TOO SOCIALLY AWKWARD TO FIND LOVE - TRUE OR NOT?
THE SYSTEM says that sometimes you can be your own worst enemy like the guy featured in our latest article that is afraid he is too socially awkward to find anyone - he is putting a head trip on himself - find out why...
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Dating Women Podcast #220:
Are you using social media to prove to yourself that you're a loser? YOU NEED TO STOP (and many of you do this without even realizing it!)
HAVE YOU PLUGGED INTO YOUR FREEBIES YET?
I have two problems, and I hope you can help me.
Here’s the first. While most people have developed normally, it appears that other people (like me) do not, and we lack social skills compared to “normal” people. My problem is purely mental, not physical. I am not crazy or violent, just deficient in certain areas of brain function.
Doc, this makes it easy for me to commit social faux pas. Sometimes when people address me, I might not understand exactly what they’re saying. My hearing is perfect, but sometimes I draw a blank. Also, my lack of solid social skills means that some people might think I’m odd or weird. I’ve gotten better by learning and trying harder, but these problems are likely to last a lifetime.
So you can probably see where my second problem -- with women -- comes in. It can be hard to keep up in conversations, and I think they pick up on how “different” I am. I’m a decent-looking fellow, and I’ve had some rather pretty girls flirt with me, but I don’t have the Confidence to use your techniques because I’m not sure they would work for someone like me.
How am I supposed to be Confident when I stumble in conversations and make mistakes? My problems also attract attention from the worst kind of people – those who enjoy cutting me down in front of others, especially pretty women, as it gives them a rush. There is nothing more emasculating than being cut down in front of a pretty woman. It’s worse because I guess you could say I’m a “nice guy” and don’t fight back well.
Doc, what should I do? How can I be a winner when people have always (and will likely continue) to bring me down in front of Beautiful Women? I don’t know what to do, and at times I can feel very broken.
Roger - who can’t feel like a winner when he feels like a loser
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
You got two problems, pal? You’re real lucky! Most people have at least 11!
Roger, sometimes “normal” people commit blunders, too. You’re basically an okay guy; you just make a lot more mistakes than other guys, that’s all. Whereas the so-called typical person on the street makes 20 boo-boos, you make 80.
Like the great Doctor Freud once said, “Of course your problem is purely mental.” Maybe you had lousy parents. And if it wasn’t them who screwed you up, then maybe you weren’t born with a full deck. In life, everyone has shortcomings of some kind, what a surprise! But we’re going to give it a shot anyway.
First you should go and see a counselor – a guy or gal with a sheepskin, one who specializes in treating your type of problem. But like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “Don’t spend your money for more than three months if something good isn’t happening.”
Lots of people draw blanks in conversations, Roger, don’t forget that. My book is full of witty and brilliant things to say to women, so that should be your first stop. You don’t sound that bad off to me. It’s just that you haven’t been exposed to the correct training or experience. And, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “I think you’re laying a heavy trip on yourself. Give yourself a break.”
My friend, there are lots of loser guys out there who say the wrong stuff all the time, so don’t feel like you’re alone. You’re being way too hard on yourself. And that can set you back straight out of the gate, no matter who you are.
But let’s concede that you might have a lack of social skills anyway. What are you going to do about it? Go on...
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