IS HE REALLY TOO GOOD LOOKING TO DATE WOMEN? (NO)
THE SYSTEM says that it's not really your looks but how you act - his good looks are not the problem here...
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Dating Women Podcast #205:
Why taking things 24 hours at a time can really help you in dating.
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I’m a 24-year-old man who works as a personal trainer. I bought and read “The System” and I thought all my troubles with women were over. However, this is far from the case. In fact, I think that I had more success with women before I got your book.
I’m a good-looking guy, which might be part of the problem. Do good- looking guys have to do anything different than the average guy when it comes to dating? What exactly are the rules when women make comments on your looks? Not too long ago a friend was telling me that girls don’t like to have relationships with good-looking guys because they think the guys are more likely to cheat on them and that they’re mostly interested in us for a one-night stand. And in fact I’ve had women approach me very aggressively at parties and try to take me into a back room. When I didn’t give them what they were after, they wanted nothing to do with me. I’m not a one-night stand type of guy.
To make matters worse, older women are always trying to pick me up and I always seem to have trouble with girls my own age. Another friend – a woman – told me that girls my age find me “intimidating.” Rarely a day goes by when one of these “desperate housewives” doesn’t hint at going out with me or even makes an overt sexual comment. Perhaps you could help me with that one?
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Here’s a specific example of my problems. I knew Shannon, who’s around my age, from the gym, though I never asked her out. Recently I went up to her, made small talk, then asked for her e-mail address. She wrote down her phone number as well and said, “Call me sometime next week.”
I waited six days to call, and when I did she said, “Can you call me back later? I’m about to eat dinner with my family.” I said, “This won’t take long. I’m going to Dairy Queen on Sunday and would like you to join me.” She said, “I’m working all weekend.” There was no counteroffer. A few days later I e-mailed her, saying that she seemed like a very busy person and asked when a good time to call her was. I never got a reply. That means that her Interest Level dropped below 50%. Now obviously it was above 50% when she gave me her e-mail and number because she went out of her way to write them down. What caused her Interest Level to drop? I hardly said anything!
Doc, I’ve followed your techniques as closely as I know how. Am I doing something wrong or is there something wrong with these girls?
Alex - who’s sick and tired of being frustrated
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
I know you’ve got my book, but right there’s your problem – you bought it and only read it, and that’s not enough. What have I told you guys again and again? In order for the principles to sink in, you have to commit it to memory. You have to log more library time, my friend.
Let’s talk about this “problem” you have with your looks, and let’s think about you’re saying. You start out pretty good with women, right? And you go out and get another book that makes you even better with women, right? But after you read the book, whatever mojo you had with the babes suddenly drops off. Maybe it’s because what you were reading didn’t sink in. Did you ever think about that?
Now let’s take a look at your next statement: “I’ve got a problem -- I’m a good-looking guy.” Wow. Every other guy on the planet would kill to look like The Rock or Idris Alba so how the heck can that be a problem? Like Doctor Freud says, “Son, you’re living in an alternate reality.”
Alex, you’re good-looking. Out of 100 guys you’re in the top eight. How could you actually buy my book and maintain that being good-looking is a drawback? Sure, things are different for good-looking guys when it comes to dating. Like the Reality Factor points out, “They talk a lot less because they don’t have to sell themselves as much.” Want to know what you say when women comment on your movie-star looks? You say thank you very much. You smile. You’re a gentleman, remember? Be gracious.
So, in your universe girls don’t like to date good-looking guys. Then how is it that...
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