WHAT'S THE 411 ON THIS ARTICLE?
She is CONSISTENT with her INCONSISTENT behavior towards him. What does that mean?
LOW INTEREST LEVEL!
I met Kara at work. She’s 22 and was assigned to my team (I’m the leader) for some projects. I thought she was cute, but not what I would typically go for, so my interest was not that high and it was easy to be a Challenge. From the beginning Kara would laugh at all my jokes and could not stop giggling when with me.
But after a while I noticed that she started to behave strangely. After flirting heavily, she would then tell me how she had met a nice guy. I began to think that maybe she was trying to make me jealous. I made the mistake of foolishly touching her hand while it was on her mouse and she flinched and moved away. Then she started to be a bit difficult. When discussing a business problem, she would snap at me and try to be argumentative. However, right afterwards she would again laugh at my jokes and initiated physical contact.
I became very confused by all this. Then we were put on different projects and only recently met again after a six-week interruption. When I told her we were working together again, she was overjoyed. At this point, I thought I was in a good position to ask her out for a date. However, while Kara would laugh and giggle when with me, she also would not stop being difficult and snapping at me. Yet again she brushed up against me, however. Would a woman do these things by accident? I think that if she had lost interest, she would be very careful NOT to initiate any contact whatsoever.
While she has acted nasty towards me, Kara has also been generally interested in me and my family and would question me and give details about her friends and family. I told her that I had been thinking of moving abroad last summer, but had changed my mind for now; she said I should go for it. Was this a sign of low interest?
I have started to fall in love with Kara without even going out on a date with her yet. But I am troubled. Why does she constantly challenge, snap and try to argue with me, including in front of others? If I ask her out, what’s the best way to do it? We work together, and I already have her phone number.
Kiefer - who is confused by her inconsistency
EVER HEAR "YOU'RE JUST TOO NICE TO DATE?"
Yeah - if you're GETTING SICK OF HEARING THAT then take my 7-day dating course FOR FREE - and I'll put you on the road to being the type of guy she wants to keep instead of giving you the "let's just be friends" speech. Oh, let me say that word one more time:
First of all, notice that because you weren’t so physically attracted to Kara at first it helped you to be a natural Challenge, which is good. But the real trick is to be able to do the same thing when your Interest Level is in the 80s!
But then Kara told you that she met a nice guy. To you Psych majors, when she flirts with you, then talks about meeting a nice guy, this is INCONSISTENT BEHAVIOR. And what it means is that Kara is a loon. Do you really want to be involved with a loon? Hey, she’s only 22 years young. And if you’ve read my book, you know what I say about females from the age of 18 to 22.
Why would you think that Kara is trying to make you jealous? You have no ground to stand on here, Kiefer. You’re reaching for something that doesn’t exist. Jealousy is about loss, and she’s not yours to lose and vice-versa. She’s not your girlfriend, and you’re not her boyfriend. When she flinched when you touched her, it tells you that she’s a cuckoo. And by the way, you know what “The System” says about touching.
Then she was back and forth with you like a yo-yo. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “This girl runs hot and cold.” Again, is this what you want? And why are you confused about her behavior? Kara is just an inconsiderate girl. But the reason she’s playing hard to get is because SHE’S JUST NOT INTERESTED in you. And since you’re her boss, she should be treating you better, Kiefer. Forget dating – you’re the leader of her group! This tells me she’s not very smart, on top of everything!
Given all of this, why would you...
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