HE PINES FOR HIS EX-WIFE???
THE SYSTEM says that you need to put the past in the past and he should be able to do so because he's got a great new girl but he pines for his ex-wife, ugh. Read on...
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I’m writing you for some sage advice on a serious situation in my life. I have asked many of my close friends for help with this, and they all give me conflicting answers, so I thought maybe some outside advice on this issue might help.
I’ve been divorced two and half years now from Emily (we were married for seven years, no kids), and am living with a new woman, Jill, who is just great. She’s totally into me and completely different in temperament and personality from Emily.
I, on the other hand, am still deeply in love with my ex. She was the one who wanted the divorce, and hasn’t spoken with me until just this past Christmas. At that time we finally got to talk about all our past issues. There was a moment in our conversation when she began to act like the woman I fell in love with years ago, and when she confronted me with the statement that “I hated her,” I broke down and confessed that I still loved her and always would.
Well, Doc, she was completely taken off guard and blurted out that she still had deep feelings for me, but was unsure of exactly how she felt and what, if anything, to do about it. She is currently seeing someone else too, and her concern seems to be focused on the fact that I’m living with another woman presently. She says that she doesn’t believe me when I say I still love her. I think this is because she systematically tried very hard to push me away when we were getting divorced.
Doc, I still love Emily and want her back desperately. I don’t want to hurt Jill, but my heart cries out for my ex. What the heck is a guy supposed to do in this situation? Is it possible to ever go back and start all over again?
Tiger - who has watched two worlds collide
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
Your first problem is asking all of your “close friends” for advice. When it comes to love, I’M your close friend. I’m your ONLY close friend. And your old friends are your enemies. Why? Because they don’t know “The System.” So to start off, you’ve got everything back-asswards. These so-called friends of yours -- while I’m sure they have wonderful intentions -- give you confusing, conflicting answers because they’re all stupid when it comes to love. And that’s your problem, pal. I’m not the one who should be the source of “outside advice” when it comes to women -- your friends should be on the outside. Because they’re outside of reality.
So, these two flames of yours are as different as night and day. Meaning what? The only difference that’s obvious is that the babe you’re living in sin with, Jill, has 95% Interest Level in you, and the other one doesn’t. But that’s a BIG difference.
By the way, if you’re so deeply in love with your ex, what the heck are you doing misleading poor Jill? Why are you moving in with another person when you don’t care about her? Are you using her like a nurse in a convalescent home until you get well and then you’re going to hand her walking papers and break her heart? My rules say that we don’t use women. If we’re done learning from them or we don’t dig them, we don’t waste their time. Next!
Let’s move on to your main problem -- Emily, your lovely ex-wife. She was the one who...
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