WHY CAN'T I FIND A GIRLFRIEND?
If you ever asked yourself the question “why can’t I find a girlfriend” then you are asking something many guys have grappled with but the key is to not let it paralyze you. If you let it your brain will come up with all sorts of negative reasons why. If you ask that question and then start to answer “Because I’m too <fat, skinny, tall, short, smart, dumb, etc., etc.>” then you’ve already set yourself up for failure.
The better thing to do is start with YOU – finding a girlfriend doesn’t begin with her – it is all about what you bring to the table. I teach guys that they have to be the type of guy she wants to be with – in other words you attract what you become.
Keeping that in mind, here are 3 possible reasons why you’re struggling to find a girlfriend.
You Don’t Pay Enough Attention To The Image You Present
If you want a classy lady you can go long-term with you have to be a classy guy. Yes, yes, I know you’ve seen beautiful women with what you consider to be dirtbags but take that out of your skull – you have no idea what goes on behind closed doors in their relationship and just because she’s beautiful and articulate doesn’t mean she isn’t a dirtbag either. I teach guys to look for FLEXIBLE GIVERS THAT ARE KIND AND GENTLE (you can get more in my relationship advice column weekly found on my blog).
If you want to attract a lady like that pay attention to your teeth (FIX THEM if they’re bad), your clothes, and the way you groom yourself (growing a forest out of your nose? get out the chainsaw – err, nose clippers).
Beyond your physical appearance do you pay attention to the way you speak to women?
Do you have a light and funny demeanor or are you Mr. Serious or even Mr. Angry? Remember that she’ll be attracted to the way you look (so look the best you can) but also if you’re what SHE considers a DIRTBAG then you have no shot.
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You’re Too Needy (Or Too Macho)
FLEXIBLE GIVERS don’t want a guy up in their grills (texting her 3 minutes after you get her number, sending flowers the next day, calling all the time) nor do they want a caveman that thinks he owns her. Women want a GENTLEMAN – the perfect mix of Mr. Sensitive and Mr. Cro-Magnon. You also have to learn how to be a CHALLENGE because women, whether they like to admit it or not, love the chase.
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What I've LEARNED from women - I TEACH to men.
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You Start Out Strong And Finish Weak
Everything was going GREAT for the first few months or so and then bam – once again you’re out in the cold. Why? In many cases it’s because the guy thinks he can relax once he’s got her. First of all UNTIL SHE’S YOUR GIRLFRIEND COUNT ON NOTHING WHEN IT COMES TO HER. I don’t care if you’ve had 8 dates with her and you think she’s the greatest thing going since the networks decided to show football nearly all week long – she is a STRANGER until you really vet her out.
I see so many guys OVERRATE her feelings towards them just because they’re attracted to her and she *seems* like a good girl. I teach guys to go SLOWLY and really make sure she has long-term potential.
Assuming that you found a long-term potential candidate – and I assure you that if you’re reading my materials for the first time your definition of what constitutes long-term potential is much different from mine (due to all the brainwashing in your head from the major media and Hollywood) – don’t veer from what got her.
So many guys start out one way with the girl and think they can “relax and be themselves” once she’s showing signs of being into you (or if she’s your girlfriend).
NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH!!!
Remember this – ROMANTIC LOVE IS CONDITIONAL – if you want her long-term you must start out strong and stay strong – for, say, about 40 years (or however long you’re together).
It’s definitely me. 40 years young guy and my interest in dating is practically gone. Maybe I just threw in the towel so it’s not good. Plus I don’t like my job and struggling in school (resp. school) so that doesn’t help my cause. Poor self image and all that crap. If I meet Ms. Right tomorrow trust me I won’t close her and I would just let her pass me by as always. Not good right? yep. Anyway I also want to vent.
I hear you man – it can be frustrating but remember all you need is ONE GOOD ONE but you’ll never find her if you give up. If you want, call the radio show sometime at http://www.datingwomenradioshow.com and I can coach you.
Great post man – I have a really good friend who is a great guy, good looking, kind, funny. But he can’t find a girl and it frustrates the hell out of me and my other buddies. But despite what he is like with all of us and when he’s relaxed he just does himself damage when it comes to dating I reckon. He is really shy which doesn’t help. And I just don’t think he portrays himself very well – it’s so frustrating!
Thanks Zack – the only thing you can do is point him at my website and then hope he helps himself by buying https://www.doclove.com/system