SHE'S ULTRA-CONSERVATIVE - HOW SHOULD HE PROCEED?
THE SYSTEM says that there are basic tenets involved to dating that apply whether you're dating a conservative girl or not.
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It's important to not show negatives when you're dating women
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I’ve read your book and I agree with your principles. I salute you and I’m very grateful for the knowledge you are imparting to us guys.
Here’s my problem. You’ve written that your techniques apply across the globe, but I’m starting to think twice. I’m a college student and live in the Philippines. In this country we practice traditional Christian courting. This has been ingrained in us since 1600 A.D. We call this mating dance “ligaw.” Women here are half-traditional and half-liberated. Normally in “ligaw” the man befriends the girl first. It’s so useless. Worse, it’s anti-Challenge.
In this culture we become stooges for the woman, Doc. We carry her bag and open doors for her. We offer to escort her home, and as always, we pay for the transportation. We mingle with her friends and often eat lunch with them. (Yup, it’s like a group date. I know that “The System” tells us to isolate the girl from her group so that we can go one on one, but it’s different here.)
Then there are the mushy and romantic text messages that we have to send her to make her feel we love her. We guys meet their parents early in this mating dance. Any dates we schedule have to go through them first, and it’s their decision whether we can even take the girl out or not. This process may take two months and can stretch up to five months. Tradition is nothing but a waste of time! And all that time we can’t be seen courting other ladies since that would mean infidelity. And Doc, news spreads faster here than a brushfire.
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At the end of this ordeal, you have to ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend. You see, Doc, in our tradition the power of the guys in the mating dance is given up early.
By contrast, America is an efficient country. There you can ask the girl up front for her phone number and call her for a date. Here, if you call her and ask for a date, she’ll decline. Why? Because if she accepts the date on just a call, she’ll be branded a slut. Women here are expected to be shy and reserved. They don’t go out with men on their own. That’s why group dates are one of the best shots we guys can take. We can’t even kiss them after a date. A kiss is totally sacred and we guys are considered disrespectful if we try to go for that smooch.
Doc, how can I short-circuit this morass of tradition? I know I can’t break it altogether, but I have to find a way to apply your techniques. I’ve been wracking my brain for days searching for applications of “The System” in my situation. Love Soldier reporting for duty, Doc!
Carlos - who feels at a complete disadvantage
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
Thanks very much for the compliment. And don’t worry. We’re going to work this thing out. That’s my job. And that’s why you guys contact me from all over the world. And I really appreciate the time you took to write your letter.
So, your Filipino mating dance goes back over 400 hundred years. That’s not so old, pal. Look at it this way -- “The System” goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. As far as “ligaw” is concerned, there’s a way to attack it from within. What you’re going to do is work on the liberated side of these babes.
It’s okay to befriend the girls you’re interested in, Carlos. Doing that isn’t at cross-purposes to my principles. In a minute I’ll show you how you’re going to operate.
Of course tradition is anti-Challenge. But what you’re going to do is deploy Challenge in the areas that are open to you. You won’t be able to work it quite as much, but you’ll work it nevertheless, as much as you’re able to. And since it’s such a powerful, basic element in the relations between men and women, giving her a portion of Challenge still separates you from everyone else around you, because they won’t be using any Challenge at all.
When you talk about being stooges for women, are you referring to the guys in the Philippines or the United States? Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “We got the same sickness over here, baby.” But it’s all right to carry bags and open doors for her. The important thing is whether or not she says “Thank you.” Does she gaze into your eyes? Do they get real big when she sees you? Is she happy to be near you when you do these little things for her?
Because if she doesn’t, this is the last time you’re carrying her bags or opening the door or doing anything else for her. If she shows no gratitude or interest, this girl’s a-goner and you’re quickly moving on to a new adventure. What you’re doing is testing her by the standards of “The System” in your own culture. In this case, you’re measuring her level of appreciation for you.
Carlos, you should...
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