Friends With Ex? NO! | Doc Love - Dating Advice For Men

Dating Women Advice: Ex Wants To Be Friends? 3 Reasons It’s A Bad Idea


I want to tell you that in all my articles, my dating and relationship education course called THE SYSTEM and my radio show, my mantra is for you to be cool so keep in mind when you read the advice below that all of this is INTERNAL. If your ex wants to be friends then you smile and tell her it’s fine and show her NOTHING as far as your emotions go – because making a point to tell her that you don’t want to be friends is proving that you’re pouting and you don’t want that.

However, here are 3 reasons why it’s a bad idea and you won’t follow through on your friendship – in fact, you’ll pull a disappearing act on her. She won’t realize it but the last time she’ll physically see or talk to you is after you tell her it’s okay to be good buds (just tactfully avoid her calls/emails/texts and always be busy until she gets the message).


Once It’s Over, It’s Over

​Either she lowered your feelings for her (Interest Level) or you did it to her (90% of the time it’s the guy changing from the person she started dating and she gets turned off) and there’s no going back from that. Someone dropped someone here – which means SOMEONE IS INTERESTED IN BEING MORE THAN FRIENDS no matter how they pretend that being pals is a-okay.

I don’t know about you but I don’t need underlying tensions in my friendships and that’s exactly what you’ll get – you’ll either have to fend her off if you dropped her or you can be frustrated that she won’t be your girlfriend if she dropped you and is now your buddy.

Either way, it doesn’t sound like a fun way to spend a weekend night (or any night) to me!

Call my dating women radio show if you want advice from me on this – I take your calls every week (get the #'s and details by clicking this link).

(By the way, if you can't wait to talk to me on my radio show or you don't want to go public then order my phone coaching here).


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What Do You Get Out Of It?

So, we discussed the tension above – what do you really get out of this? Do you think you two are getting back together (never happen – at least in the way you want it to)? Do you think it’s going to be fun and that you can just show up and pretend that neither one of you spent time in a relationship? How about those old arguments – think they might surface from time to time?

Here’s the deal – SOMETHING NEGATIVE happened to break you two up. It might have been a spectacular blow up or an erosion of feelings over time – but the bottom line is a conscious decision was made to END A RELATIONSHIP – that’s not exactly a great basis to start a friendship on.

Yes, yes, I know that maybe in rare instances you both fell out of love at the same time and a friendship is possible – that’s great – but in my experience as a guy that plays the odds, in the VAST MAJORITY of cases someone dropped the other and someone is smarting from the pain they feel over getting dumped.

There is no upside to this.


THOUSANDS OF GUYS write me "you changed my life letters" (sample here) for one reason - THE SYSTEM is THE DEFINITIVE book on dating and relationships from a MAN'S point of view.

I've interviewed THOUSANDS of woman asking them why they CHOOSE to stay with one man versus another.

What I've LEARNED from women - I TEACH to men.

Get THE SYSTEM today - available via book form, electronic (immediate) download, and audio (also an immediate download)


It’s Preventing Ms. Right From Showing Up

You’re doing one of two things by hanging with your ex – you’re either giving her false hope if you dropped her and it would be impossible to hit on other women when out with her (unless you’re really a jerk) OR you have false hope yourself and are hanging out with her saying “friendship is cool” verbally while not believing a word of it in your head – because in the back of your mind you’ll think that staying her friend is a path back to romance – it’s not.


I know you’ve heard the stories of couples that got back together but I’m here to tell you that it’s not possible to have the same relationship you did before. THERE WAS A REASON you broke up in the first place and I teach my students that going long-term with a woman has to be smooth sailing all the way through with no Red Flags or breakups or you might have things built on a bad foundation.

All you’re doing by staying friends with your ex is preventing yourself from meeting a woman that you really might have a chance with.

These articles give you a lot - but not enough - you need THE SYSTEM if you really want to be successful with women. Not sure? Read our "you changed my life letters."

