"HOOKING UP" MEANS NOTHING!
THE SYSTEM says that if you want a woman to fall and stay in love with you then you need to bring more to the table than just "hooking up" with her as our reader found out...
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I’m 21 and in college. Last semester I moved into a new dorm, down the hall from this gorgeous girl named Rose. I didn’t know her name, but I would see her out at bars all the time. Whenever we saw each other, I gave her a hug, said “Hi” and walked away. She was so hot that I thought she was out of my league and I was embarrassed that I didn’t know her name. I think she must have thought that I was uninterested, because she always looked a little hurt.
One night I saw Rose at a party and she came on to me hard. We had a very romantic night physically, and I saw her again the next weekend. For the next month, we were basically just bedroom buddies. I’d call her around 11, and she’d walk down the hall to my room.
Unfortunately, my feelings took over; I really fell for her and we started hanging out much more. For the next two months, we were basically boyfriend and girlfriend, though it was nothing official. She told me she thought I was a “mystery,” and that’s why she liked me.
Anyway, she eventually took a trip to Australia with her family, and when she returned, things were completely different. When I called her, she always had an excuse why we couldn’t hang out. Eventually, it got so bad that I felt hurt, so I stopped calling and acted like jerk whenever I saw her.
Eventually I confronted Rose and she told me she just wanted to slow down, and that she wasn’t looking for a relationship. In the past month we haven’t gone out at all. I really like this girl, and I am really confused as to why it fell apart. I feel like she lost interest as soon as I was not a Challenge anymore. The problem is, I can be a Challenge to someone I don’t know, but if I like a girl it’s impossible for me to tell her that I don’t want to hang out.
Did Rose just want a casual hook-up, or did I do something wrong?
Engelbert - who somehow messed it up
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER IN A SECOND BUT FIRST...
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I see that you don’t have my book because you made a HUGE mistake straight out of the gate. When you start by getting physical with a girl right away, YOU CANNOT SEE RED FLAGS, AND IT ARTIFICIALLY RAISES YOUR INTEREST LEVEL. As a consequence, you start doing and saying things that you wouldn’t normally if you weren’t physically intimate with the girl. Dude, you have to get to know the girl first before getting physical.
Another problem is that you’re only 21 years old. I would have to assume that Rose is between 18 and 22 since she’s in college with you. In my book I point out that the divorce and breakup rates for girls of that age is the highest in the country because they are simply not grown up.
WHAT??? YOU didn't sign up for my free 7-day dating course yet? Did you not understand the word FREE?
So you and Rose were bedroom buddies and you weren’t even dating her. All of this happened much too fast. Also, Rose was living too close to you. You should have been seeing her once a week, if that. She liked you at first because you were a mystery, but you’re not a mystery anymore because you were too available, and instead of dating her, you just told her to come on down the hall and hang out with you. All more big mistakes.
Then it got to the point where you couldn’t deal with her rejection of you. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “You should NEVER act like a jerk with a girl, whether she loves you or she dumps you.” Ever. Now I know you don’t have my book, guy.
When Rose told you that she just wanted to slow down and that she wasn’t looking for a relationship, it meant you were OUT forever. Her words were WOMANESE – which is the last chapter in my book – for you’re FINISHED and there’s no going back.
These articles give you a lot but there are key elements that you're missing if you don't have my book so if you really want to be successful with women you need THE SYSTEM. Still not convinced? Read my "YOU CHANGED MY LIFE" letters.
Why did this thing fall apart? You said it best, my friend – you weren’t a Challenge. Plus, you were too available, you wore your feelings on your sleeve, and you didn’t have my book so you didn’t know how to control yourself. When you said “I feel like she lost interest as soon as I was not a Challenge anymore,” you hit it right on the head.
Dude, if you like a girl, it’s not at all impossible to tell her you don’t want to see her. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “If I gave you ten thousand bucks to tell her, you’d do it, wouldn’t you?” The issue is that you would have to learn to control your tongue and you don’t know how to do that.
Let me explain something to you, Engelbert. When you’re interested in the girl, that’s when it really counts to be a Challenge. To you Psych majors, any guy can be a Challenge when he’s not interested or doesn’t know the girl, but being a Challenge when you have strong feelings is when it really means something. And that’s why you have to memorize my materials.
Yes, it was you who did something wrong, Engelbert. You were simply too available.
Remember, guys: if you don’t have “The System” you’ll repeat your mistakes from girl to girl.