HE NEEDS TO ENJOY THE RIDE BUT UNFORTUNATELY HE CAN'T SEE PAST HIS JEALOUSY AND ENVY
THE SYSTEM says that she wants a confident guy that has self-control and he is anything but with his jealousy and envy towards his beautiful and semi-famous wife.
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Dating Women Podcast #190:
Why giving gifts never impresses good women
HAVE YOU PLUGGED INTO YOUR FREEBIES YET?
I’m a highly intelligent, handsome (so women tell me) guy in his forties. I’m a network engineer with an extremely high IQ and I command the income to match. I also work as a first-call consultant when insight is needed on a new invention or venture in a very complex area of high technology.
I also happen to be very insecure about my relationship with my wife, Kyra (not her real name), who is stunningly beautiful and cultured. We have a two-year-old child, and she’s the mother of two teenagers from her previous marriage.
Here’s my problem. Before me, Kyra was married to a celebrity. (I won’t mention his name because you’ll know who he is.) And in fact, Kyra herself is something of a celebrity, being a successful and well-known writer in the film industry. Anyway, I have to admit that I’m quite jealous towards her, especially the attention she gets from men. I don’t feel great about being jealous, but I guess it stems from some feeling of inferiority because of her status and that of her ex-husband.
Kyra sometimes needles me about missing out on social and interpersonal communication skills because from an early age I buried myself in computers. And I have to admit that maybe it’s true. Just yesterday I noticed some jerk giving her the eye at the mall and said to her, “That guy was looking at you. He’s probably wondering what you see in someone like me.”
She also complains that my behavior is controlling and emotionally abusive and that I’m jealous of her celebrity. I do try to keep up with her whereabouts and sometimes-even worry that she might be getting involved with someone else.
At the same time Kyra claims that she really loves me and doesn’t want to violate our marriage vows. Doc, what the heck can I do about this? Can your “System” help with a problem like mine? Most average people can’t really know what it’s like to be the husband of someone who was married to a famous person – it’s hell. Every time his mug shows up on TV you think to yourself that you’ll never measure up. It’s like having your face constantly rubbed in his celebrity.
Please help! This is turning into a major problem.
Stephon - who didn’t bargain for this when he married her
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
Now let me get this straight. You’re a rich, no-name computer geek and you got to marry a B-list or semi-celebrity who was once married to a 100% real celebrity? Pal, you didn’t realize what you were taking on!
I’m sorry to hear that you’re jealous of the admiration Kyra commands from men. But hold it a minute here. She’s a Beautiful Woman, especially all dolled up in her designer outfits, isn’t she? Other men are going to look at her, right? Gee, I wonder how that happened? Uh, didn’t you happen to pick up on that fact when you two were going steady? Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “A little slow on the uptake there, aren’t you, dude?”
Your problem, Stephon, is that you don’t know how to properly view your situation. Like my Uncle Jethro Love would say, “Boy, get yourself away from that god-danged computer terminal for a few minutes and listen up!” Here’s what you should have said to yourself: “Wow! I’m going to be in the celebrity world. What a ride this is going to be! Man, what a party! I can’t wait to tell all my buddies back at the beer hall!”
In other words, you should have looked at marrying Kyra as an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for your personal growth and expansion. Maybe it would have helped you be more creative in your job, did you ever think of that? Or maybe you could have a picked up a few high-powered connections. The point is that you could and should have looked at acquiring your extraordinary wife as...
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