SHE'S GOT TOO MANY ISSUES
THE SYSTEM says that you need a clean deal - well, as clean as you can get it. I would say that her having a psycho ex, psycho father and trust issues with men doesn't really bode well for a long-term relationship...
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I’ve read several of your articles and have to say they make more sense than half the junk I see on the Internet about relationships. Thanks for the help you’ve given to millions of other confused and bewildered men.
That said, I have a situation I have no idea how to handle. I met Morgan about three years ago and we’ve been talking off and on. I discovered three things that I deem to be significant factors about her: 1) She’s considerably older than me (about 10 years; originally I thought she was only maybe three or four years older). 2) She has a kid. 3) Her last boyfriend beat her up very badly and she said she had trouble trusting people afterwards.
When we got to know each other a little, she said, “I’m really starting to trust you.” So I asked her out and she said, “Why don’t we try being friends for now and see how that works first?”
She got very busy with parenting and other things shortly thereafter and I forgot about her and pursued other women. For the next year or so I’d run into Morgan occasionally. During one of our encounters I asked for her number again since I’d lost it, and she gave it to me. I gave her a kiss on the cheek just to test her reaction. I saw her the next night at a dance club and she was all smiles when she saw me. However, before I could ask her to dance, I went to the bathroom and when I came out, she had left.
Recently I saw Morgan at another club (she was by herself) and I was dancing with some other girls. She came over, gave me a hug, and asked for a ride home since she had car trouble. I gave her a ride and we spent the evening together. I didn’t try to kiss her because I had a cold and didn’t want to seem like a jerk. When I was going home, she said “Thanks, that was the most fun I’ve had in a long time.”
I called later in the week and asked her if she wanted to attend a social function with me. She said she was under her dad’s supervision
(she and her kid are living with him and he’s got control issues), and it was his decision. She said she’d call back but she didn’t. Two weeks later (when I’d given up on her) she left a message on my machine asking me to call her.
Doc, we get along really well, but I’m not sure if Morgan likes me, or just wants to be friends. Any ideas what I should do?
Paul - who can’t figure her out
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
Thank you very much for the compliment, and you’re right about all the junk on the Internet. And I want to tell you something about those other love doctors. If you don’t see or hear the word CHALLENGE discussed, that so-called expert is only giving you two-thirds of what’s involved in dealing with women. Everybody knows about Confidence. Everybody knows you have to have a sparkling sense of humor and be clean-cut and shine your shoes to be a hit with the girls. But most guys don’t know how to have a balanced relationship. With the man being forced into the position of being the aggressor, Challenge balances the relationship out so you don’t go overboard.
Now, let’s examine what you’ve got here with Morgan. Why are you two talking “off and on?” Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “In dating there shouldn’t be any in-betweens that leave either one of you in a state of limbo.” In other words, when a relationship flies, it flies. You ask her for the phone number, you wait a week to call her, and you go out. There’s a real process involved. There’s no “off and on.” When there’s “off and on,” you’ve got a problem right off the bat. “Off and on” is a big no-no when it comes to dating. “Off and on” means you’ve got nothing going.Next, let’s tackle your facts. Morgan’s age in itself doesn’t mean a thing. What matters is how old you are, pal. What I don’t like is the fact...
*Why you have to interrupt your pattern if you're feeling negative otherwise it can hurt you in dating and in life.
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