Be Careful - These Women Will Give You Carpal Tunnel!
Pointing your browser (or Smartphone app) at the profiles of the ladies you're into is an awesome way to get to know someone in the 21st century and you can get more online dating tips for men in my article here but I want to go over some time wasting women you'll encounter on the world wide web because they're out there ready to give you carpal tunnel and false hope!
Time Waster #1: I Don't Know You Very Well
This is the most insidious and creepy one that women can pull online in my opinion. She responds to your message right away and you have great conversations back and forth where you think that meeting her out is imminent until she puts the brakes on with one of the following statements in response to your request to meet her for coffee or a drink:
"Can we speak on the phone first?"
"I need to talk to you more online before I'm comfortable."
"It's too soon."
I'm assuming you didn't come off creepy yourself by saying something sexual or suggesting an out of the way bar and had about 3-4 normal messages back and forth with her. This type of lady is seeking nothing but attention and has no intent of actually meeting you - she just loves her virtual pen pal! Normal women with normal interest level in getting to know you will meet you in a nice, casual, public place after 3-4 good emails back and forth. If she pulls a variation of any of those statements above and you've done everything right then just say NEXT
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Time Waster #2: Separated
I can't believe guys get sucked into this one! I teach in my dating relationship education course named THE SYSTEM that you should have NO exes floating around in the background and if she's separated then don't go there - and I don't care how "over" she says it is (because, gosh, you can trust what an online stranger says to you, right? Errr....).
If she's separated then she's still LEGALLY MARRIED so I would say that qualifies as more than an ex floating around in the background - SHE'S GOT A HUSBAND FLOATING AROUND IN THE BACKGROUND.
Listen - it *might* really be over and he *might* live 10 states away with his new girlfriend but then again it's more likely that there is still at the very least drama going on.
Why in the world would you want to deal with that? Just because she's hot? Yeah, physical attraction can blind guys but don't let it happen. If you're looking to start something then start with a clean deal - make sure she's either single or divorced because "separated" means there's still another guy in the picture - not worth it to get 7 dates in and find out they decided to reconcile!
Time Waster #3: Random Responses
You email her and bam she emails you back right away. You think you have a "live one" and then you respond and then................nothing.
She is online nearly every day but no response to your response. Then a week later you get a "sorry - been busy blah blah blah" and then you respond - and then.................nothing.
The communication between the U.S. and Russia in 1955 was way less strained than this hot mess you're into. You know why you're getting random response? Because she's either not interested or a head case - either way - forget her! A normal flow is to have 3-4 emails go back and forth over the course of 7-10 days and then have a coffee date or drink somewhere to see if you have real life chemistry. The random response woman represents frustration and wasted time!
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I could not agree more with all of the above. I obtained the System in 2010.
I was 54 years young when my wife announced that we were getting Divorced after a 20 year marriage and 2 kids.Like most men, I assumed that her interest level had dropped in the last 6 months. After studying your materials diligently (I read the book 15 times and bought all the Mastery Series and continue to study), I now understand that her interest level had been dropping for years. At least I knew that her interest level had dropped below 50% and there was no hope of going back(not that I had the option)!
Instead,I dedicated myself to becoming a better man. I dropped my bad habits(along with 40 lbs) and started training.
At 54 I had not dated in over 20 years.
I didn’t know where to start but friends recommended Match.
I encountered all of the women mentioned above after more than a year of dating. But I became more aware and more quickly recognized these time wasters so that after about 13 months I finally met the woman who was to become my wife approximately 2 years later. I had bad dates,broken dates,call back to verify dates but I knew what was going on and I never ever gave up hope.
Your material was a godsend. My friends (male and female badmouthing it and calling me a fool) were no help. I just stopped talking about it and kept following the System.
My wife Cindy, is a self reliant flexible giver with a great attitude and I have never been happier. In fact I’m a club member and we now listen to the show together every week. Thank you!
Your loyal student Scott from Cincinnati
Always great to hear from you Scott – your story is awesome and right on the money – THE SYSTEM makes you a better man that can attract and keep Ms. Right – I appreciate you sharing your thoughts – thank you
A woman who doesn’t want to go on a date without speaking to someone on the phone first is a time waster? That is absolutely not true. Just because you have chemistry with someone by email does not mean that that person can actually carry on a real conversation in real life. Whenever I have met someone without chatting first, 50% of the time that person was socially awkward, boring, weird…or just gave me bad vibes. Women receive a ton of interest online and the phone call is a great way to weed out those who aren’t serious. You can’t go on a date with every single person who seems decent for three or four emails.
