Monthly Archives: October 2025

DOC'S SYSTEM WAS CREATED BASED ON THOUSANDS OF INTERVIEWS WITH WOMEN - WHAT HE LEARNED FROM WOMEN IS TAUGHT TO YOU WEEKLY HERE.

Lunches don’t mean love. Doc Love shows you how to escape the friend zone and get her number — or get out.

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Note:  The reader's question and Doc's answer are 0% AI;100% Authentic

Hey Doc,

I need your help with a woman whom I work with. We’re both about the same age, 26, and we’re both Paralegals at a large law firm. I normally don’t date my coworkers, but from the moment “Crystal” joined our law firm four months ago, she and I just seemed to hit it off.

Doc, let me give you more background: we have a lot in common; she told me she likes watching football, playing beach volleyball and I even found out that we go to the same church.

I’m also fairly sure that she has high Interest Level in me: we have been having lunch together nearly every day – either at nearby restaurants or in the company cafeteria. We also talk with each other during our coffee breaks. We spend so much time together, and she seems to have a lot of fun when we’re together.

I want to go out with her on a real date, so my question for you is: when is the right time to ask her and how do I do it? I seem to be doing well so far, but I don’t want blow it by asking her too soon or too late.

Stuck in San Diego

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Hey Mr. Stuck,

The good part is, she spends a lot of time with you. The bad part is your chances of going out on a “real date” with her are dropping fast!

First, your quasi-dates at work tell me little about Crystal’s Interest Level toward you. She could be spending time with you because she considers you a “good friend” and nothing more - a male girlfriend in a sense. On the other hand, she could have the hots for you and is wondering when you’re going to ask her out. The problem is, you have created an environment that makes it impossible to determine which possibility is the correct one.

Now, if I saw you and Miss Right eating lunch together, I could read her Interest Level in you in five minutes, but because this isn’t possible, you are going to have to do your own detective work. You need a procedure that will flush out her true romantic feelings for you, right from the start. What procedure is this? It is getting her outside of her work environment and asking for her phone number. The best time to have done this would have the first day you two had lunched together.

The main problem with your existing relationship with Crystal is that you are too much of a friend to her and not enough of a boyfriend. By spending too much time in a friendship mode with Crystal while at work, and none in a romantic mode with her away from work, you are allowing her to get too comfortable within a non-romantic arrangement. When the day finally comes when you ask her out for a real date, why should she accept? She already gets all she wants from you from nine to five, so why would she be motivated to see you again at eight o’clock at night?

But your workplace familiarity is not only unromantic; it is also anti-Challenge. And Challenge is one-third of what you have to offer a woman that will turn her on and keep her turned on.

Mr. Stuck, you must understand that women are like Internal Affairs officers - when they’re interested in a man, they love to play detective and gather all the information about him that they can: his ambitions, his likes and dislikes, where he went to school, his relationship with his mother, and especially - his past romantic relationships (“Why did they dump him?”). When you spill your guts out to a woman during her workplace interrogations, you are actually undermining one of your greatest strengths: the ability to remain mysterious - in other words, your ability to be a Challenge.

So, Mr. Stuck, you are putting the cart before the horse. Crystal should be running her background check on you during a date, not at work. Plus, you should be spoon-feeding these precious details to her. If Crystal has a good attitude, she won’t mind this mystery (plus, as a woman, she knows she’ll get everything out of you eventually!).

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Your next move, Mr. Stuck, is to wait until she asks you out for another lunch. After your meal, and just before the two of you are ready to leave the restaurant, ask, “Crystal, what is your phone number?” If you hear anything other than seven digits out of her sweet lips (like: “Why do you want it? We see each other all the time at work.”), then congratulations - you have a friend for life! On the other hand if you get her phone number, without any static, then, you’re on your way to romance heaven!

One more thing, be cautious about dating at work – you’ll have to see her every day if it doesn’t work out and there’s always the chance that she could go to HR if things go south – I’m not saying don’t pursue it but always be careful with your paycheck!

Remember guys, nothing starts until she gives you the number.