Accused Her Of Lying??? | Doc Love - Dating Advice For Men

Dating Women Advice: Does Chris Pine Ever Have Trouble Getting A Girl To Meet Him?


If you're trying to meet a woman for the first time I don't think accusing her of being a liar is really the best approach - however for the guy below he thought it was a good idea since he wasn't thinking!  Check out the article below and...

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Dating Women Podcast #83 & 84

Your article is right below this but first on this week's podcasts we give you:

*83:  Was the fact that he was married before turn her off or was it something else?

*84:  DON'T give too much attention to women - especially early on



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Hey Doc,

I live in India, and three months ago I met Kari on the Internet. She lives in Indonesia and we became Facebook friends. I am very attracted to her and want to date her. After a few cancelled plans, it turned out that she was coming to India for her job for several days.

A week before Kari was scheduled to arrive, I messaged her and asked if she would be coming to my house, but she told me her boss canceled the trip. I replied in a playful, polite manner that maybe she was really coming but wanted to avoid meeting me. A few hours later I got a message from her that her boss changed plans again, and that he’d now decided to send her to India for real.

I got upset and accused Kari of lying to me because maybe she didn’t want to really meet up with me. She then got a bit upset with the way I reacted. However, I managed to cool things off and got her to think that there was a communication gap between us since her English language proficiency isn’t that great. She went back to being chatty again and telling me her schedule, etc.

When Kari arrived at her hotel she messaged me and told me all about her trip. I gave her my number and told her to contact me when she was free so that we could schedule where and when to meet. So far, nothing. I’m acting cool and not pressing her for when she will be free because I understand that I will sound needy and destroy any attraction she already has for me if I do.

Doc, any tips as to how to take this further? If Kari does not meet me while she is here in India and goes back to Indonesia a week later, should I still keep her on my Facebook friend list or delete her and forget about her completely?

Deepak - who is desperate to meet her

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Hi Deepak,

First of all, why are you becoming friends with a female who lives so far away from you? It’s obvious you don’t have “The System” because you would know that LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS DON’T WORK. You should be hustling phone numbers from girls in India who live within 30 to 35 miles or less of you. That’s what you’re supposed to do. To you Psych majors, trying to get some type of relationship going with a girl from another country is a BIG, FAT WASTE OF TIME. Not to mention that you’re in a fantasy world with this girl since you’ve never even seen her in person.

And why are you asking Kari to come to your house before you’ve even met her? Deepak, you don’t do that. You meet her at a public place first. Then you accused her of not wanting to really meet you. Why are you putting her down? Why are you attacking someone you’ve never even met? Why are you calling her a liar? That’s not how you build rapport with a girl, my friend. What do I say in “The System?” NO NEGATIVES AND NO PUT-DOWNS. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “You’re clueless, my son.” We are talking about basic social skills here and you seem to be devoid of them.

Then you accused a girl that you want to date of being a liar a second time. Hey, Kari should be upset with the way you reacted! You haven’t even met her and you don’t know the circumstances of her life at all. Here you’re trying to get a girl to like you and you call her a liar twice? You think this is the way to build a true, loving, romantic relationship? Then you went and insulted her yet again by telling her that she didn’t know English!

Instead of telling Kari to contact you to make arrangements to get together, you should have made a date with her and then let her back off if it didn’t fit her schedule. If you had talked to her on the phone and made a date, you could have met her for dinner after work since she’s working eight to five.

Now you’ve not heard from Kari since. What a surprise! Guy, after putting Kari down twice, why would there be something? Of course you don’t want to sound needy with a girl, but it’s okay to call her a liar? Duh!

How can you take this further? YOU HAVE TO GET “THE SYSTEM” ASAP! And Deepak, it’s mandatory that you learn some social skills. You have to learn not to put down people you don’t even know. Dude, it’s not that you don’t know how to get along with women, you don’t even know how to get along with people. So there’s an enormous amount you need to learn.

You should delete Kari and forget about her permanently because A) she lives in another country, and B) you’ve already hurt her feelings twice by calling her a liar and putting her down. Even if she was Indian and lived five blocks from you, after the first date she would never want to see you again!

Remember, guys: if you want to get her to like you, keep it light, keep it funny, no heavy subjects, and no put-downs.


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