She Kissed Him And Is Now Ignoring Him??? | Doc Love - Dating Advice For Men

She Kissed Him And Is Now Ignoring Him???


(Editor's Note, this letter was written before Doc's death in August, 2020 but still relevant as Doc's principles are timeless).

From a kiss to the "let's be friends" speech, ugh...don't make the same mistakes....

Hey Doc,

I am currently on the borderline of insanity on account of a woman.

I got a job as a bouncer. One of the female bartenders – Uma -- caught my eye. When I asked someone what her status was, the answer was “Almost married. She lives with her boyfriend, so back off for your own good.” So I did. Still, I couldn’t shake my attraction, so for six months I just watched her from a distance.

About two months ago she broke up with her boyfriend. She approached me and said, “So, when are you going to ask me out?” At that point we started talking on the phone a lot. Then I asked her out and she said yes. We went dancing, but nothing happened. I went over to her place one evening for about and hour and we talked, but again, nothing happened. I began to get worried that if I didn’t get a kiss soon, there would be too much interaction at a friendly level.

Three days ago I was on duty at the club and she was partying with some friends and getting intoxicated. I had lots of chances to talk to her, but I didn’t. The reason is twofold: first, I got the feeling she wanted to be left alone, and second, I felt that she wanted to take things really slow. So I just stalled.

When I got off, I went home and wrote Uma a text message saying good night. She returned that message with an invitation to come down to the club where she currently was, but I couldn’t, so I asked if she wanted to come by my place and just say goodnight. When she did, she asked if she could sleep over because it was raining and she didn’t want to pay for a cab. I kissed her and she kissed me back. Nothing else happened.

When I texted her the next day to get together, she answered that she thought it would be better if we were just friends and dance partners, so I just said okay.

Doc, why did Uma kiss me if she didn’t like me? The only logical answer is that she did like me, but something changed. Can this be undone? I REALLY, REALLY like this girl. She has taken hold of me. I want her to give me a second chance, make her get interested in me again. That kiss is haunting me! What should I do?

Gilles - who is losing his mind

There are hundreds of videos on Doc's YouTube Channel - here are the latest ones:

9/30/2023 - He's Seeing Red Flags From Her (Dating Women Radio Show Episode 11)
10/4/2023 - How To Talk To Women Effectively (Dating Women Radio Show Episode 12)
10/7/2023 - Give Her Space To Create Attraction (Dating Women Radio Show Episode 13)
10/11/2023 - He's Only A "Friend???"(Dating Women Radio Show Episode 14) 

Hi Gilles,

The reason you’re on the borderline of insanity is because you don’t have “The System” memorized. If you did, you wouldn’t be going insane. Simple as that, my friend. My program is the key to sanity when it comes to women.

When you asked about Uma’s status, I hope you realized that the guy you talked to went right over to Uma and told her that you liked her, thereby taking away any advantage you had. That’s what the guy did behind your back. Why are you talking to other guys about your affection for a female when the three of you all know each other? Dumb, dumb, dumb. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “And you don’t know what else he told her about you.”

Hopefully when you were watching Uma from a distance for six months you made other girls laugh in front of her, and those other ladies touched your arm and put their arms around you, and Uma was able to see all of that. But did you? No – because you didn’t have my program and you didn’t know that’s what you were supposed to do.

Why were you talking on the phone a lot to Uma? Another mistake. You shouldn’t be blabbing on the phone with a girl you want to date. When she asked when you were going to ask her out, you should have asked for the home phone number right then and there, waited a week to call her, and seen if you could have changed the times when the two of you worked so you wouldn’t have to see her on the job and kill every last bit of mystery about yourself. But again, you don’t own my program, which means you’re doing everything incorrectly. As the great Doctor Freud once said, “Doing everything wrong leads to madness.”


Nothing was supposed to happen when you went out dancing with this babe. You were supposed to just go out and have a good time – it was the first date, after all. Plus, she’s coming off an engagement to another guy. And you shouldn’t be going to a woman’s house this early in the relationship. You should be dating Uma, so that was another wrong move.

It’s true that you don’t want too much interaction at a friendly level, but you don’t kiss a woman randomly, dude. You kiss her at her doorstep at the end of the second date. Again, that tactic is explained in “The System,” but you don’t know it because you don’t own it. Again, everything you did was wrong.

You might have had lots of chances to talk to Uma at your club, but the more important question is, why didn’t she talk to you? Why are you loading the guilt for this on yourself? She could have walked over to you and said hello, put her arms around you and given you a hug and then gone back to her friends to party. But she didn’t. If she wanted to be left alone, it means she has low Interest Level in you. To you Psych majors, WOMEN WITH HIGH INTEREST LEVEL DON’T WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE. I know this is very complicated, pal. That’s why you need my techniques. Uma wants to take things slow because her Interest Level is low. Remember, when Interest Level is up in the nineties, you can’t go too fast.”

Why are you texting this woman? You don’t text a woman, EVER. When she texts you, tell her “Save it for the date, honey!” So you made yet one more massive blunder. Have you read any of my materials?

Not only were you texting Uma, you had her coming over to your place for no reason. Gilles, you DATE the woman; you don’t have her drop by. You should have walked her to a cab, paid for it, and not allowed her to stay at your place. It looked like you had nothing better to do and completely destroyed CHALLENGE. Now I know for sure you never even looked at my techniques!

You shouldn’t have kissed Uma when you did. You kissed her at the wrong time. Another mistake. But here you are whining that nothing else happened. But why should it? You’re doing everything wrong, buddy. When you do everything wrong, nothing is ever going to happen.

Of course you had to accept Uma’s suggestion that you stay just friends. You did everything wrong and you turned her off. You had an opportunity, but you didn’t have my materials memorized so now you’re history.

Uma kissed you because she did like you – for the three seconds when she kissed you. After that, she didn’t like you anymore. You’re hanging everything on one kiss when you’ve given her lots of reasons to not fall in love with you.

What changed? It was all the flubs you committed. Can they be undone? No.

You might REALLY, REALLY like this girl, Gilles, but she REALLY, REALLY, REALLY doesn’t like youl. You can’t make her get interested in you again – it’s over. Never again, not if you were the last man on the face of the planet. Even then she wouldn’t pay any attention to you.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO NOW IS GET MY PROGRAM AND MEMORIZE IT. You’re going to make the exact same mistakes with the next girl because you don’t have a clue what’s going on with women.

Remember, guys: just because a girl gives you a kiss, it doesn’t mean anything.

Want Women To Look At You Differently (In A Good Way?)

Doc interviewed THOUSANDS of women - what he learned is taught to you - get THE SYSTEM/DATING DICTIONARY BELOW

About the Author