CAN YOU GIVE HER TOO MUCH???
He gave his wife the world and what he got back was MORE disrespect and less attention - don't make the same mistake - read the article below and...
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Dating Women Podcast Episode 58
Your article is right below this but first on this week's podcast we give you:
*The entire show from January 4, 2017 - over an hour of audio - enjoy!
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I am 31 and read your column every week in search of some answer to my dilemma, but I never seem to find it.
I love Emma, my wife, with all my heart. I believe she is the most beautiful woman in the world. I have told her that since the day we met, nine years ago, and repeat it often both in and out of the bedroom. I make sure other people know how I feel about my wife, as well.
I make a great deal of money. I treat Emma to flowers, special gifts, and dinners out on Friday and Saturday nights every weekend at the best restaurants. I do the laundry, clean the house, take care of the kids and pay every bill -- hers and mine -- while working 65 hours a week with no more than four hours of sleep a night.
My problem is that I do not feel appreciated. Emma always wants more, and for some reason I’ve fallen into the pattern of giving it to her. Please don’t tell me to discuss my feelings with Emma, because I have. We just end up arguing because she thinks I’m belittling her for wanting to hear “Thank you” and especially “I love you.”
We rarely make love anymore, Doc. But I make sure that when we do, it is memorable for her, which is part of the same pattern. But I have to admit that it’s more important to me than my own fulfillment. My excitement is in pleasing Emma.
Any thought on how I can change this pattern of trying to do too much for Emma for such a small return? I am feeling tired of being unappreciated.
LeGarette - who is feeling worn down
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DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
The reason you haven’t found the answer you’ve been looking for is because you don’t have “The System.” You have to realize that I don’t give away the whole store in my columns, pal. You must get my book and you must MEMORIZE it in order to unlock and get the most out of all of its powerful secrets. You’ve not done it, LeGarette. If you had my book before you married Emma, you wouldn’t be in this miserable position right now. Too bad for you.
Why are you talking to other people about your feelings for your wife? That has nothing to do with anything, my friend.
After listening to you recount everything you do for Emma, it’s easy to see that you’re doing much too much for her. And rather than cut down on the amount of what you’re doing for her, you have the senseless habit of adding to it. That’s your problem. You’ve spoiled Emma beyond any sense of reason.
When you lay all of this mush on Emma, does she lay it back on you? Guy, when you tell someone how Beautiful she is and she doesn’t say thank you, you have to STOP telling her how Beautiful she is. When you take her out to a nice place and she’s ungrateful, don’t take her out anymore. So you’re not cutting down and cutting back, LeGarette. And you’re not because you don’t have “The System” and therefore don’t know what to do in this situation.
The fact is that Emma DOESN’T appreciate you. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “She looks at you as nothing but a stooge.” You’re just a butler, man. All you do is give, give, give, give, and she does nothing for you in return. She doesn’t even say thank you. And what do you do? You give more! Where are you coming from, pal? Where is your self-respect?
The reason you’ve fallen into a pattern of incessant giving to Emma is because you have no backbone. With “The System,” you learn to grow a backbone. My book also teaches you the difference between a Giver and a Taker, and this woman is a TAKER. All she does is TAKE TAKE TAKE, and it’s never enough and she can’t even say thanks.
Why are you discussing your feelings with Emma? You never discuss your feelings with a woman. That’s another big mistake you’re making. You’ve tried begging Emma, but begging doesn’t work. So what do you do – beg more! To you Psych majors, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different result. Dude, you need “The System” ASAP!
So, Emma thinks you’re belittling her because you want a little gratitude. How dare you ask for a thank you, LeGarette? What are you, some kind of jerk?
Your excitement might be in pleasing Emma, but you’re trying to please her way too much. Like my cousin General Love says, “You’ve gone overboard.” You’ve spoiled this woman, and now she expects everything from you. Worse, when you spoil a woman, she will fall out of love with you.
How do you change this pattern? CUT DOWN ON EVERYTHING YOU DO FOR HER. Take her out just once a week. Never tell her you love her again because she doesn’t treat you in a loving manner. If I were you, I would be pleasant and fun, but as far as giving Emma anything, I’d cut out 90% of it. Again, you’re coming across as a stooge – a guy who gives and gives and gives and gets nothing in return. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “You might as well just be a slave.” Because that’s really all you are.
One more thing. You make lots of money, but you can’t afford $99 for a book worth 20K in wisdom? I don’t think you’re very smart, LeGarette.
Remember, guys: anytime a woman doesn’t thank you, cut out all the giving – period.
I may have been able to find her, but I never would have been able to KEEP her without you, Jeff, and the "System."
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