WHAT'S THE 411 ON THIS ARTICLE?
Outside of cheating on her, smoking weed all the time and being broke he's the BOYFRIEND OF THE YEAR (umm, not so much). The best part? He's surprised by her plummeting INTEREST LEVEL...
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I’ve been dating Julia for four months. I’m 28, and she’s 22 and has one child.
I don’t have my own place or my own car but she does. On one of our dates I said I was going to run out on the bill (playfully, of course) and she got upset and tweeted with other people while we were eating. As time went on Julia took care of me until I got a job and got on my feet. However, I made a mistake and cheated on her and then proceeded to lie about it, which she found out. She broke up with me but I begged her to take me back and she did. I admitted my mistake and did my best to try and correct it. I told her and everyone I know that I wanted to marry her.
After my affair Julia became very resentful towards me and sent a lot of verbal putdowns my way via twitter. She called me a phony, disloyal, and said that I was not a good provider. She also said I don’t have a personality. One of her tweets read “I’ve been talking to a brick wall for two months now.”
Julia is still with me, although things blow hot and cold. The other night we went to a club for my birthday party and although she came with me, one of her guy friends was there and she went back and forth between us the entire night. I was drunk and she was too, so I pulled her onto my lap but she didn’t wrap her arms around me. She did smile a lot and was very talkative though, so I took that as a positive sign.
Julia threatens to leave me when I don’t do what she wants and I inevitably give in most of the time. I also found out that she gives out her number to guys but she does tell them that she has a boyfriend and that she can only give it to them on a “just friends” basis. She tweets things like “if you’re over 25 and you don’t have your own place and car and job it’s time for you to put the weed down and work.” It seems to be a veiled message to me. She also hates the fact that I smoke marijuana, something she knew from the get-go.
Doc, Julia always accepts my offers for dates, but sometimes I feel like the only way she’ll stay with me is if I pay. I really love this girl and don’t want to be judgmental of her because I’ve made mistakes too. She’s still with me, so I assume she still loves me. Could you tell me if this relationship is repairable?
Justin - who’s feeling worn down
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DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
First of all, Julia at 22 is way too young for you. At your age, you should be dating someone at least 25 years young. Something else: where is the father of Julia’s child? Does he pay child support? Is he involved in the child’s life at all? Does he come around and pick the child up when you’re on dates with Julia?
Okay, so you don’t have your own place or car. In other words, you’re BROKE. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “You can’t date women when you’re broke.” And you’re broke, dude.
So you kidded Julia about being a thief, and she went and told the whole world. Classy lady you’ve got here, Justin! On the other hand, it was nice of her to hang around and take care of you until you got a job. It shows that she’s a Giver, especially with all the crap she has to put up with from you. So that’s a positive thing.
Now let me get this straight – you have a woman who’s feeding you and putting a roof over your head and then you go to bed with another woman? Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Man, you’re a classless guy!” Listen, Justin, telling the entire world that you want to marry a babe doesn’t get you off the hook from cheating on her, especially when Julia is feeding you and has put a roof over your head.
Then she went and called you all kinds of names: phony, disloyal and a lousy provider. The problem is that she’s...
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