DID HE REALLY NOT HAVE ENOUGH INSECURITIES FOR HER?
THE SYSTEM says that you really have to understand what type of girl you are dealing with - did she really blow him off because he didn't have enough insecurities? Oh, you have to read this story to believe it!
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Why text messages need to be for INFORMATION ONLY
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I’ve been seeing Lianna for a few weeks now and I’m trying to figure out what’s going on. I know I like her, and I thought her Interest Level in me was high (mid-70s), but now I’m not so sure.
I used to work with Lianna, and she began contacting me via e-mail out of the blue. She asked lots of personal questions, so I took this as a buying signal and asked to meet her after work. She agreed. We met and had a few drinks. When the bill came she offered to pay, but I insisted. She gave me a playful bump with her hip. I had her laughing all night long and kept it light. Afterwards I asked for her phone number and she gave it to me plus asked for mine. She said she wanted to go out again and gave me a hug. I felt confused, like I should have tried to kiss her.
Our next date was an Anaheim Angels baseball game. Again we had a great time. About five minutes after I got home that night Lianna called. She said she just wanted to make sure I got home okay. Then she admitted she just used the call as an excuse to see when we could go out again. To me this was a sign of very high interest, but I played it cool and told her that I was busy for the next few days and that we would talk later.
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On our third date, dinner at a nice restaurant, we were laughing and having a good time when Lianna began asking me some very personal questions. I tried to throw the questions back at her as much as I could. At one point she started telling me about some of her insecurities, and then said, “I’ve told you my insecurities, now what are yours?” I told her that when I was growing up I was insecure about my ability to play sports, but that I no longer felt that way.
She did the majority of the talking and I just asked questions that dug deeper into what she was saying, mostly about her insecurities and passions. At the end of the night I walked her up to her porch and gave her a kiss. It was a very good kiss, Doc. I said good night and went home. That’s the last time I talked to her.
I called twice a couple of days later and got her voicemail both times (I didn’t leave a message). I waited a few more days and called her again. Again I got her voicemail and didn’t leave a message. I called her last night and got her voicemail again. I decided that two weeks was enough to call and not get an answer, so I left a message. Was leaving a message a mistake? Did I somehow lower her Interest Level on the third date so that she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore, or am I missing something?
Aaron - who can’t figure out how he blew it
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
When you say you thought Lianna’s Interest Level was high, but now you’re not sure, what does it really mean? It means you jumped the gun, that’s what. Like most overeager, love-starved guys, you overrated the woman’s Interest Level. Mistake number one. And boys, it’s a big one, because it leads to all kinds of errors later on.
Let’s examine the specifics of what happened. Lianna contacted you via e-mail? Beautiful. According to Rabbi Love, “Incoming interest from a babe is the meaning of Heaven!” And it’s to your credit, Aaron that you went straight for the date without fooling around. You closed. Guys, you always have to remember to close. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “Man, it don’t mean a thing if you don’t seal the deal.” So good for you – at least up to this point.
And it was good that you insisted on paying for your first rendezvous. It shows that you’re all class, a regular Cary Grant in the making. And consider that playful hip-bump Lianna gave you a touch. Remember, though, despite all the good stuff that happened that first night, that it was just a little get-together, your short date, and your preliminary bout. Like any good fighter, you have to last 10-12 more rounds (dates) and the performance has to be perfect. And of course that’s the tricky part.
Think of it this way: when they open the gate at the rodeo, there’s a guy sitting on top of the Brahma Bull, but most of them don’t make it to eight seconds.
When she told you she wanted to go out a second time, you should have said...
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