SHE IS 100% RIGHT ABOUT HIM
THE SYSTEM says that if you're in a relationship with her then you shouldn't be ogling other women - including on your computer! We explore that this week...
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Dating Women Podcast #167:
A Tattoo Reveals Her True Feelings For Her Husband? YES!
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I haven’t found in your material anything related to the subject of Internet smut. I recently discovered Ben’s Internet browser to be full of photos, links, and videos of the porn variety. I was disturbed by this – especially the frequency (nightly) and volume, and considering that our romantic moments have dwindled, I consider this whole situation indicative of a double standard. I’m a rather attractive woman ready to crawl all over Ben at any time and he is more and more often “too tired” to be romantic or has to go to bed early to get up for work in the morning. Incidentally, Ben and I don’t live together.
I fessed up to Ben about finding this stuff and asked him to stop it. I see it as disrespectful and unnecessary and bordering on sick because some of the links are clearly teens. He got defensive, of course, stating that I was too rigid in my morals and that men are hardwired to be visual and that it is all harmless. He said he would stop, but I know that he hasn’t.
Could you please address this issue in your weekly advice column? I am not sure if this is a deal-breaker for me, but it is certainly causing my Interest Level in Ben to drop. The more I read about the subject of smut, the more I’m wondering if I have an addict on my hands. I don’t need a “project” to work on – I want a man. How does one shake this garbage out of a guy’s head?
Doc, Ben wouldn’t want me drooling over the Chippendales dancers – so why the double standard?
I know you don’t generally answer women’s letters, but I truly hope you answer mine. If you do, I sincerely thank you in advance.
Damara - who doesn’t think he should have it both ways
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
Hold on a second here, my sister. If your Ben were truly following my “System,” you wouldn’t be writing this letter in the first place. But I’m glad you’re reading me. So right off the bat we know that you’re one smart cookie. Ben’s a lucky guy. It sounds like he doesn’t realize it, or that he’s just plain dumb. And thanks for the plug.
Actually, I have addressed the issue you’re upset about. You’ll recall from reading my book and columns that I don’t talk about sex except for this article and there’s a reason for it – too many parents trust me to give their kids sound dating advice, for one thing, and for another, I’m not going to be like all the other love doctors out there who dwell on the seamier side of love rather than truly trying to coach men.Now let’s be rational here. There are a few different ways to view Ben’s preoccupation. Here’s...
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