He's Rushing It... | Doc Love - Dating Advice For Men

Dating Women Advice: Did Jamie Foxx Let Katie Holmes Move Too Fast?


​​He's got a chance with her but the mistakes with sex, PDA and more have got to stop NOW!

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Dating Women Podcast #105

105:  Outside Of Being A Taker And Selfish, She's Perfect (Ugh!)

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Hey Doc,

I’ve followed you for over a decade, but not so much over the past few years. During that time, I let myself become a non-Challenge to my wife and didn’t realize it until her Interest (and respect) Level dropped too low to recover from. Now the marriage is over and I moved to a different city. I bought “The System” on audio and began online dating.

I recently met Lana, who more than checks all the boxes: Integrity, Flexible, a Giver, classy, educated, financially independent, interesting, and extremely attractive. We also have a LOT in common. Thanks to “The System,” she can hardly contain her enthusiasm for me.

I’ve let Lana wonder about my Interest Level, like when I withheld contact after our first date even though my own interest was very high. She began texting me on the third day after that first meeting, so I followed your rules and accepted her advances, and called her to arrange the next date. She invited me to her daughter’s birthday party where her family would be, but I told her I’d rather have more one-on-one time before something like that, and we agreed on a hike four days later instead.

On the hike I let Lana do most of the talking, kept the conversation very light, managed to dodge serious subjects, and kept her laughing. Afterwards we got lunch at a trendy downtown area. This was when she began touching me and giving me other buying signals, and she paid for lunch. So, while walking back to my car, I stopped on the street corner and kissed her, which went extremely well. Even though she says she hardly knows much about me, she is falling for me hard.

The next time we saw each other was dinner at her place. When I walked in, her beautiful short dress and heels, perfect hair and make-up told me she really wanted the evening to go well, and it did. We kissed more after dinner and I spent the night, which I’ll just say was spectacular in every way.

Doc, my question is this: You say that when she makes advances, I should accept them. Does that mean I should allow her to progress our relationship fast? I believe you when you say the first 60 days set the tone for the whole relationship, but since her interest is really high, should I seize that and move to more of the Maintenance Program of affection, romance, respect, and humor (while I still practice Challenge)? Or should I instead let her feel like she has to keep pursuing me?

Dack - who thinks your work is profound

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Hi Dack,

First of all, allow me to say something to you and everyone reading this column. You had “The System” and you walked away from it. Then your wife walked away from you. And that’s the very heart of what you need to know – you can never walk away from my book. The System” is FOREVER. So I’m happy you bought the audio edition and returned to it, my friend.

Now let me straighten you out on something else. You don’t really know Lana. You certainly don’t know whether or not she has Integrity because you haven’t gone out with her for two years. You’ve been out on exactly two dates with her. Integrity – made up of Honesty, Loyalty, and Trust – comes of knowing a person for a long time. And again, you don’t know this woman at all.

It was great that you didn’t agree to meet Lana’s family and daughter. Most guys would have eagerly accepted that invitation, and I’m very happy to see that you held off. Dack, you shouldn’t be meeting Lana’s kid. You should be meeting her kid and family only after six months of dating. It’s way too soon right now. If you did, Lana’s daughter would be saying to herself, “Who the heck is this guy? How does he fit into my life?” I like the fact that Lana has 95% Interest Level, but I don’t like the fact that she’s out of control.

These articles give you a lot - but not enough - you need THE SYSTEM if you really want to be successful with women. Not sure? Read our "you changed my life letters."

Since she paid for lunch, you know that Lana is a Giver. That’s great. But it was a big mistake to...

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Hi Atticus,


First of all, anytime a woman uses the word “space,” you’re DEAD. And when she utters the word “single,” it’s every bit as bad as the word “space,” and it means that you’re OUT. And in turn it means that her Interest Level has dropped below 50%, which means that there is no recovering.


Atticus, the really sad part is that at one time in this relationship, perhaps for a year and a half to two years, Dakota had high Interest Level in you. But due to your deportment, you slowly lowered it. Since I notice that you don’t mention “The System,” you’re not aware of how this process of deterioration works and you don’t even see that it’s going on. If you would have had my book one year before you met Dakota, she would be begging you for babies right now. Instead, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Just the thought of you touching her makes her skin crawl.”


How can you envision a future with Dakota when she doesn’t even want to be in the same room with you? How obvious does she have to make it before you get the drift that you’re not just out, but that you’re COMPLETELY OUT?


Dude, Dakota isn’t confused at all – you’re the one who’s confused. She has low Interest Level, you’re out, and you think she has high interest and that you’re still in. That’s why you’re confused – not her.


Guy, Dakota doesn’t want you around her family anymore. What’s the point? This thing is over. To you Psych majors, when you lose the girlfriend, you lose the family too. Most guys don’t realize this. What are you going to do, hang around Dakota’s family and show up to her wedding when she marries her real love? So forget her sister and her fiancé. That’s dead, gone, and finished. Sure, they love you – but what good is it when your girlfriend is out of love with you?


