Dating Women Advice: How Did Jerry Seinfeld Maneuver Around His Wife’s Parents?
BROUGHT FRIENDS ON THE DATE?
THE SYSTEM says that when they want a group date you are in trouble. He thinks the problem is with her strict parents but his issues go deeper than that...
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HAVE YOU PLUGGED INTO YOUR FREEBIES YET?
I’ve been reading you for quite a while now (two to three years), but only lately started to realize that “The System” contains no false or optional statements. It really has helped me not only understand relationships, but also develop a backbone for business.
On with my situation. I met Allegra over the internet. It was a quick chat (no photos), she left me her number, and I called after seven days and asked for a date. She accepted, and the first date went really well. I stood by your principles, looked her in the eyes at all times (the fact that she’s Beautiful helped) and guided her into talking about herself. I watched her Interest Level slowly rise. She started touching me, looked back into my eyes and asked me questions. I walked her home and didn’t kiss her.
After five days, I called and ask her for another date, during the week, of course. She accepted, but showed up with a girlfriend. After 10 minutes, a boyfriend joined the “date.” After another 10 minutes I excused myself and left. The strange thing was that while I was there, Allegra gave me a lot of signals, including mentioning to her girlfriend that she’s single and wants to change that.
Two days later I got a phone message from Allegra in which she said she felt sorry that the date didn’t go as planned. After three days I called and asked for a date, not mentioning what happened. She refused the suggested date but quickly counter-offered with a date for a stage play.
Halfway through the date I leaned over and kissed her. She kissed me back. I gauged her Interest Level to be over 80%, just how you taught me to. So I feel that I righted the ship after that disastrous second date.
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The problem, Doc, is that her parents have some strict rules. She’s 19 and a student. I’m 22, also a student and working. She has to be home before seven o’clock and I barely get out of work by nine o’clock. This makes dating during weekdays impossible. I actually had to skip a conference call to meet her today, but she doesn’t know this.
Doc, Allegra has Integrity (she never seems to have lied to me), Flexibility (we get along fine and she has a nice Attitude), and Giving. For instance, she smokes and I don’t. She asked me if kissing a girl who just smoked is unpleasant for me. I said yes and she immediately put the cigarette back in the pack.
This girl really has potential, but I’m just not able to cope with the weekdays-only dating rule. Perhaps meeting her parents would help. Any advice, Doc?
Ira - who feels hampered by the techniques that helped him
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
For eight years I taught seminars in Los Angeles. Lots of guys who own their own businesses have called me back over the years to tell me how well the principles of “The System” carry over into their business and professional lives. But I don’t think it’s just a matter of “carrying over.” I believe that a universal truth is involved in my techniques, and that’s why they work.
Now let me just get this straight. You and Allegra didn’t even see photos of each other and you got together for a date? She didn’t even know what you looked like and here she was giving you her number? Wasn’t that all a little too fast? Wasn’t that a little dangerous, with all the wackos running around out there? Didn’t Allegra ever hear of Ted Bundy?
That aside, I have to say that you acted perfectly on your first date. So far you get an A. And if Allegra’s as much of a knockout as you say she is, it doesn’t surprise me in the least that she warmed to the task of talking about herself. When it comes to the Beautiful Woman, it’s always all about her, isn’t it? And that’s your problem in a nutshell, but we’ll get into that in a second.
Then she showed up on your second date with a girlfriend. Uh-oh. Huge problem. Massive problem. The first thing that occurs to me is that this girl’s a...
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