She Doesn't Want Him... | Doc Love - Dating Advice For Men

Dating Women Advice: Can’t Get Over Her


SHE dominates his thoughts - HE doesn't even enter into her mind.  Guys, don't pine for a woman that could care less...

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Hey Doc,

I’ve been reading your articles for the past two years on and off, and it has definitely helped me with my game. But as I search for a specific article that addresses my problem, I can’t seem to find it.

I’m a college student and I’ve had a thing for Piper for a while now. She is not drop-dead gorgeous but she has a great body and a pretty face. At first she seemed interested in me. She gave me the typical signs, such as random texts, calls, etc. But as time passed, I made the major mistake you’ve warned all of us about: getting too attached. I got carried away with trying to start a relationship with her. I started to call her too frequently, like once a day.

Predictably, she grew distant. For the next two weeks she didn’t call or talk to me.

After those two weeks, I walked up to her after class and said hello. She told me bluntly that she had to talk to me. She pulled me aside and said “Okay, I’m ending this.” They were her exact words. I asked for a reason, and she said, “I don’t know.” I said all right and walked away.

It’s been quite a while now since I’ve last talked to Piper. The problem is that I’m not over her. I’ve come up with a few reasons why she lost the spark: her friends say that when things started to get serious she freaked. Another reason might be that she had a lot of things going on in her life during that time, like dance shows and such. But the real reason, I think, is that I got too attached to her. I realize my mistake now and I don’t know what to do.

Since this all happened, I’ve been dating around, but I still have feelings for Piper and I really want to have a relationship with her. Should I still try and go for it with her? If, so, how? Should I call her, send an email, letter or instant message? I’m torn between my logic and my emotions. My friends tell me to leave Piper behind, but I can’t get her out of my mind. Should I give it another shot, this time with the new knowledge that I’ve acquired from the girls I’ve been recently dating, or should I just move on?

I would appreciate some feedback.

Winston - who can’t seem to forget her


I'll give you the 411 on how to approach women AND also 6 more GREAT dating lessons all FOR FREE - oh, let me say that word one more time:



Hi Winston,

The reason you can’t find a specific article that addresses your problem is that you don’t have my book and you’re only reading my articles off and on. As my Uncle Jethro Love says, “You’re doing everything half-assed!”

And let me tell you that if you’d bought “The System” and read all of my articles, you wouldn’t be writing me right now. But like so many guys, you don’t want to invest in the best material for dealing with women and relationships you’ll ever get your hands on. By going el cheapo, you’ve screwed yourself, pal.

If Piper gave you some signs of interest, why didn’t you ask her out? Why didn’t you say “Let’s go out for pizza and Pepsi Thursday at six. Can you make it?” You didn’t close the deal, Winston.

You have to ask for the order in sales, but you just went back and forth with this girl without asking her out. That was your first problem.

But you don’t know about closing because you don’t have my book – where the topic is covered in great detail — and you only read some of my articles.

To you Psych majors, you don’t just start a relationship with a girl. You ask for her phone number and you take her out and you build something date upon date. But you just called Piper every day and said nothing and accomplished nothing.

There’s a chapter in my book called TELEPHONE BLUNDERS that you obviously have not seen or read. It tells you to STAY OFF THE PHONE. And you’ve read my articles on and off for two years? Are you sure you have the right love doctor?

Of course Piper grew distant when you kept calling her. She was telling you that she was turned off and not interested in you. You should have asked her if she had a girlfriend for you and moved on right then and there.

When Piper pulled you aside and told you she was ending it, what it meant was that she has absolutely no interest in you whatsoever. Ironically, you’re reading my articles and you’ve learned nothing from them.

Piper told you she was not interested and practically screamed “Don’t project your Interest Level onto me! I’m not physically attracted to you – get the drift?” When she said she didn’t know why she was ending it, she didn’t want to come right out and say “Go home and look in the mirror.”

You might not be over Piper, but she’s certainly over you. In fact, she never even started being interested in you. You’re living in a fantasy here, Winston.

You’re the typical guy who has 90% Interest Level, knows nothing about women in spite of the fact that you claim to have read my articles, and this girl’s interest in you is ZERO. The most important factor in a relationship is the girl’s Interest Level and Piper hasn’t shown you any buying signals whatsoever. Now you’re going to keep hassling her when she told you in essence to get lost.

Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Next, she’s going to call the cops and get a restraining order on you.” And I wouldn’t blame her for doing it.

Piper didn’t lose the spark. She never had the spark. This girl from day one never cared for you. Then you went and talked to her girlfriends about her! Why don’t you bring her parents in next? Dude, you never even had a first date with this girl! Yes, she had other things going on in her life – things she was interested in, and you weren’t one of them!

Winston, you are too attached to Piper, but you’re attached to someone who doesn’t even like you. That’s the sad part, and you don’t even see it. Piper isn’t merely indifferent towards you — she actively doesn’t like you. That’s all there is to it.