Dakota’s Facebook posts aren’t mixed signals at all. They are very, very clear signals to you, my friend. They are saying that you are history. And again, why are you going to be friends with a couple related to a woman who dumped you? And you think they’re never going to talk about Dakota with you? Come on, Atticus, how unrealistic can you be?


You don’t know what Dakota’s motives are when she contacts you. The only thing you can know for sure is that you’re OUT. You definitely need my book, man. Again, if you’d had “The System,” this disaster never would have happened. But Dakota began to lose interest in you between a year and a half and two years before the breakup, and it slid all the way from 95% to below 50%. And when it hit 49%, she said “I’m out of here!”


You can’t approach this situation anymore, Atticus. You have to get my book and memorize it ASAP and find someone new who you haven’t blown it with. The truth is that you’re not rejecting Dakota when you tell her not to contact you because you’re already out.


Remember, guys: unless you memorize “The System,” you’ll just repeat the same mistakes with the next woman you meet. 

Hi Garry,


As soon as you began having trouble with your wife, you didn’t have “The System” overnighted to you (or buy my immediate downloads - ELECTRONIC SYSTEM or SYSTEM AUDIO). Why not? Do you realize the terrible anguish you could have saved yourself? All that time Donatella’s interest was going from 90%...to 88%...to 85%...to 82%, etc. And as most American men do, you noticed it finally when it hit 60% or 57% or somewhere in that area. “The System” says that this woman probably once loved you. You’ve been with her for 15 years, and she probably loved you for eight to 10 years of that time. After that, because you took her for granted, her Interest Level began to drop.


And let me explain something to you. Interest Level doesn’t drop from 100% to 49% in an hour, or overnight, even though that’s the man’s perception of what’s going on. No, like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “It takes time and negligence to erode.” That’s why if you’d have memorized my materials, when it went from 91% to 89% you would have known to start getting into my MAINTENANCE PROGRAM, which will secure the woman wanting to stay with you forever. But like most men in America, you knew how to get her, but you didn’t know how to keep her. That’s why a majority of women recently reported in a national survey that they wouldn’t marry the same guy again. But since you didn’t have my book, what’s happened to you now is predictable.


You might have thought this situation was going to improve on its own, Garry, but when Interest Level goes 60%...58%..56%...54%, it’s like an airplane going down. It won’t pull up by itself. Like my cousin General Love says, “It just crashes and burns.” And that’s what happened with your wife. You murdered her Interest Level through your deportment.


So when your relationship with Donatella took another dive, why didn’t you Google a love doctor for some advice? The question to ask was, why is this woman so turned off when for eight or 10 years she idolized me? Dude, a good salary and taking care of your family financially doesn’t equate to romance to a female.


Your wife had been showing you for a long time that you were miles apart. Did she really have to verbalize it and tell you she no longer loved you? You’ve been with her for a long time, and when she finally said it after a deterioration of five or six years, it was only then that you sat up and took notice? Are you blind? And to you Psych majors, when she tells you that she no longer loves you, you are OUT.


Now let me explain something else to you. When Interest Level consistently drops, it’s NEVER temporary. It’s only temporary until she leaves. Then it’s final,


Now you’re in a fatal depression, pal. If you’d been studying my book all along, it would have made the pain more bearable. So the first thing you have to do now is have “The System” OVERNIGHTED to you and MEMORIZE it (or get an immediate download - SYSTEM AUDIO or ELECTRONIC SYSTEM). Because when it comes to women, you are absolutely clueless, even after you’ve lived with this woman for so long. Garry, I know more about your wife than you do and I’ve never even met the woman. And that’s very sad.


Then, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “You have to suck it up.” When Donatella calls, be polite, don’t talk about your relationship, ask her how much money she needs, send her a check and ask her if there’s anything more you can do for her. Maybe, with time, she’ll meet you for coffee, then maybe a dinner date, then maybe you’ll move into getting her back into the house. Try to talk to your kids as much as possible. You’ll have to apologize for blowing up and making a fool of yourself because when you did that, it only reinforced your wife’s low Interest Level. Because what she said to herself was that she didn’t realize that her husband was so lacking in Self-Control!


But no matter what, you still need my book. You need to find out where you went wrong with your wife. Like I said earlier, you’re clueless.


Whether or not Donatella has found someone else is beyond your control. So don’t make the problem even worse than it is. Get “The System,” study it like heck, and we’ll do our best to get her back.


Donatella didn’t throw away anything over nothing. You stopped romancing your wife and took her for granted. You never told her she was Beautiful. You didn’t treat her like a woman. If you did, she would still be all over you.


Remember, guys: to keep your wife in love with you, you have to date her.

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