Dating Women - Go Back To His Ex? Really??? | Doc Love - Dating Advice For Men

Dating Women Advice: Was John Legend Ever Tempted To Go Back To An Old Girlfriend?

WHAT'S THE 411 ON THIS ARTICLE?

He's CLUELESS with his ex and DISLOYAL to his girlfriend - other than that he's doing fine!

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READER'S QUESTION

Hey Doc,

I’ve been in a good relationship with Samantha for six years. As you can probably tell, I’m following your coaching closely, having kept the relationship for this long. But I have to add that we’re not married and have no kids. So maybe this says something about our relationship.


Recently things have gotten worse because Jill, who I dated before I got involved with Samantha, has come back to town and called me to come over to her new place and fix her window. I made polite excuses, and we decided to catch up later. All the feelings I had for Jill began to swirl back, to the point where I couldn’t contain myself and asked to meet with her. After the first call, I hinted that I was not available. But later I said that if I was not taken by Samantha I would have been over to fix her window – and more.


Because Jill had to move to a couple of different addresses before she found a permanent one, it took two months to arrange this meeting. When I did -- oh boy. We started to become very flirtatious with each other. Now Jill wants me to come to her housewarming party. I think she wants more than just that.


So my question is this: do I come clean flat out with Jill and tell her that I’m interested in her again, or just keep things as they are (which is nothing really, because it’s all only in my head up to this point).

My inclination is to not succumb to my weakness for Jill. But I don’t know if I can.


I guess this has stirred up the doubts I’ve been having in my current relationship with Samantha.


Thanks in advance for your coaching, Doc.


Richard - who doesn’t want to come off looking like an idiot

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DOC'S ANSWER

Hi Richard,

First of all, let me ask you this question: how do you go out with a girl for six years and not marry her? How does she go out with you and not tell you that unless you marry her within a certain amount of time, that she’s wasting hers? If you really dug Samantha, you would have married her after two or three years.


Now Jill is suddenly in the picture. Dude, you know what the rule is: YOU CAN’T GO BACK.

You and Jill broke up a long time ago. She remembers everything that you did wrong. Since your letter doesn’t tell me anything to the contrary, I have to assume that she dropped you. Now she calls you out of the blue after six long years to come and fix something? She doesn’t ask how you are or whether you’re dating anyone?

This babe knows she has you...

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About the Author

  • Russ says:

    I’ve been in this same situation where I was in a long term relationship but wasn’t 100 percent in love with the girl. I broke up with her and it was hard because I really liked her. I think I was afraid of being single and lonely. But that was better than wasting her time.

    I think Richard should break up with Samantha and also forget about Jill. Doc’s right, the things Richard did to lower Jill’s interest level will never be erased from her memory. He should become single and try things like Match.com and see if he can find a girl he’s as attracted to as Jill.

    Love the weekly articles Doc.

  • Norman says:

    Hi Doc

    I went out 10 years ago with Caprice who is now married (before I had the system) after date 1 told me (womanese) “we have different outlooks//values.” Two weeks ago Lisa a mutual friend of ours called me that Caprice has a girlfriend Molly who she wants to set me up with. Caprice now wants to act as a Matchmaker. I told Lisa I find my own dates and I am seeing someone just to get Lisa off my back . Doc, Lisa keeps on calling me up wanting me to meet Molly. Do you have any suggestions to tell Lisa to stop harassing ? Just wondering why is Caprice playing matchmaker, when she thought 10 years ago we had different outlooks/values? Also, after a date when I am not interested in meeting a woman again. How long should I wait to call her? (The system says 7-9 day to see her interest level) My questions is even for a woman I am dumping?

    • DocLove says:

      On the woman harassing you to meet her friend just say “I’m dating someone now and not interested in meeting anyone new.”

      As far as when you’re dropping a woman if it’s 1-3 dates in just don’t call her again as there is not much invested from either side – from date 4 on you have to be polite and tell her you’re not interested but don’t be cruel – just say an old girlfriend came back into your life. You don’t have to wait 5-9 days either because that rule is only to build INTEREST LEVEL but if you are never going to see her again it doesn’t matter

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