SHOULD HE ASK HER OUT - AGAIN?
THE SYSTEM says that you have one shot per girl but after turning him down SHE'S BACK and more flirty than ever - what should he do?
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Dating Women Podcast #133
133: Kezia Noble The UK’s #1 Dating and Attraction Coach SPECIAL INTERVIEW On The Dating Women Podcast
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I have something of a peculiar situation on my hands that I hope you might be able to coach me on.
I am 29 years young and met Gabriella at my church. She is 22 and an ultra-conservative Christian. I thought she might be perfect for me since she is incredibly attractive and, I thought, innocent. So after talking to her whenever I could, I asked her out, but she told me that she had just broken up with her boyfriend of two years and that it was “too soon” for her to be going out with a new guy. I was very disappointed, but what could I do?
So here’s what’s weird. It has been six full months since I asked her out, and now Gabriella has started texting me out of the blue in a flirty, playful way but she has made no counteroffer to my original invitation to go out on a date. Do you think she is genuinely interested in me or just playing some kind of head game? Should I wait for her to ask me out, or should I take this flirty texting as incoming attention and ask her out again?
Per - who doesn’t want to be rebuffed a second time
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Now let me get this straight. You’re not an owner of “The System,” but you like my writing? What sense does that make? Many guys tell me that they put my book right next to the Bible. And yet you read me and you know where I’m coming from and you still haven’t invested in The Dating Dictionary. My friend, my book covers EVERY situation that you can possibly encounter with the opposite sex. So you’re missing out on significant portions of my techniques and approaches by not having it. In fact, if you had my book, you wouldn’t have written this letter. If you know 60% about women, I’m going to give you the other 40%.
One more thing. You mention that you are dealing with an ultra-conservative Christian girl. In “The System” I talk about how it’s best to wait for a long time before becoming physically intimate with a woman. The point is that we’re also very conservative in our approach.
In my book I stress that from the ages of 18 to 22, females are not grown up. And that means that right here you have a big problem with Gabriella. If you’re 29, she should be at least 25 or 26, Per. So you’re still dealing with a kid here. And, by the way, I say the same thing about men of that age!
WHAT??? YOU didn't sign up for my free 7-day dating course yet? Did you not understand the word FREE?
But you can’t stop thinking about Gabriella because she’s incredibly attractive and therefore perfect. Hey, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “If she’s incredibly attractive, she’s perfect for every guy!” And what do you mean you thought she was innocent? Do you mean as opposed to guilty of something? Think about it, dude. This is a complete stranger here and you’re talking about her innocence? You don’t know a thing about her!
So Gabriella told you it was too soon to go out with you because she just broke up with her boyfriend. Let me explain something to you. When you ask a girl for her phone number – something that’s talked about at least 50 times in “The System” – she either gives you seven digits, or she gives you a story. Gabriella gave you a story. She didn’t give you the digits. And since the rule is that INTEREST LEVEL CUTS EVERYTHING, you’re out.
What happened here was not at all logical when you give it a little thought. Gabriella had a boyfriend for two years, pal. It means she likes going with a guy and she likes having a boyfriend -- but she doesn’t want you to be her boyfriend or even give you the possibility of being her boyfriend. So think about it: what’s the big deal with one date? She couldn’t motivate herself to do even that? Plus she knows you from church, so she figures you have to be a good guy, right? And she still didn’t give you her number!
There’s nothing you can do, Per. To you Psych majors, when a girl says no, it’s over.
That said, when Gabriella started flirting with you, you should have just asked her out again. It takes all of one minute to do that. So just call her up and say “Let’s go out for pizza next Thursday.” If she says no again, at least you’ll know the truth once and for all, even though the strict rule is that after you ask once and she says no, it’s nothing but a waste of time. But again, in this situation it will take all of one minute to get it over with. If you ask, she might even say yes.
These articles give you a lot but there are key elements that you're missing if you don't have my book so if you really want to be successful with women you need THE SYSTEM. Still not convinced? Read my "YOU CHANGED MY LIFE" letters.
No, don’t wait for Gabriella to ask you out because she’s not going to do it. But at least she’s flirting with you by text. So act like nothing happened, and ask her out for something to eat. If she says no, you’ll know for certain what the score is. Meanwhile you should be hustling other women for their phone numbers, Per.
Remember, guys: you get one shot per girl per lifetime.