WHAT'S THE 411 ON THIS ARTICLE?
He got her # BUT IT WAS FOR WORK and he misread ALL THE SIGNS & wasted time.
I recently met Dianne, who is in one of my work groups at college. It wasn’t hard to get her number since we all exchanged emails and numbers within the group. We interacted on several work issues and tossed funny text messages back and forth. I know that all a girl wants to talk about is herself, so I let her do that.
Ever since, we have been texting pretty much all day, with some late-night calls about general things and laughs. She told me that she has a boyfriend, but she “doesn't like being in relationships.” I never asked her out and just focused more on being a Challenge, teasing, and being cocky and funny. We also had a conversation about my style of dating and what happened with one of my ex-girlfriends.
Anyway, our work group had another meeting last night. We agreed that I would pick Dianne up at her apartment. I opened the car door for her (being the gentleman I am) and she said, “Wow -- you’re going to open the door for me? It feels like we’re going a date.” I complimented her on her perfume, and on the way back home I told her that I used to play soccer, and she mentioned that her boyfriend liked soccer also.
Then I changed the subject to focus more on Dianne. When we got to her place, we kissed each other’s cheek and she thanked me for the ride. Now Doc, I have some questions. In your opinion, do you think Dianne is interested in me? Should I continue teasing and flirting with her even though she has a three-week-long boyfriend? Or should I just put us in the Friend Zone and let destiny do its part? Dianne is going to be in my work group for some time, so I have to be careful to not make anything awkward or make her feel like I’m a creep. I plan to buy “The System” soon, but money is tight because I’m going to college, and college really takes it out of you. This girl has been driving me crazy.
Ahmet - who doesn’t know whether to push on smoothly or back off
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When you got Dianne’s number, it was for work – only. You didn’t get her number for the purposes of dating. There’s a big difference, guy. But you don’t know that because you don’t have my book. And you should be letting Dianne talk about herself, but only ON DATES -- not in the Friend Zone as a fellow student.
Doing all of this useless texting is the biggest mistake that you’re making in your entire life, Ahmet. It shows that you’re absolutely clueless about how to handle girls. Texting -- whether she’s your friend or your girlfriend – is a complete waste of time. Worst of all, it KILLS Challenge.
When Dianne says that she doesn’t like relationships when she has a boyfriend, it’s like a millionaire saying that he doesn’t like being rich. She’s a bit of a ding-dong.
To you Psych majors, you can’t focus on being a Challenge when you’re texting or on the phone all the time, and when she has a boyfriend. You use Challenge when you’re going after the girl. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “You’re putting the cart before the horse.” Then you went on to talk about other girls that you dated in front of someone you’re interested in. More mistakes!
When Dianne made that remark about feeling like she was on a date, at least you were getting...
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