UH, SHE'S BORED DUDE!
THE SYSTEM says that if she's OBVIOUSLY tired and BORED then you should not continue the date - unfortunately he did....
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There Are Worse Things Than Being Alone - DO NOT COMMIT UNLESS SHE'S IT!
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I’ve had your “System” for over a year and have been practicing it ever since. Being able to weed out the Feministas, Gold Diggers, and ungiving women has been a blessing.
I met Ashley through eHarmony.com. She’s 95% of what I’ve been looking for. To be honest, the only thing I’d change is to open her mind to different kinds of food -- this girl can eat chicken and steamed vegetables every day and not get bored because that’s all she likes. She’s 26, a knockout, educated, has a good job, her own place, and lives a good life. I’m 26, make a great living, almost have my own place (I share with my brother since he’s broke), and am looking to find a wonderful girl I can go the distance with.
Doc, I used your techniques to win this gal. Being the ultimate gentleman, I opened her doors, kept our dates light and fun, and treated her with respect. To my surprise, she offered to pay for our first four dates. I paid, of course, and she liked that. I think I waited too long (the fourth date) to kiss her though, but after I did she complimented me on my talent and proceeded to kiss me some more.
Tonight was our sixth rendezvous. I took Ashley to an upscale Chinese restaurant and we saw a comedy act at the Improv. Dinner was just okay since the restaurant was loud and we got terrible service, but she was a sport and our conversation was light and funny. We made the show on time, but the seating was bad since we were up against the wall and I had a small table as a barrier between us, and I had wanted to sit next to her and have my arm around her at least.
So here’s where I’m confused. On the way back to her place Ashley got really tired – she was yawning and almost fell asleep in the car. I walked her up to her apartment door, and we went inside and sat down on her couch. I could see in her face that she was ready to pass out so I said, “I’m leaving.”
I went in for a short kiss. After all of our earlier dates we always had a great time -- we would have a short, fun conversation at her place and I got the impression that she didn’t want me to leave. This time however, the energy just wasn’t there.
Her playful comment at that point irked me: “Since it’s only nine o’clock, what are you going to do -- go home and go to sleep?” I laughed it off, but I was a little offended since she gave me the impression that she thought I had no life. I should have said that I was going to call my friends and go have fun with them, but I didn’t.
Doc, am I thinking about this too much? Would you have done anything different? Should I be worried about Ashley’s Interest Level, or is a girl entitled to one off night in six?
Lamarr - who wonders if he played it too cool
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
You don’t realize it, but you’re one lucky guy! When it’s your turn to cook Ashley dinner, you can throw hers together in five minutes. You don’t know how fortunate you are to have someone who’s not a picky eater! Chicken and steamed veggies? A breeze! You’ve got a hell of a woman there. This girl’s 100%, not 95%. Too bad you probably won’t be able to keep her.
Because you haven’t even “won” Ashley yet, despite what you may think. You’ve only gotten through six dates with her -- barely. And number six didn’t exactly put you over the top. Like most guys, you’re going way too fast. (And let me remind you that you’re still going to be light and funny and treat her with respect after 40 years of marriage, too – if you get that far, which I doubt.)
Before we go on, let me ask you this: why is a girl who likes you offering to pay for everything so soon? She should be doing it on the fourth or sixth date, not for every single date. This is a huge RED FLAG, dude, and you should have picked up on it. The dating dance says that the guy pays for the first four dates. And another thing -- you should have kissed her sooner. You waited too long.How come you didn’t...
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I’m confused Doc. On one show you said it’s okay for a girl to offer to pay for the date but if she insists instead then it’s a major red flag, so which is which?
It all depends on the context and # of dates. If she insists on paying on date 1 then it’s a red flag because she’s likely not interested. If she insists on date 6 after you had 5 good dates before that it shows she’s a giver and probably has HIGH INTEREST LEVEL. https://www.doclove.com/system gives you guidelines but then you have to interpret every situation which is why I tell guys to keep on studying! Thanks for writing.