IS HE PUTTING A HEAD TRIP ON HIMSELF? YES!
THE SYSTEM says that assuming that someone has preconceived notions about you is DUMB - read on...
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Dating Women Podcast #162:
It's Okay To Be Down When Things Aren't Going Right In Dating - AS LONG AS YOU DON'T STAY DOWN
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I’ve read your Dating Dictionary, become acquainted with all your principles, and been an avid follower of your columns for more than a year now. The least that I can say is that you’ve changed my life! You have completely turned me around from being a wussy, pushover, over-complimenting boyfriend to a man with a backbone. You have taught me to truly be more like a man and have the same confidence with women that I have in every other part of my life, as well as shown me what women are actually attracted to. But in my journey through your work, I don’t think you have ever really covered the following case, which happens to be mine.
It seems like all the love doctors out there always teach you how to deal with women you have JUST met or how to deal with them AFTER you’ve gotten a date. But how about the women you’ve known for a while – not the women you’ve necessarily been friends with or hung out with, but the ones you’ve not applied Doc Love’s principles towards?
Here’s my situation: I’ve worked with Aisha for just over two years. We see each other daily but sometimes don’t even chat if we’re in a quick meeting. I have never complimented her nor been a wuss around her, but it is likely that she already has a preconceived notion of who I am and who I’m likely to date. I’ve just recently become attracted to her but don’t know if it is possible to make the transition from “working acquaintance” to “boyfriend.”
I already have Aisha’s phone number and e-mail through our job, but how can I begin interacting with her so she becomes attracted to me, and how can I change her idea of who I am? Now it’s not that I have turned her off in any way, it’s more that she probably would never think I would be interested in her in the first place, and I already know from casual conversations around the office that we have slightly different tastes. From her end of things, my interest in her would be completely unexpected, to say the least!
I hope you can help me, Doc! Any tips on how to deal with this dilemma will be greatly appreciated.
Mohammad - a true believer in Doc Love
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
First of all, thanks for the compliments. It’s always nice to know that I’ve brought out the best in a fellow. I’m happy that I’ve made you more manly, and like you said, a guy can be Tyler Perry or Seth Meyers in other areas of his life, but when it comes to women, if he’s not hitting, or if he can’t figure out why they’re always dumping him, then he doesn’t really know what’s going on. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, “Men who really understand women never get rejected, because they always leave first.”
The reason all the other love doctors try and teach you how to deal with gals you’ve just met is because that happens to be the case 98% of the time. But the good part of your particular situation is that if a woman – Aisha, in your case -- has been around you for a long time and does have feelings for you, you get lot of credit built up in your account. On your first date with her you’re basically really on your third date. Why? Because you’ve been working Challenge -- unbeknownst to yourself -- by hanging back, being a mystery, even though you really paid no attention to her because you just weren’t interested at the time.
And by the way, what do you see in Aisha now that you didn’t see before, Mo? This is very curious. Where are you coming from, man? Have you figured out what it is you’re really up to here?
Now, as to your fears that Aisha might be nursing preconceived notions about you, remember that...
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