Chasing For Weeks... | Doc Love - Dating Advice For Men

Dating Women Advice: Did Eva Mendes Ever Turn Her Head When She Ran Into Ryan Gosling?


He's been chasing her for weeks but can't get anywhere.  Guess what?  He won't get anywhere!  Read more below...and....

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Dating Women Podcast Episode 45

Your article is right below this but first on this week's podcast we give you:

*How can Toastmasters help you get a ton of numbers?
*Why you need to force yourself to ask for the number

Hit the "listen now" link below to get this show and connect to all of my podcasts (growing weekly!)

PS - if you want even more audio - listen to our weekly Dating Women Radio Show (Wednesdays at 5:00 p.m. PT / 8:00 p.m. ET)


Hey Doc,

I’m a first year university student who is a faithful reader of your columns. Keira is 22 and in two of my classes. I see her maybe three or four times a week, but we don’t have much time to talk to one another as we have to focus on the class lectures. The only time I can chat with her is during a lab where she is my partner.

I eventually got Keira’s number and email address but she would never pick up my phone calls and would only reply sometimes to my texts and some of my emails. According to her she spends all of her time studying or going to the gym. We met once on a Friday to discuss classwork and that’s it. When I once made plans to see her for a date outside of class, she didn’t show. At our next lab I didn’t ask her about it on the advice of some friends, though one said I’d been friend-zoned, which was ridiculous because I’ve only known Keira for about three weeks. But I haven’t dismissed the possibility that I’ve been friend-zoned. That said, we had our normal good time talking in lab.

A few days later I went to the gym, not expecting to see Keira as our schedules are very different but she was there. Our eyes met when she was leaving, but she didn’t mutter a single word, and quickly turned her head, which confused me.

Even now I cannot get my mind off Keira because I’m so attracted to her. I have no idea what to do in order to get a date with her. I was thinking of buying your book when I have the money. What do you think, Doc? Should I hold on and be a Challenge or move on?

Bones - a confused rookie

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Hi Bones,

You read my columns, but you don’t have my book, and now you’re asking me a question, which basically makes no sense. Here’s the problem: with my columns you’re only getting part of “The System.” To get the whole enchilada you have to invest in the book, otherwise you’re going to continue making mistakes over and over with women.

Now, when you see Keira, are you making her laugh? Is she asking you personal questions about yourself? No! These are just some of the elements you’re missing when you don’t have my book at your disposal. In other words, you simply don’t know enough about women to navigate any type of relationship.

If Keira doesn’t answer your phone calls, right there you’re history, Bones. This babe has absolutely no Interest Level in you. When she says she spends all of her time studying or in the gym, she’s indirectly telling you that she has no time for you or interest whatsoever in you. However, if you were the right guy, she would have gotten right back to you. To you Psych majors, when she doesn’t pick up the phone and return your call, you’re OUT.

And when Keira didn’t show up to meet you outside of class when you had it all arranged, it was a BROKEN DATE, which you would know if you’d read my book is a big RED FLAG. My friend, she gave you her word and she didn’t show up. You have the problem most men have: you have high Interest Level and you project it onto the woman. Of course when this happens, you can’t see straight. And the other reason you can’t see straight is that you haven’t memorized my materials, which puts you at an enormous disadvantage when you are dealing with the opposite sex.

You shouldn’t be talking to friends about Keira. You’re supposed to be talking to ME -- ONLY. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Your friends are going to go behind your back and they’ll start talking to your girl about what a loser you are.”

Three weeks is all it takes to get friend-zoned, pal. But being friend-zoned doesn’t really have anything to do with the amount of time you and Keira have known each other. It’s solely a matter of Keira not having any physical attraction to you. That’s why – and only why -- you’re in the friend zone. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “You have everything back asswards, boy.”

Let me explain something to you, guy. What Keira is doing is NOT confusing at all. She’s been consistent in her behavior towards you from the beginning. She has ZERO Interest Level in you and all of her actions have screamed exactly that. Everything she’s said and done has demonstrated beyond the shadow of any doubt that she does not care for you in a romantic way. So why are you confused over this? When a woman is consistent, you shouldn’t be confused.

Now let me get this straight. You’re only thinking about getting my book in the confused state that you’re in? So you’re spending 50 grand a year on college and you can’t afford $99 to make sure you don’t lose everything you have in a divorce settlement somewhere down the road? What sense does that make?

Should you move on? Dude, there’s nothing to move on from. You were never anywhere with Keira to begin with. Second, you can’t be a Challenge to her. Challenge only works when the woman has some Interest Level in you, and Keira has ZERO interest in you.

Remember, guys: just because you like her doesn’t mean she likes you back.


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