YOU CAN'T FIX CRAZY!
So, she was a WHACK-JOB and all his effort was for NOTHING because there was nothing he could do with someone that was never going to be able to give him a normal relationship.
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Dating Women Podcast #103 & #104
103: His girlfriend broke a date to go out with a friend? A male one???
104: He's thinking of marriage after only 5 months? What?!
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Trying to figure out what went wrong here.
I haven’t read “The System” (yet!), but I think I did most of what you recommend in your columns. I’m 49 and met a gorgeous 40-year-old Russian, Gal, a year ago. We hit it off from the first date. There was physical and personality chemistry. I played it cool, mainly because I had a few other babes also of interest to me. I only saw her once a week, and never chatted or texted in between. I have three little kids, so they take up half my time anyway.
Six weeks into it, Gal had a crisis about us: that maybe we don’t have an emotional connection. She ran off and went silent for a couple weeks. I texted her that she left her watch at my house, so we agreed that I’d come over and drop it off. We went on a long walk where she went on about how she gets scared and this and that. Okay, I said, don’t worry so much, and we resumed dating for another six weeks. Then she told me that she is struggling with what to do with her life and thinks she wants to have another kid (she has a grown son), to which I said I’m not having any more kids. She ran off again and I said to myself, okay, who’s next?
I didn’t hear from Gal again for eight months. Then we got matched up on a dating app by coincidence, struck up a conversation, and met again. I tried to play it cool, but for some reason now I’m WAY more into her than I was last year. She didn’t seem as crazy as she did the first time around. We start dating once a week again. After five weeks, she flaked on me AGAIN via text after we had planned a date, and implied by her text that she was going back to an ex. I tried to act indifferent even though this time I’m feeling crushed inside.
She texted me a week later to get together to talk because she felt like a coward for not telling me in person and breaking our plans at the last minute. When we met, she could hardly get any words out. She muttered something to the effect of feeling like she was getting emotionally attached to me and it was freaking her out.
From that I gathered that she is having some sort of midlife crisis, and maybe it’s good riddance. Then I walked away. But I’ve been lamenting the breakup since then -- not that I had any control over it. But the sex was great, the rapport was witty, and we had fun dates. It seemed like her Interest Level was high whenever I’d ask her out. Now I’m going through withdrawal: no sleep, no appetite, feeling rejected. I know it will pass, but it’s made me wonder, even if you do all the “right things” in dating, what are the reasons that she’ll STILL lose interest in you?
Herbie - who thought he had it all figured out
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
You might have done everything I recommend in my columns, but without “The System,” YOU DIDN’T DO IT ALL. You need to OWN and MEMORIZE my book in order to avoid errors in dating and maximize its power. Now you’re calling me with a problem. You say you don’t have my book yet. What do you mean, yet? It takes all of 45 seconds to order it and you can have it immediately if you order a download of the electronic version of the book or the audio! What are you waiting for, guy, more trouble and anguish?
Now let me get this straight. You have three kids by another woman and now you think you’re going to date Gal and not make the same mistakes you made with the mother of your children? But when you mention “The System,” all you talk about is yet!
When Gal disappeared on you, it meant she dumped you. It meant you were OUT. What she should have told you when you resumed dating was, “Herbie, you’re going out with a nut-case!”
These articles give you a lot - but not enough - you need THE SYSTEM if you really want to be successful with women. Not sure? Read our "you changed my life letters."
You might be more into Gal now than you were before, but if you’d had my book from the beginning, you would have realized that the only thing that counts is having a clinically sane woman. And dude, you don’t have one here. This babe is loaded with scars and baggage. Finally, you still haven’t gotten “The System,” so there’s no hope that you’ll know what to do when you see RED FLAGS. I don’t understand how you can read all of my columns, agree with everything I say, but when it comes to getting my book, all you have to say is yet.
Dude, I have news for you – all women who break dates break them at the last minute. On the other hand, men don’t break dates – but that’s never brought up in Cosmopolitan or Glamour magazine.
You say the sex was great and you had rapport and fun on your dates with Gal, but look at all of the hell you endured between the dates. Look at all of the inconsistent behavior she displayed. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “This woman is an erratic yo-yo!” If her Interest Level was so high, she wouldn’t be breaking dates with you, Herbie. And she would have been consistent in her behavior. See, this is why you’re in such dire need of my book. You understand some of my principles, but not all of them, and that’s what gets you into trouble. Again, the longer you wait, the more pain you are going to suffer. But it’s your choice, my friend.
You DIDN’T do all of the right things, Herbie – because you don’t have “The System.” You didn’t have it when you were with Gal, and you didn’t have it with your wife, and now you’re a father of three with no mother in the house (and if your ex-wife has custody, then they have no father in the house or are being raised by another man).
Your problem with Gal wasn’t Interest Level fluctuation. It was that she’s a whack-job. When you go out with someone who’s crazy, you have to stay away from her because she’s dangerous. You’ll fall in love with her and she’ll start acting nuts. Then you’ll waste time trying to figure out her Interest Level, when she’s really just a loon and all she’s going to do is drag you down and hurt your feelings. Is all of this emotional turmoil worth not having my book?
Remember, guys - once you realize she’s nuts, stay away from her.