her. I love her to death and want to marry her.
I feel that Antonia has someone in her ear telling her to forget me. I can’t eat or sleep and have lost 10 pounds. I don’t know what to do and realize I ruined the best thing in the world. I need to prove to Antonia that I am changed but she won’t speak to me. But I think she still loves me.
I know this isn’t much to go on, but any advice would be appreciated. After two and a half years I am not sure if the principles of “The System” apply here.
Marty - who hopes he can turn it around
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
What do you mean you weren’t “that into” Antonia? Why was that? You’ve got problems right out of the gate here. You’re talking about marriage to the girl of your dreams, and you weren’t that interested in her? It’s a contradiction in terms. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “You’re worse than those babes when they talk Womanese!”
If you weren’t in love with Antonia, why the heck were you wasting your time? It’s not that your Interest Level was low, man -- you actually didn’t have an Interest Level. Antonia wouldn’t make you a great wife. Because after a while she’d come to realize that the man she married wasn’t in love with her. But don’t worry about her. I’m sure she’ll make a great wife – for somebody else.
To you Psych majors, when you get dumped it’s ALWAYS unexpected. The guy never sees it coming. He doesn’t have a clue.
Well, then you went and “flipped out” and called the poor girl at 2:30 in the morning. Why didn’t you make it 4 a.m. and get her really riled up so she never spoke to you again? I see that you’re really practicing my premier virtues of Self-Control and Discipline here, guy.
Hmm, Antonia went on Match.com to prove she wasn’t ready for dating…and you bought it. Now just listen to that impeccable line of logic she served up: the reason a person joins an online dating service is to prove she’s not ready for dating. Huh? Did I miss something here? The statement makes no sense whatsoever and contradicts itself. And you were so gullible, Marty, so desperate for love, that you bought it.
But, she goes on to explain; the experience was so nauseating it made her want to barf. Okay, so there are jerks on the Internet. And there are psycho women on the internet, too. This is what I call a “camouflage” tactic. Antonia’s talking about nothing that...
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