WAS IT THE AGE DIFFERENCE THAT WAS THE DIFFERENCE? UH, NOPE - HE MESSED THIS UP!
THE SYSTEM says that your ego always tries to protect you - in this case he tried to claim to himself that the age difference between him and the lady he was dating was the issue - it wasn't - he messed this up all on his own.
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I read your articles off and on, and when I do, I always see how right you are about men and women. I’ve even bought your book and read it a couple of times, but can’t quite memorize everything yet.
I’m 25 and have had two serous relationships so far, both of which ended badly. Recently I met Hillary outdoors at a restaurant when she was with a group of friends. She’s 34, by the way, mature, career-minded and attractive. To make a long story short, we hit it off and Hillary was all over me. She invited me over to her beach house and we spent the next three days having what I would call a romantic time (we were in separate bedrooms, of course!). I happened to have some vacation days from my job at the time, by the way, so I was able to hang out with Hillary all that time.
After this wonderful interlude Hillary announced that she had to go to work (she works a lot). We were supposed to have dinner the next night, and suddenly she called, told me that she got stuck at work and that our date was off. I played it cool, and went out with some other friends.
She was supposed to call me to make up our missed date but she didn’t. Later that week I called her, but she seemed distant towards me. Doc, it seems like Hillary is losing interest in me all of a sudden, and I don’t know what I did wrong. She was up for a good time and so was I. What the heck happened? (I did not detect the presence of a boyfriend, by the way.)
Doc, was this just a three-day fling for Hillary? I know that she thinks that a sense of humor is important in a man she’s with, and that sometimes I wasn’t quite in the mood to be funny, but it doesn’t seem that something so trivial could be enough to wreck what started out as so promising.
The other thought that occurred to me was that since she’s so much older than me, that she might want someone who is more mature. What’s your take? Do older women really prefer younger guys or is that a myth propagated by the women’s magazines? Granted, I’m not as far along in my career as she is, but at 25 how could I be?
Lavar - who thought he had it made
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I’m sure you read my articles “off and on,” and when you’re with a woman, you’ll only be successful “off and on” because that’s the way you treat this entire process – off and on. What’s holding you back from memorizing everything in my book? By the way, when you tell me that your two earlier relationships ended badly, like my cousin Doctor Love says, “What you really mean is that they dropped you.”
When Hillary invited you over to her beach house, you should have said you were busy. You should have said you had somewhere else you had to be. Dude, you’re supposed to see a girl for three or four hours and call her week later. So what did you do? You ran three whole days together in one shot! In other words, you took three or four months of dating and crammed them into three days with a complete stranger. Does this sound like a recipe for romantic success? Like the old cowboy saying goes, “That stuff only works in Hollywood movies.”
Then you went and made a date on a date. What’s wrong with you, Lavar? Are you sure you read any of my articles? You should have let a week go by and at least let Hillary wonder and fantasize about that great, fun time you and she had for three days on the beach. But like most men, you couldn’t wait. You PRESSED. To you Psych majors, when you PRESS, you lose with women.
So Hillary called and broke your date. Very nice – now you’ve got your first broken date. Sounds like you’re heading for your third bad relationship in a row, pal. Face it, Lavar, the way you’re handling things, it’s history already. Hillary’s already looking for another beach buddy.
When Hillary dodged you, of course you played it cool and went out with some other friends. What else could you do? You had to suck it up, didn’t you? What choice did you have?
Then she was supposed to call you and didn’t. Now let me guess what you did – you showed Hillary how tough you were by not calling her back, right? Wrong! What a surprise! So now you’re going to do a little begging, right? Great! Hillary seemed distant towards you? Wow, that’s inconsistent!Doc Love Club Member:
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