Hi Garry,


As soon as you began having trouble with your wife, you didn’t have “The System” overnighted to you (or buy my immediate downloads - ELECTRONIC SYSTEM or SYSTEM AUDIO). Why not? Do you realize the terrible anguish you could have saved yourself? All that time Donatella’s interest was going from 82%, etc. And as most American men do, you noticed it finally when it hit 60% or 57% or somewhere in that area. “The System” says that this woman probably once loved you. You’ve been with her for 15 years, and she probably loved you for eight to 10 years of that time. After that, because you took her for granted, her Interest Level began to drop.


And let me explain something to you. Interest Level doesn’t drop from 100% to 49% in an hour, or overnight, even though that’s the man’s perception of what’s going on. No, like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “It takes time and negligence to erode.” That’s why if you’d have memorized my materials, when it went from 91% to 89% you would have known to start getting into my MAINTENANCE PROGRAM, which will secure the woman wanting to stay with you forever. But like most men in America, you knew how to get her, but you didn’t know how to keep her. That’s why a majority of women recently reported in a national survey that they wouldn’t marry the same guy again. But since you didn’t have my book, what’s happened to you now is predictable.


You might have thought this situation was going to improve on its own, Garry, but when Interest Level goes 60%...58%..56%...54%, it’s like an airplane going down. It won’t pull up by itself. Like my cousin General Love says, “It just crashes and burns.” And that’s what happened with your wife. You murdered her Interest Level through your deportment.


So when your relationship with Donatella took another dive, why didn’t you Google a love doctor for some advice? The question to ask was, why is this woman so turned off when for eight or 10 years she idolized me? Dude, a good salary and taking care of your family financially doesn’t equate to romance to a female.


Your wife had been showing you for a long time that you were miles apart. Did she really have to verbalize it and tell you she no longer loved you? You’ve been with her for a long time, and when she finally said it after a deterioration of five or six years, it was only then that you sat up and took notice? Are you blind? And to you Psych majors, when she tells you that she no longer loves you, you are OUT.


Now let me explain something else to you. When Interest Level consistently drops, it’s NEVER temporary. It’s only temporary until she leaves. Then it’s final,


Now you’re in a fatal depression, pal. If you’d been studying my book all along, it would have made the pain more bearable. So the first thing you have to do now is have “The System” OVERNIGHTED to you and MEMORIZE it (or get an immediate download - SYSTEM AUDIO or ELECTRONIC SYSTEM). Because when it comes to women, you are absolutely clueless, even after you’ve lived with this woman for so long. Garry, I know more about your wife than you do and I’ve never even met the woman. And that’s very sad.


Then, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “You have to suck it up.” When Donatella calls, be polite, don’t talk about your relationship, ask her how much money she needs, send her a check and ask her if there’s anything more you can do for her. Maybe, with time, she’ll meet you for coffee, then maybe a dinner date, then maybe you’ll move into getting her back into the house. Try to talk to your kids as much as possible. You’ll have to apologize for blowing up and making a fool of yourself because when you did that, it only reinforced your wife’s low Interest Level. Because what she said to herself was that she didn’t realize that her husband was so lacking in Self-Control!


But no matter what, you still need my book. You need to find out where you went wrong with your wife. Like I said earlier, you’re clueless.


Whether or not Donatella has found someone else is beyond your control. So don’t make the problem even worse than it is. Get “The System,” study it like heck, and we’ll do our best to get her back.


Donatella didn’t throw away anything over nothing. You stopped romancing your wife and took her for granted. You never told her she was Beautiful. You didn’t treat her like a woman. If you did, she would still be all over you.


Remember, guys: to keep your wife in love with you, you have to date her.

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  • David. says:

    I 100% agree with this marvelous article Doc Love, please add it to a revised version of the System. I’ve experienced the above mentioned problems and it’s not fun or happy.

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