2 GOOD WOMEN - ONE WANTS HIM - THE OTHER DOESN'T - AND OF COURSE HE WANTS THE ONE THAT COULD CARE LESS ABOUT HIM!
THE SYSTEM says that you have to grasp reality in dating - this guy is doing anything but...
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Dating Women Podcast #227:
The importance of understanding her
HAVE YOU PLUGGED INTO YOUR FREEBIES YET?
First let me say that your website and radio show are addictive. I’d call you for coaching, but I’m nervous about being on the air. So I’ll give you a brief summary of my situation.
Two years ago I met Taylor online. We instantly clicked. Seven months later we decided to move in together. I was considering marrying her too. Well, a few months ago things changed. Taylor broke up with me. I wrote her a letter explaining how I felt that she had not given our relationship a fair chance. She called me and said, “You’re right. I think we need to spend more time together and see where things go.”
Well, I kept asking her to see me, and every time she made excuses why she couldn’t. I sent her an e-mail and told her I was sick of it. She apologized and promised she would make things better. In the meantime, I met Dana, an absolutely wonderful woman. She called me all the time, said she wanted to see me, and came right out and said she liked me. One day she asked “So when are you going to ask me to be your girl?” Anyway, Dana has been hanging in there ever since. She’s a Giver, very sweet, and she makes me feel special.
But my heart is still with Taylor. Why can’t I get over Taylor when I have Dana, who is practically falling all over me? I e-mailed Taylor recently and told her that all I ever wanted was for someone to treat me right and be there for me, and I added, “Obviously you can’t provide that, so it’s time I meet someone who will.” She then asked me to dinner to “talk.” We went out, and she told me “I was never in love with you. I think you are a great guy and I want you as my friend. Maybe sometime down the line we can get back together.”
I knew what that meant. It translates into “Howie, I want to string you along because I’ve found someone else and I need you as a backup in case it doesn’t work out.” No way, I told her. This date was a chance for her to throw one last punch at me, and I fell for it.
In the meantime, Dana has been waiting patiently. She called and said, “I miss you. I want to see you.” What I can’t understand is why I’m hung up on a woman who won’t give me the time of day, and pass on one who is good-looking, sweet and giving.
Doc, I realize I’ve made some mistakes. Will you help me? I’ve had such bad luck with women. Can you make sense out of any of this?
Howie - who can’t take getting beat up anymore
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
Your first mistake was moving in with Taylor too soon – way, way, WAY too soon. What have I told you guys again and again? You have to go in SLOW. You can never go in too slow. Apparently you didn’t follow my advice.
It doesn’t matter that you wanted to marry Taylor, pal. The only thing that counts is whether she ever considered marrying YOU. Remember, the most important tenet of “The System” is that it’s her Interest Level that matters – not yours.
You think Taylor didn’t give your relationship a fair chance? Hey – she gave you seven months! What more do you want? But you still want to see where things go. Dude, on her side they can only go from 40% to 49%. But don’t hold your breath – Taylor’s Interest Level is never going to see 51%. You already blew your chance.
Isn’t it funny how women always have excuses not to see you when their Interest Level is lower than 50%? I can’t imagine why! And you didn’t really get all kinds of tough with Taylor and tell her off, Howie. You begged. What you did by listing all the stuff she never did for you is called begging. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “Here you’re finally standing up for your rights, and she’s in the arms of another man!” Sadly for you, pal; you’re already in the past. You’re so far in the past it’s not even funny.
But Taylor promised to make things better. She should have said she was going to up her Interest Level, but we know that’s impossible.
Know why Dana can’t get enough of you? Because of...
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