HE FOUND OUT FROM THE OTHER GUY THAT HE'S NOT THE ONLY DUDE IN HER LIFE - 0 INTEGRITY
THE SYSTEM says loyalty is key - she has no loyalty or integrity - there is no reason for him to continue...
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Dating Women Podcast #236:
Why staying in your comfort zone will end up making you uncomfortable and limit your chances to find Ms. Right
HAVE YOU PLUGGED INTO YOUR FREEBIES YET?
I’ve been an avid fan of yours since I started seriously dating, but I’ve only just begun to apply your techniques after experiencing many failures.
Now here’s my problem. I’ve been dating Donna for a year. She’s gorgeous – the kind of girl a guy can’t take his eyes off, so I guess I should have known what I was up against. Well, the week of our anniversary I got a call from a guy who says that he and Donna have been dating for the past two months. I didn’t know what to think, as you might imagine. When I confronted Donna about it, she admitted they’d been communicating, and that she did it because I seemed to have less time for her and she thought I was seeing someone else. (I wasn’t.) She apologized and told me that she still wants to work on our relationship.
The guy had the nerve to call me again and said that Donna is still trying to play both sides of the fence. She swore to me when I asked her about it that she would stop talking to him. Then, at a party she threw, I showed up and the guy was there. I couldn’t believe it. Donna danced with him even though she knew I was there. I ended up talking with her mother, who confided that Donna likes both of us. According to her, her daughter wants to be with me in the long term, but she really likes hanging out with this other guy.
So right then and there I went ahead and confronted Donna and this other guy. I asked her if she is going to choose him over me and she said no. Later she told me that she has not been intimate with the guy, but the guy told me afterward that he’s gotten very romantic with her, if you catch my drift. (I know that your column is G-rated.)
Doc, who should I believe and what should I do? I’m going absolutely crazy over this.
Vic - who’s confused and heartbroken in North Carolina
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DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
I feel for you, my friend, but when something like this goes down, you have to figure one of two things is happening: either this other guy is lying through his teeth because he’s a heavy-duty blocker and wants your girl for himself, or he’s telling you the truth. It’s one or the other. Like I always tell you guys, you have to become a forensic love cop in order to successfully compete in this arena. Otherwise, like my cousin General Love says, “You don’t know which end is up, a distinct disadvantage when it comes to dealing with women.”
And if in fact you weren’t seeing some other girl, Donna is OUT. Like the Reality Factor says, “She has to be banished forever when your find out she’s fooling around with another guy on the side.” So what you say the minute she cops to being involved with him is “Donna, it was really nice knowing you,” and you walk. NOW. She’s finished. History. Because this girl has no Loyalty. She’s got no Integrity. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “How can you date the girl if you can’t turn your back on her?”
But Donna still wants to “work on your relationship.” Oh my gosh, Vic. I thought I’d heard it all, but those words are surely going to win the Womanese Of The Year Award For 2020. And, uh, by the way, there’s this bridge I’m looking to sell in Brooklyn….
The other guy called you a second time? Wow. I’m truly impressed. This dude’s got it all figured out. What’s funny – and pathetic -- is that you’ve got my book and he doesn’t! But maybe you haven’t finished reading it yet and that’s your excuse.
When Donna promised she’d stop talking to her other squeeze, you should have said...
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