What should you do? Move on. Buy my book and learn what you’re doing wrong — and you’re doing everything wrong.

Now let me get this straight. You’re dating around and you still don’t have my book and yet you come to me for advice? What college are you in, by the way? Do they really give out degrees where you go?

Despite everything, you still want to have a relationship with Piper. What does she have to do, send over a couple of bikers to break your legs before you take the hint?

Remember, guys: you get one shot per girl per lifetime.


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  • William says:

    That’s telling him Doc! No “System’,” no chance.

  • Pilager says:

    Now wait a minute, Doc. Little rough on sir Winston here. He almost send the night in the clinker and scared for life. Maybe a cupcake at sprinkles be more PC.

    Winston! You want the girl? Get sharp and stop being stupid. Your contributing to the pussification of American men. As a disclosure, I just did what you did x 10 and feel like a big V.. And I read/live the scriptures…. It’s just… So easy to lose focus. It’s work, it’s a plan….. It’s a brotherhood. Now buy the book and take the oath.

  • Anthony says:

    Doc, I’ve had your book for past 4 years and listen to all your podcasts. Caprice goes to the same church as I do. We both have been going to this same church since we were born.She has been giving me buying signals for the past 3 years (she’s 20 I’m 27). I never asked for her number. She somehow got my number and started texting me but I didn’t reciprocate. She calls me her “husband”, laughs at all my jokes, even told my sister that she has been trying to get me to ask her out. I am really attracted to her but didn’t want to ask her out cause in your book you say women at her age are fickle. She now has a boyfriend who lives in a state far away ( they have been bf and gf for a month now). Doc, I really like this girl but I feel like I waited too long.I know what your book says about dating girls with boyfriends but I feel like I need to just ask her out anyway. Also, how should I approach dating girls that go to my church. I can’t just disappear cause I play drums at my church on Sundays. Thank you. -Anthony

    • DocLove says:

      Hi Anthony – Ideally you want someone 23 or above but 20 is pushing it but still okay since you’re only 27 – just temper your expectations. However, you did wait too long – she has a boyfriend so forget it for now but ask her out if that ever changes. HOWEVER can you deal with the fact that if things go south with her, which they most likely will due to her age, that you’ll see her every Sunday? Personally I’d stay away from her even if she gets rid of the guy due to her age and the fact you have to see her every week BUT that still doesn’t mean you can’t do it – you just have to realize there are some built in drawbacks if you do so.

      Also, the 18-22 thing is just a guideline – I’m not saying every girl in that age range is not ready for a relationship — ODDS ARE they aren’t but each woman is an individual you have to get to know. Remember each date is practice for the next but you have to temper your expectations.

      Remember guy, only YOU can live with YOUR choices and THE SYSTEM isn’t designed to be a dogmatic set of rules but a guidepost that protects good men and allows them to be the most attractive long-term to good women. So, if you’re really attracted to someone then go for it – just make your best decision on what will work for YOU.

      I hope that helps.

  • Alan says:

    Hey Doc!

    I am in college too. Putting the girls on a pedestal is a big no-no around here. Something that has been confusing me is what you say about 18-22 year olds. You say that most are still “girls.” In that case, what should a guy who is 18-22 do? Should he even bother trying to apply The System since most of the girls around his age are not looking for actual relationships? A lot of the girls in college are looking for fun (i.e. hook-ups) and, in my own experience, many of those girls do not respond well to The System principles. From my knowledge of the book, it would make sense to avoid those girls, but the issue resides with the fact that almost everyone parties and it is difficult to distinguish which girls are not so wishy-washy. I greatly appreciate your advice! Thanks Doc!



    • DocLove says:

      Hi Alan – it’s still okay to apply THE SYSTEM because as I always say, every date is practice for the next one. Plus, you never know – you could find a very mature girl in that age range. I just want you to temper your expectations and not be surprised if things go south quickly with girls that are 18-22. Thank you for writing!

  • Moe says:

    interesting that she verbally let him know she’s not into him. Most girls would lead you on despite their low interest level cause they cannot say no to your face… this one has either got proper self esteem or has been bugged to death by sir Winston. Get the book and immerse yourself in the truth. Don’t forget to read it 15 times!

  • Ray says:

    I have so much studying to do. Thanks for this story Doc. Invest in the book and read, read, read.

  • ibrahim Adam says:


    You gotta come up with a way to raise girls interest level back from 44% to 52% again so a dude can have a second chance with the girl of his dream,that should be your next project.

    • DocLove says:

      That would be great wouldn’t it? I’d be a billionaire 10x over if I could do that but that’s like trying to get the sun to rise in the west – it doesn’t meet the REALITY FACTOR. One shot, per girl, per lifetime and once that INTEREST LEVEL is below 50% you will NEVER get it above there, unfortunately. Thanks for writing

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