Never Had A Relationship? What Did Doc Coach Him To Do? | Doc Love - Dating Advice For Men

Never Had A Relationship? What Did Doc Coach Him To Do?

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(Editor's Note, this letter was written before Doc's death in August, 2020 but still relevant as Doc's principles are timeless).

Hey Doc,

I have gone through my entire life without ever being able to attract the attention of the opposite sex. Throughout my middle and high school years every time I got up the guts to talk to a girl I was immediately shot down, laughed at, beaten up by their large (and possibly pharmaceutically enhanced boyfriends) or asked if I had been dared to do this as some form of initiation rite by my friends or teammates. This has gone on for so long that I have hardened emotionally to the point where I now only view women as part of the procreative biological process that I will not ever participate in. I thought that by going to college things would change, but they didn’t. I have tried every possible trick of the trade posted on the net or published in a book to attract females, with no bites. I have tried understanding women as everything from a mathematical enigma to some type of exotic and rare creature, without success.

So here I am, almost 30, and still not one relationship to my credit. I own a house, a car, have a decent job, and am working on finishing my advanced college degree. I am not a good judge of myself, but I think my looks are average -- blond hair with hazel-green eyes hidden behind glasses, with a slim-to-fit build. I spend my days playing video games, modifying cars and computers, and taking camping trips to the middle of nowhere for survival training and archery practice. I am a self-taught musician and practice the martial arts. I read every book I can get my hands on, from quantum physics to the Delta Force hand-to-hand combat manual.

Should I give up or spend every dime I have to surgically enhance my appearance? Or should I blow all my money and get some high-priced escorts and pray that I don’t catch something? Should I try super- concentrated pheromones? Please don’t tell me to just be myself because that advice has only brought me pain. Thank you.

David - who doesn’t know what’s left to try

(Note, we didn't do a video last week due to the 4th of July holiday but will release one this Sunday - but if you haven't checked out the one from last week, check it out below)

Have you checked out Doc's latest FREE video?  This week's subject   is: WHY YOU HAVE TO STICK WITH NO CONTACT IF YOU WANT TO MOVE ON TO A LADY YOU DESERVE Check that video out and see what Doc had to say on the subject.

Hi David,

Just by the fact that you’re asking a girl out with her muscle-bound boyfriend standing right next to her -- so that he can beat your face to a pulp when you’re finished -- you’re telling me right off the bat, and this is not meant as a putdown, that you know absolutely nothing about women. If you did, why in the world would you try and hustle a girl who has a guy with 17 and 1/2 inch arms standing guard over her, a brute who’s going to smash your face into the wall? Like the old cowboy saying goes, “Common sense would tell you it ain’t a good idea.” The problem is that you have no common sense.

So you’re coming to me with absolutely zilch ability with women, David, which you admit in your letter. Again, this is not meant as a putdown. It’s just a fact, and we always deal with reality.

Thinking you’re never going to have a woman in your life in any way is an erroneous view, pal, and down deep you know it. I’m sure you see many couples walking around laughing and kissing and having a good time, and you have to wonder, “What happened to me?” And more importantly, “Why not me?” But you have a lot of work to do, even by comparison to a guy who gets a date once every two months or so. At least that guy’s doing a little something right. But you’re doing absolutely nothing right. You're starting from ground zero.

Now I won’t get into why you’re in this predicament in the first place because I’m not a psychiatrist. My job is to take you forward from this point, which is the end zone. You have to do everything I tell you to do in order to advance the ball up the field. You’re going to have to let me call all the plays.

Judging from your letter, David, you do a lot of very impressive stuff. But you’re going to have to do some other things that are going to be very, very uncomfortable for you at first. But this is the price you’ll have to pay to turn your situation around.

Things wouldn’t change when you went to college because you were the same dork using the same wrong techniques you used in high school. If I were at your side for a week I could tell you everything you’re doing wrong, including the way you dress, the way you walk, etc. But since that’s impossible, I can only help you through my book. And that’s the only way your impasse is going to change.

David, I believe it when you say you’ve had no bites from girls, but you haven’t studied with me yet. All the other love doctors out there give you wrong advice or, at best, half-truths, and that’s why you haven’t been successful so far. But now you’ve found me, and we’re going to change you, IF you’re willing to do a lot of hard, hard work.

You’re right that women are exotic and rare creatures. But your interpretation of their behavior has been incorrect.

Let’s look at the positive side. Your description of yourself shows that you are a very interesting guy. And you do a lot of very interesting things. Lots of women would be interested in a guy who does so many fascinating things. So you yourself are cool, dude. But what you’re doing with women, how you approach them, what you say to them, and so forth, proves that you’re out to lunch. You’d actually be better off talking to a Martian because you’re so afraid and you’ve put such a heavy trip on yourself that you’ve made yourself a loser with women for three entire decades.

Forget cosmetic surgery. It’s not your looks that are the problem – it’s what’s going on between your ears. It’s your personality that’s your downfall, my friend. You don’t know how to talk to women. You don’t know how to act with them. You score a big fat 0 in that subject. You know how to deal with guys, you can even do hand-to-hand combat with them, but when it comes to females, you’re clueless.

Getting high-priced escorts is a waste of money and you’d be going backwards. Guy, I have a super-concentrated pheromone – it’s called “The System.” 

So this is what you have to do: you have to take dance lessons and improv classes. Like my cousin Doctor Love says, “Instead of going up on the mountain and living with the squirrels, what you have to do is learn how to ballroom dance and tell jokes.” And you have to go to Toastmasters and give speeches on my principles, no matter how much it kills you. And you have to do this until you get them down and until you’re completely comfortable with them.

David, you can’t give up women, because you love them -- I know you do. Don’t be so down on yourself. I’ve turned lots of guys in your situation around, but they were willing to put in the time and effort and discipline to reshape their personalities. Because like I said before, with all your accomplishments, you’re a well-rounded guy. You’ve got a house and a job. You’ve got a lot to build on. But you’re doing everything incorrectly, and the biggest problem is you don’t have a clue how to talk to women. I will teach you that.

Everybody tells you to be yourself, but you don’t know what “yourself” is. And you certainly don’t know how to be yourself around women. If you asked a hundred people what being yourself means, you’d get a hundred different answers. Like the great Doctor Freud once said, “It’s a catch-all statement that makes no sense and gives you absolutely no help.”

Remember, guys: the key to women is “The System.”

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