ARE OLD SCHOOL VALUES AS RELEVANT AS A TYPEWRITER OR NOT?
I'm going to tell you right now - if you're into having many different "encounters" with many different partners then I'm not judging you nor telling you how to live your life but realize that this dating blog is not for you.
I teach guys how to keep Ms. Right long-term leading to marriage. I get that in the 2010's that philosophy isn't for everyone and that's cool by me. The longer I live the more I realize that the famous line from the Woody Allen movie "Hannah and Her Sisters" applies to people that think they know it all. Woody Allen's father in the movie, when posed a deep philosophical question about evil said "I don't know how the can opener works."
So, if you're totally against marriage, long-term relationships, monogamy, etc - that's your choice but if you are still into those things, you better not ignore old school values that will not only serve you in a relationship but in all areas of your life.
It's so easy to think that just because we have iPhones that we are automatically more enlightened than people wandering around in past eras. Why have integrity and protect your reputation? We can instagram instead - ugh.
By the way - the whole "open marriage" thing to me is really dumb - I get why people do it because they think they can have their cake and eat it too - but I'm here to tell you that THERE IS ALWAYS ONE PARTNER MORE INTERESTED THAN THE OTHER and there will eventually be jealousy, resentment, etc.
It just makes sense that someone is more in love and the more in love person is going to be the one harboring negative feelings even though they say it's okay. I don't see a point to getting married if you want it to be "open." You can keep it really "open" by never saying "I do" in the first place.
Below are 3 old school values that won't change and you AND the girl you decide to spend the next 40 years with better have these if you want a chance
Do what you say you'll do and don't pull any nonsense on anyone like trying to lie, cheat or steal to gain the advantage.
Basically be a stand up person and protect your reputation at all costs. We've talked about General Petraeus on the show before - what was his reputation prior to his scandal and then now?
We live in a world of instant communication - everyone can be their own journalist by pointing their HTC One at you and uploading you to YouTube - I recommend you get the book entitled "The 48 Laws of Power" because it will give you insights into human nature and why it is important you defend yourself against those that would destroy your reputation - and not in a paranoid way either - just in a common sense fashion.
Back to dating and relationships - if you cannot be the type of person and she cannot be the type of person that acts with integrity how can you build something based on mutual trust and respect? Well, the answer to that is you can't!
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This is a vital one. If she's not kind and you're not kind then it's tough for each of you to bring anything to the table because kindness shows a concern for others that allows you to look outside yourself - we are so selfish in this society in many cases.
What did I get? How are my needs going to be fulfilled? Look at all my pictures on Facebook. Check out what I had for breakfast. I'm so hurt and I'm telling my 1,321 friends about it and I hope I get over 65 likes on my post.
I get that we as people are selfish by nature - if people didn't have something in it for them nothing would get done - we'd still be running around calling each other Oog and struggling with the concept of fire.
However, in spite of all that there are some people that can overcome their natural inclination to look at the world completely as it affects them - they see the point of view of the other person and even if they don't need them, they still try to make things better for them.
I will take a "kind" cute girl over a "selfish" hot girl any day of the week for a long-term relationship - and by the way - that doesn't mean that extremely beautiful women cannot be kind nor does it mean that average women can't be selfish - I teach in my dating relationship education course named THE SYSTEM that you should get to know each woman over time and evaluate her on the merits she brings as an individual.
The bottom line is that she better be kind and YOU better be kind too - because operating always as a selfish human being is not good for long-term relationships - you just don't get anything out of always being that person grabbing for everything they can all the time - it's ultimately an empty existence even if you've managed to get all the "toys" you think you need.
I can break it down simply - she's got your back and you have her back - and you two watch out for each other as she is the most important person in your life and vice versa. You don't put her on blast in public in ANY circumstance and she doesn't do it to you. You don't talk bad about her on social media, to your friends, at work, via smoke signals, etc. and you should expect the same - everything that happens is BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU - no one else.
The loyalty that you have to your partner and the loyalty that she has to you should be unwavering and unbreakable because if it's not then there is no foundation of trust and respect and therefore no relationship
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I see from time to time on comments I read online (which amuse me) that my old school values are out-of-touch because they think since I've been doing this over 40 years how can I possibly know what's going on in the modern world?
Regular readers of this blog know that Doc Love Dot Com, Inc. has embraced everything technology has to offer on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Internet Radio and of course, my website - I LOVE TECHNOLOGY.
In spite of being able to send a 6 second video, human beings haven't changed from the time we first learned to stand on two feet - were complex, selfish, competitive creatures that have a high degree of self-interest for nothing more than survival - and if you don't understand that basic human nature hasn't changed since the days when the "wheel" was the iPhone of the society in terms of advancement then you are heading for a fall.
Remember guys, if you're going to lock yourself up with a woman for the next 40 years then she better have those old school traits I describe above - and if she does then I expect you to have them as well.
YO, YOU'RE UP!
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