SOMETIMES HE FEELS LIKE THEY ARE A COUPLE - NOT GOOD!
THE SYSTEM says that WOMEN HELP YOU WHEN THEY LIKE YOU - really drive that into your thoughts because the simple phrase WOMEN HELP YOU WHEN THEY LIKE YOU can save you a lot of wasted time, money and spent feelings...
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First off, I’ve told friends about “The System” and helped them improve their Confidence by showing them the way. But I can’t seem to follow my own advice or yours in my present situation. I hope you can coach me.
I’ve known Katrina for four years. I met her through a mutual friend. She was in a long-term relationship at the time and we only hung out every few months with this common friend. But there was something in her looks, eyes and personality that always intrigued me.
Fast forward to the present. I’m living several hours away from Katrina and chat online with her once a week. Strangely, this has probably been the best way we’ve “advanced” our relationship, as we never really warmed up to one another in person.
Before the pandemic, our mutual friend got married and I invited Katrina to be my guest, since the wedding was near her city and it presented the chance to see if there might be more to this friendship. But here’s the tricky part. For about eight months or so, she’s been hanging out with a guy -- it’s never really been clear whether she’s dating him or using him for his car/apartment/money. She barely mentions him when we chat online and is rather sketchy when discussing relationships. Finally I realized that she moved to a new apartment with this guy – who also happens to be her long-term ex.
We had a great time at the wedding, my friends drooled over her, we both looked elegant and acted like a couple at times. During the drive, however, she never touched me. At the reception she did hold my hand, led me to the dance floor, and held my arm as we walked. While dancing, she gave me “those eyes,” even though it took several dances before she stopped acting nervous about it.
I never closed the deal. I didn’t kiss Katrina because I don’t know if Katrina is truly available or whether she’s taken by her “ex.” Honestly, I don’t know if he’s her driver, her date to parties, or if she’s serious about him. Like I said, Katrina intrigues me tremendously and it’s always seemed like we’ve had some unspoken connection. I’ve been trying to compare her good points with the red flags and I can’t decide if she’s worth my time.
Was playing the gentleman and not kissing her the right thing to do? Or should I go for it by asking her out, as I’m moving to her city in a few weeks?
Walt - who feels paralyzed by indecision
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DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
Thank you very much for spreading the word about my book. The reason you’re confused right now is because you’re still studying my principles and you don’t have them down pat yet. Once you do that, the answers will come to you automatically. But I’m here to coach you along the way.
It’s great that Katrina mesmerizes you. But my techniques NEVER look at the man’s Interest Level. To you Psych majors, it’s only the girl’s Interest Level that counts.
So let’s see exactly what you’ve got here. You have a long-distance relationship, which is bad. But you want to keep it kind of warm, so you chat with the girl once a week. But realistically, you’ll only have a chance with this babe when you’re living in her city or she’s living in yours. In other words, this relationship has to be built not on her words coming out of a computer screen, but when you’re there looking right at her and watching her body language. So Walt, this is the wrong way to advance your relationship. You never warmed up to each other because you never...
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