IF YOU ARE BREAKING UP AND GETTING BACK TOGETHER THEN SHE HAS LOW INTEREST LEVEL
THE SYSTEM says back and forth romances are a sign she has LOW INTEREST LEVEL - don't go back and forth with her where you break up, make up, break up, make up...UGH!
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Dating Women Podcast #238:
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I’ve known Candace for about eight years. Over all those years we’ve dated off and on. Every time we get together, things are fantastic for a month or two and then Candace shuts down emotionally and becomes very closed. Our conversations then tend to become very shallow and don’t go much beyond what happened at work that day, and then they disappear altogether. As you might imagine, this is enormously frustrating. Eventually, this leads to our breaking up. I simply can’t communicate with the girl.
Before we got back together the last time, Candace spent some time thinking things over to avoid past mistakes that led to our breaking up. However, after about four months we ended up breaking up again. This time, I was the one who initiated it. At this point I was beyond frustrated and tired of pretending that we had a real relationship.
Doc, to put it bluntly, I’m too old for this. However, there has always been some sort of deep emotional connection between Candace and me that brings us back together, but it seems like she gets afraid when things are good and then she shuts down and things go bad. At least that’s how I see it from where I stand.
Now I’m wondering if I did the right thing. I waited three weeks to contact Candace, apologized for my stupidity and tried to get her to talk to me. So far she has not responded. At this point I don’t know if this is the same cycle playing itself out and our deep connection is still there, or if it’s really over this time and I should just let her go and try to get on with my life once and for all.
What do you think, Doc? Any insight whatsoever would be greatly appreciated.
Riles - who wonders if his time has finally run out
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DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
Candace doesn’t really shut down emotionally after she’s been around you for a while. You’re rationalizing her odd behavior, which as you’d know if you’d studied my material is a major no-no. The truth of the matter is that this girl does a perfect imitation of a clam because she just gets tired of faking high Interest Level.
Know why you can’t talk to Candace? Because it takes two people to have a conversation and you have her mixed up with somebody who wants to communicate. It’s really a very simple matter, pal.
Candace’s true past mistake was that she spent time with a guy who she had only 45% Interest Level in. Remember what I’ve told you guys over and over again – when her Interest Level is in the 40s, she’ll hang around with you, but don’t make the mistake of believing that you have any kind of legitimate hold on her, because you don’t. If you’d pored over my material – and it’s my bet that after spending eight years as a human yo-yo for this girl you’ve definitely not memorized it! – you’d know that a crucial mistake men make is OVERESTIMATING the female’s Interest Level. Go back to my book and check out the section called “Interest Level” again. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “Those three pages alone will save you years of torture.”
What’s interesting is that you apparently haven’t learned anything whatsoever from all the previous times in those eight long years when you and Candace rode your break-up-and-get-together-again merry-go-round. How many times are you two...
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