USE A MATCHMAKER?
THE SYSTEM says that you should pull out all the stops to find your Ms. Right but should you use an expensive matchmaker? We explore that this week...
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I don’t know if you’re aware of the new trend of men using professional matchmakers to find their mate, but I wanted your opinion on this growing phenomenon.
There was a big article on these (female) operators in a major magazine recently, and I began to wonder if maybe I should sign on and see what they could do for me. I actually fit the profile of the type of man they service – I’m Ivy League-educated, wealthy, and much too busy with my career to actually go out and hunt down dates. I’m afraid of using the Internet to find dates, because lots of those women are crazy, and amazingly enough, I haven’t had much success there anyway. Maybe women don’t care for enormously successful men.
So Doc, here’s what these matchmakers do, generally speaking. They charge exorbitant amounts of money, around 20 grand for the “initiation” fee, plus another grand for a yearly membership to get you rolling (and they expect a marriage “bonus” if it comes to that), with no guarantee of success, I might add.
But from what I’ve read, it seems that they do a good job for a guy. They work on their “intuition” to set you up on dates with the right woman and they insist on total control (in other words, you don’t have a say in who you date, you can’t even see pictures, and you have to accept the matchmaker’s choice). They run a background check on you, visit your home, and have an “image consultant” inspect your wardrobe and make you over if necessary. They strictly screen out the gold diggers and naggers from their pool of available women, who are all upscale types. In other words, they pretty much do everything for you.
They also have an interesting philosophy. They tell you that you should already be married or re-married (in the event you’re divorced), and they believe that people should stay within their “tribes” for a mate. It’s a very traditional approach and almost old-world. I suppose at this stage of my life I find that somewhat appealing.
To be honest with you, I haven’t had the best luck with women in my life, Doc, and at 40 years old I often wonder why I haven’t been able to find the right one. There is something very enticing about the idea of putting myself into a matchmaker’s hands after all the futility of trying to do it by myself.
What do you think? Should I go for it? Do you see any downside aside from the lightening of my bank account?
Cummings - who doesn’t want to be a desperado
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
Yes, I do know about these people. As a lifelong practitioner in the areas of dating and love, I make it a point to stay up on everything that’s going on out there. In fact, one of my good friends in Los Angeles laid out $5,000 for the service, in which the matchmaker guaranteed him a certain amount of dates. But my buddy didn’t do too well. When the contract was up, he came away empty-handed. But let me emphasize that this was only the experience of one guy – I’m not out to rip the entire practice.
Now let’s talk about those wacky cyberspace women. Sure, lots of gals cruising the Internet are crazy. But guess where they come from? The planet Earth -- where you happen to be standing right now. So don’t put down the Internet. Being a weirdo is not an Internet problem – it’s just a problem that some women have. The point is that you have to find a good woman, period, and there are many great ones out there. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “You gotta separate the wheat from the chaff.”
I have another surprise for you. Women do care for enormously successful men. But you Masters of the Universe have to be able to back your success up with other things – like Confidence, Self-Control, and Challenge. Without those strength qualities, I don’t care how many oil wells you own in Texas or how many skyscrapers you’ve built in New York City -- she’s going to make you miserable.Now guy, if a high-priced matchmaker can get you hitched to a good one, it’s worth every penny she takes from you — in fact, she’s underpaid. But remember my caveat...
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