BEAUTIFUL GIRL WORLD? IF SHE'S LIVING IN IT, YOU NEED TO RUN!
THE SYSTEM says that if she's living in "beautiful girl world" then it is NOT a good situation for you - find out what we mean below...
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Dating Women Podcast #217:
Is your life ruined without her? It shouldn't be!
HAVE YOU PLUGGED INTO YOUR FREEBIES YET?
I enjoy your love radio show and columns and have to tell you that “The System” was the best purchase I ever made in my life. The book really tells the truth, and I realize it more and more every day.
Now to my problem. I’ve been in a relationship with Aimee for two years. I’m 30 and she’s 36.
We’ve been living together for 11 months. She has an eight-year-old daughter from a previous marriage. Aimee has low Self-Esteem but is Flexible and a Giver about 50% of the time. Otherwise, she’s high maintenance (after all, she is a Beautiful Woman) and has no sense of humor, which is something I miss a lot in a partner. As you can imagine, she nags a lot and likes to argue.
After getting your book and reading it a couple of times, I began implementing your principles, especially Challenge, and it started to work. Aimee’s Interest Level, which was always (I think) above 50%, started to rise.
My problem is that Aimee always tries to blame someone else (mostly me) for anything and everything bad that happens to her. And boy-oh-boy, she complains and whines like a little baby.
Another problem is that she is so dependent that she thinks that every time I detach from her (even if I’m in another room) I’m doing something deceitful. For example, recently I was in the kitchen for 10 minutes preparing snacks and she was lying on the sofa watching TV. When I returned with a plate full of goodies, she asked what I was doing in there. Looking at the plate, I said, “What do you think I was doing?” She actually didn’t believe that’s all I was up to.
Doc, I know there are too many red flags, and I would like to end this relationship. Sometimes it seems to me that the main reason Aimee’s with me is because I get along great with her daughter and she wants another child. But I can’t see myself living with Aimee the rest of my life and having kids with her because whenever she’s upset or nervous about something, innocent people around her will suffer. Did I mention she’s also lazy?
So Doc, I guess what I’m asking is, what’s the best way to end this relationship? I know I’m still a wimp, but I’m working on getting myself on the right track. I just need time and freedom to practice your techniques. My main concern is the entire transition period of breaking up because Aimee and I live together. I do have an opportunity to get a job in another city about 200 miles away. That could be a good excuse to get out.
Ryan - who needs a strategy
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
You know how Bradley Cooper gets rid of them? Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “He gives ’em a nice tip.” But we won’t get into his problems now. We’re going to concentrate on you, Ryan.
So, your Aimee’s a Flexible Giver about 50% of the time? Unfortunately, what that means is that you’re absolutely miserable the other 50% of the time! Is that any way to live, Ryan? To you Psych majors, this girl should be on the cover of Cosmopolitan. That’s why she can get away with pulling the stuff she pulls. And that’s how stupid some men are.
Let me correct you on something you wrote, my friend. You don’t really mean, “Otherwise she’s high maintenance.” What you really mean is ON TOP OF IT ALL, she’s high maintenance. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “You call this a good deal?”
Now let me tell you something, and it’s really important. Way back in 1985, I incorporated CHALLENGE into “The System.” Like the immortal Sigmund Freud said, “It turned out to be the most revolutionary concept to affect dating and love in the twentieth century.” But since then, nothing -- NOTHING -- new has made it onto the Truth Triangle in the Dating Dictionary. Until just last month, when I added the element of HUMOR. Why? Because of how incredibly important a sense of HUMOR is to a loving relationship. And so it’s obvious what it means if...
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