A Reader Comments On Why Doc Was A Great Dating Coach | Doc Love - Dating Advice For Men

A Reader Comments On Why Doc Was A Great Dating Coach

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(Editor's Note, this letter was written before Doc's death in August, 2020 but still relevant as Doc's principles are timeless).

Hey Doc,

I’ve been your student for two years now. Your book is probably the best book I’ve ever read! It’s pretty sad how right you ALWAYS ARE...except in bizarre cases that you can’t possibly cover. I’ve come to the conclusion that some people “get” you and some don’t. I am one who DOES get you. I understand the concept of Challenge and you’ve helped me with many specifics.

The reason I’m writing to you is because I have an idea I think you should consider. I read your articles in addition to your books and there are lots of things you don’t write about, very small details that mean a lot. My idea is that you should make your books even bigger. The idea of more information is fascinating.

For example, recently in an article on DocLove.com/Blog you mentioned that “sitting in the car” is very bad when you’re on a date. I can attest from an experience I had some weeks before I read that article that you were 100% accurate! Staying in the car too long was a disaster and messed up a potential relationship. This is the kind of thing I mean, Doc.

So here are some things you should add, in my opinion. You should have a section called “CONVERSATION.” 1) Tell men what to say in conversation, what not to say, and the different “positive” topics men should discuss with women. In particular, it would be interesting to have some guidelines for how to conduct phone conversations: what to say, at what point to say it, when to get off. 2) You should also have a “HUMOR” section where you give us guys some funny, cocky things to say and comebacks for the girls, because you have a great sense of humor and many of us still need ideas in that area. 3) You can have a “RELATIONSHIP” section too (well, I know you already have one), but maybe you can go into more detail and specify how to do it, what not to do, and what a woman looks for.

Heck, maybe you can give us some tips right here, come to think of it!

I just appreciate your work so much that I want to hear more. You are doing an amazing job. All my friends have your books because I told them to buy them and they’re helping them out A LOT. You are the master of dating, and helping guys reach their goals. You’ve been through it all and I want you to give us even more guidance, because this is very valuable material.

I hope you don’t mind my request.

Moochie - who can’t get enough

Hi Moochie,

First of all, thanks for the compliment. And second, you’re absolutely right about “getting” me. Some guys can read 30 Doc Love columns of 1500 hundred words or so, not find a single sentence that they disagree with, learn a ton about the opposite sex, but still won’t commit to the program by investing in the Dating Dictionary and going for the whole enchilada. It’s simply amazing how cheap and shortsighted some men are plus there’s no excuse for not getting it – I’ve made it as easy as possible by offering it as a physical book, an immediate PDF download and even had it converted to an audio book for guys that prefer to listen instead of read.

And then there are the numskulls who read 50 articles and say to themselves “yeah, yeah, yeah, I get what Doc’s saying,” even memorize my techniques, and they still go out and pull the same stupid stunts on the battlefield of love. Like my cousin General Love says, “The only difference between a dumb soldier and a dead one is nothing.”

Certain guys need an epiphany, Mooch. They have to be smacked in the head a few hundred times by REALITY before they get hip to what’s what. They’ve got to all of a sudden say to themselves: “Hey – that’s me Doc’s talking about in his column!” These guys need to hit rock bottom like an alcoholic or dope addict before they wake up. When the pain gets to be too much, when they can’t take one more rejection from an Amber Heard look-alike, that’s when lots of guys “get” me. And as you say, it’s very sad.

But, my friend, I have to wonder where you fit in among these losers. You tell me you want more information. Well, I’m supplying it to you on a weekly basis! What do you think my column is, dude? HELLO? Earth to Moochie?

But I am glad you pointed out my warning about men sitting in the car with their dates. Because I’ve got something to add to it. I don’t want you guys driving around to six or seven different places with a date. Remember, you’re not a cabbie or chauffeur.

Here are the only three reasons you should be behind the wheel when you’re on a date: 1) To pick the girl up. 2) To drive her to wherever you’re going – dinner, dancing, the zoo or the circus. 3) To take her back to her home when the date’s over. Otherwise you’re not doing anything constructive. Like Fast Eddie Love says, “Unless you’re making out with her, you’re just sitting there in the dark with yourself.” And when you can’t read her face or body language, you don’t know what’s really going on – and you’re truly in the dark.

(By the way, I’m sorry about your disaster with your ex-girl – next time I’ll try to write my column sooner.)

Now, let’s take the topic of conversation. What are you supposed to say to a woman? First you should at least have the appearance of spontaneity, pal. You want the girl to think she’s with a live human being, not a robot who knows how to recite from memory. The general principle is, KEEP IT LIGHT AND FUNNY. STAY OFF THE HEAVY SUBJECTS. To you Psych majors; ask her what her favorite thing is to do. If she wears tattoos, say to her “What rocks your boat, baby?”

As far as the phone is concerned, the advice here is simple: STAY OFF THE DAMNED THING. You’re not supposed to be having phone or text conversations. The only thing you’re supposed to use Apple or Android phones for is asking the girl out. You’re not supposed to talk or text yourself into rejection. Moochie, are you sure you read my book?

Here’s what you do. Whenever a girl asks you a hard question about anything, go right into your Gabriel Iglesias or Chris Rock shtick. You want to come back with a snappy answer to every silly love question a babe throws at you.

One more thing on the topic of humor. Why do you think I have you studying Cary Grant movies? Didn’t he have the greatest romantic comedy writers of the 20th Century doing his scripts? Yes, I know he was popular before many of your grandparents were born but some things are timeless and Cary Grant movies are one of those things when it comes to romantic love (By the way, that advice happens to be in the Dating Dictionary. Hello again?)

Finally, yes, I’ve written volumes on the subject of relationships. But if you want more, while you’re sitting doing nothing at your pool this summer, why don’t come up with a list of what I’ve missed, dress it up nice, tell me where you want it to fit in, and if it makes my books better, I’ll cut you in for a percentage.

Guy, I appreciate what you’re saying about me and my principles, and I think it’s great that you’re helping your friends out -- it’s vitally important if we’re going to cut the divorce rate in America. But frankly, Mooch, you have a long way to go yourself. You’re only at the 50-yard line. Because many of the things you asked for help with are covered in my book and my weekly columns since January, 2000. It’s all out there, buddy. Just keep coming back; keep reading and I’ll take good care of you.

Remember, guys: if you want to land and keep Miss Right, you have a lot of work to do.

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