SHE LIKED HIM BUT HE DID EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER TO BLOW IT!
THE SYSTEM says that if a girl likes you and you're getting incoming then you should be in a really good position but since this guy doesn't know what he's doing he snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Don't let this happen to you!
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We will not do a show or articles on 5/2/18 and then back to normal on 5/9/18. Your other article for this week deals with a guy that thinks he's too old and broke to date - see why we think he's wrong here.
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Dating Women Podcast #130
130: When Dating Women You Can Learn A Lot From Ultra Successful People That Failed A Lot Before Succeeding
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READER'S QUESTION
Hey Doc,
I work many hours a week and I don’t get out much. So on the rare occasion my buddies and I do go out, we plan on having the best time.
Anyway, a couple of weekends ago I ran into one of my buddies while he was out with his girlfriend and some of her girlfriends. He told me that one of the friends, Amanda, was asking about me and wanted to meet me. They all eventually migrated over to my table. Amanda and I began talking and she gave me her number. Later that night we ran into each other again at another club and we kissed. It was just the night I needed.
Fast forward four days. I texted Amanda for a date. The date went well and we ended up having a very physically romantic night. The same thing happened the next two weekends. I called her up and we went out and had a good time again. Everything seemed to be going well. I didn’t want to chase too much, so I backed off and waited to see if Amanda would reach out to me. She did after five days and said she missed me. So we made a date. It was a special date because it was my birthday, and she knew this. However, the day before our date she canceled on me. She was going out of town with her girlfriends. (In other words, she found something better to do, apparently.) So I told her “Okay, some other time then.”
On my birthday Amanda texted me a sweet birthday message. But I just wasn’t feeling it. So the next day I just texted her back thanks, nothing more. In retrospect maybe I shouldn’t have been so short with her and instead acted as if her actions didn’t bother me at all. But hey, I am human and they did.
Amanda and I haven’t talked since. That was almost two weeks ago. Did I handle this okay? What do you think, Doc?
Alfred - who feels like he got bounced
Note, this week you get double the articles and double the show - and the Dating Women Radio Show starts at 4:00 p.m. PDT / 7:00 p.m. EDT - an hour early - because the show will air for TWO HOURS (4/25/18).
We will not do a show or articles on 5/2/18 and then back to normal on 5/9/18. Your other article for this week deals with a guy that thinks he's too old and broke to date - see why we think he's wrong here.
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER IN A SECOND BUT FIRST...
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Hi Alfred,
First of all, Amanda showed from the get-go that she was interested in you. She asked about you, and not vice-versa. She had to have at least 65% Interest Level in you for her to have done this. This is a gift, pal.
But you made a big mistake by kissing her the night you met. Way, way too fast, guy! I can see that you don’t have “The System.” To you Psych majors, the longer you wait to get physical, the better off you are. You’re supposed to kiss the girl on the mouth on the second date. And you just happened to bump into her again that first night and right away you were kissing her. Much, much too fast! Like my Cousin Rabbi Love says, “You’re supposed to find out what’s going on between the girl’s ears first and forget about the physical stuff until later.”
WHAT??? YOU didn't sign up for my free 7-day dating course yet? Did you not understand the word FREE?
Your second mistake was having a physically romantic night on your first date. You’re supposed to get to know the girl, my friend. What happens when you get physical with a girl is that it raises your Interest Level artificially, and you don’t see Red Flags as clearly. That’s the problem here. The relationship becomes based on the physical rather than the mental, and you have to establish the mental first. In other words, get to know her before anything else happens. You can always kiss her a year from now. But you don’t want to do it straight out of the gate. Again, it’s too much too soon. But since you don’t have my book, you don’t understand any of this, Alfred.
Now, when Amanda said she missed you, that was your SECOND buying signal. So now her Interest Level has gone up to 70%. And that means you’re doing something right, Alfred. But it was a mistake to make a date with her on your birthday. An important occasion like your birthday you only celebrate with your girlfriend. Your birthday wasn’t a big deal to Amanda because she’s not your girlfriend. Since you don’t have my book, you don’t understand that, either.
Note, this week you get double the articles and double the show - and the Dating Women Radio Show starts at 4:00 p.m. PDT / 7:00 p.m. EDT - an hour early - because the show will air for TWO HOURS (4/25/18).
We will not do a show or articles on 5/2/18 and then back to normal on 5/9/18. Your other article for this week deals with a guy that thinks he's too old and broke to date - see why we think he's wrong here.
Amanda didn’t find something better to do on your birthday, Alfred. This girl doesn’t know you. You’re not her boyfriend. Add the fact that you got physical with her and your interest in this girl went way too high. You should have just said you were really sorry she couldn’t make it, have a good time with your girlfriends and when you get back we’ll get together again. You should have kept it light and funny. But like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “You pouted like a little boy who didn’t get his way.”
These articles give you a lot but there are key elements that you're missing if you don't have
my book
so if you really want to be successful with women you need THE SYSTEM. Still not convinced? Read my "YOU CHANGED MY LIFE" letters.
hen Amanda sent you a sweet birthday message – the third thing that indicated that her interest in you was rising. This girl is coming at you and because you don’t have “The System” you’re not able to judge her true Interest Level.
But you say you’re not feeling it. Dude, it doesn’t matter what you feel. You can feel bad all you want, as long as you don’t use your tongue to verbalize it to her. To her, you should come off as if nothing gets to you, and that everything is positive and you’re just a funny, lighthearted guy.
Instead of just saying thanks to Amanda, you should have waited five or six days and asked her out and acted like nothing whatsoever happened. To use your own words, you shouldn’t have been so short with her and instead acted as if her actions didn’t bother you at all. You hit it right on the head there.
Again, you can have bad feelings about what a girl does to you – but don’t let her know it by talking about it or showing it. When you say you’re human and make mistakes, you’re rationalizing. Students of “The System” don’t make mistakes. And you’re making lots of mistakes, buddy.
Alfred, you handled this terribly. Once again, you should have called Amanda up and asked her out and acted like nothing happened.
Remember, guys: when a girl gives you buying signals, don’t pout if she doesn’t do exactly what you want.