HE DIDN'T ASK FOR HER # BUT SHOULD HE STILL CALL HER OR IS THAT A BIG MISTAKE?
He's got her digits but never officially asked for them - should he still call for a date or not - find out why below
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I recently discovered your columns. I have to say that you really know what you’re talking about. I’ve never been in a relationship since I was busy in school. I would like to ask your opinion on something that’s been bothering me for quite some time.
I met Faith at the company where I work. She is 21 years young (same age as me) and Beautiful and she was applying for an internship. I was interested in her; however, the time, work setting, the people I report to, and the nature of my tasks compelled me to act professionally and not fool around trying to get a date. The strict personnel manager makes occasional visits to the recruitment center where I am stationed. That also prevented me from goofing around.
Anyway, the recruitment exams that Faith had to take in order to become an intern were under my supervision. Of course I didn’t tell her about my feelings towards her when I gave her the exam. She passed, and I told her to come back a week later for her final interview.
She came back dressed in business attire as encouraged by the company. She was tense at first, but I was able to make her laugh. After she left, I looked at her personal information. I wrote down her phone number and email address but I would not dare contact her since I did not ask her directly for them. There were other female applicants around at the time she was in the testing area which made me nervous about asking her for her number.
A few days later when she was on the job in a different department I went to the break room. Faith was also there. I talked to her again but only for a few minutes since I had to go back to my work area, but I was able to make her laugh again. But I froze up when it came to asking for her number. After that, I never saw her again. In fact she has been moved from the day shift to the night shift, making it impossible for me to be in contact with her at all.
Doc, I still have Faith’s number and email but it has been more than a month since I last saw her and I still would not dare contact her because it would make me look like a stalker. I’m not hoping for much in this situation, but I’d like some coaching on how to handle it.
Alberto - who is new to your techniques
Give me 7 days to get you better with women - interested?
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DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
If something has been bothering you for such long time, why haven’t you invested in “The System” and tried to get the problem solved? Apparently it didn’t bother you enough. And you’re admitting that you’ve never been in a relationship, so you have no experience at all in that area. Guy, you’re not trained for a relationship at all.
Alberto, you NEVER tell a woman your feelings. No offense, my friend, and I’m not trying to drive the bus over you here, but when you wrote that sentence – that you failed to show Faith your feelings – it showed me that you know absolutely NOTHING about women. The woman should be talking about her feelings towards you, not vice-versa. To you Psych majors, what you’re going to do is show her your feelings by actions, not by verbalizing them.
Why did you write down Faith’s phone number and email address if you didn’t ask her for them? And like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “If I had given you ten thousand dollars, would you have asked her then?” Of course you would! The number one thing you learn with “The System” is to ASK FOR HER NUMBER, and you’re dodging all around it, pal. To boot, you want to talk about your feelings to a girl who you work with and have never been out with and you don’t even know if she likes you. Hello-o? Again, you have no clue what’s going on with the opposite sex.
Then you ran into Faith in the break room and made her laugh a second time – but again didn’t ask for her number. Why do you say that you wouldn’t ...
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