I must also add that a man who suggests going to coffee after 2 to 3 emails without chatting first is usually going for quantity over quality. He’s the type who wants to invest the least amount of time and money possible to get to know a woman. My time is valuable so I would not waste it on someone who is just trying to churn out 1 million coffee dates. Besides, I know that I would never truly take a coffee date seriously. It screams cheap and boring and what woman wants that?
My preference is to exchange three or four emails and have one or two phone conversations. Then, if the conversations go well, agree to a date within a week or so. And, a *real* date. Doesn’t have to be something elaborate, but we can go shoot pool, go bowling, have a low-key dinner…
Men who are truly interested will invest time and resources in getting to know a woman. And, those who are not willing to do so, are in my opinion, time wasters.
Hmm…I think there are less rules for congress to pass a law than there is to go on a date with you – my students don’t have that kind of time as they’re looking for women that are so interested in them that they’re willing to meet them for a “boring, cheap coffee date” because they like them so much.
Well said Doc it never ever works out with women for me when they want to talk on the phone first especially 2 times like she says ?? Structured and time wasters. If she is afraid she wouldn’t go online.
What’s the big deal we meet in public. The best is when they say do you have another pic ? To which i don’t bother. This happens often in POF site also known as plenty of flakes. A paying site like Match there is quite a few that are willing to meet directly less issues.
One quick question Doc is it mandatory that a woman says every time you take her somewhere ‘Wow where did you find this place ? ‘ I mean they never say that to me however they are impressed where i take them even if they been there before and they say food is good and the place its nice etc… they do show appreciation and thankful though. When i ask them out i always tell them il take you to this very nice resto or someplace really nice etcv…. . I’m very positive during the date its all about a good ambiance.
Thanks for the support and please call the show with your question – it’s a great one and I’d like all the listeners to benefit from our talk. http://www.datingwomenradioshow.com will give you the #’s you can call in on. Again, thanks
Id appreciate if you can give advice opening lines on dating sites . I follow the system. Bought 2010. It works. And has protected my wallet, and my mental health. A sound investment. I am confident approaching and being a challenge in person.
Hi John, please call the radio show because I can answer your question better live so I can go back and forth with you plus other students will learn too:
US TOLL FREE (48 contiguous states): (855) 345-7465
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Thanks for writing!
Great advice, I agree with all of the above. I found out the hard way that you need to speak on the phone at least once.
I met “Candice” on line. She had a nice profile. Well written with similar interests.
We started texting and set up a coffee date.
When we met, she opened her mouth and sounded like Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle.
She spent the next 30 mins torturing the English language. She didn’t understand jokes or light banter…Brutal…
Turns out her son wrote her profile and helped her with some of the text messages…
A simple phone call would have saved me the 30 mins ….
Thanks for the comments – I appreciate you weighing in.
Great tips. A well-researched article that can help men to find their date and start a relationship. Everyone should keep the points in mind while online dating.
Great – glad you found it useful Barry – we put a lot of thought into our articles so we appreciate your kind words.
Nice article….Hope I get to improve my dating by this article…..”make sure she’s either single or divorced because “separated” means there’s still another guy in the picture ” I have same confusion about the man I am dating….
Thanks for weighing in – much appreciated!
I m a woman, hot, single, on dating apps. You cant Imagine how many men time wasters are there. Anyway I gave them 4 exchanges, if they dont ask me out or mention a date, I dont answer them anymore. My advice, if you like her, ask her out very soon, dont chat too much. If she says no, you save so much time!!! And Next!
Straight from a woman guys! Jess, thanks for weighing in and I agree, MEN can be time wasters too but https://www.doclove.com/system guys never are – they know how to be GENTLEMEN that are not afraid to ask a lady out. Again, thanks for comments!
Time wasters come in several varieties.
1. The Pen Pal. She’s looking for attention and the more the better. She juggles emails and texts now stop. As Doc mentioned, she is random as heck and never quite commits. Ask her for a date and she dances.
2. The Frequent Flyer. She goes out a lot and you get to pay. The keeps lots of guys in the queue and has a hard time keeping them straight. I’ve found these types lie often and can’t keep things straight. They say what they think you want to hear to draw you in. If you pass her test you will wish you hadn’t. There are always men buzzing around…and she will name drop often. Get out early.
3. The Wounded Soul. Has she really meet every jerk on the planet or does she crave drama – which she will create at the drop of a hat. After the third or fourth story about the aholes in her past you have a good idea where this is going. Have your “emergency” call ready,…
4. The Cheater. This is tricky for several reasons. Their profiles talk about fun fun fun. They are cheery and chatty. You will be sucked in. Early signs include being picky about the places you meet. How you know? The Cheater is looking for a high and shortly after you consummate the relationship she will often go into the guilt phase. Other signs include rarely answering the phone followed by the call back; and often being late.
Good luck guys and read the system.
Thanks for the support and reply!