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He loves her - she loves him - but she's broken and cannot be fixed. Find out why he needs to move on ASAP!
Hey Doc,I purchased “The System” a year ago, and it has helped me to refine my approach to women and to life. However, I still have to read your book a great number of times more.
Currently, I am in an eight-month relationship with a great woman, Liane. She’s kind, smart, and Beautiful. She is also a Giver. She helps me with the cleaning and cooking despite the fact that we aren’t living together.
We’ve had a lot of conflict over her feelings of inadequacy, and her feeling like she’s second best to me. A large portion of these insecurities may stem from her emotionally abusive father, with whom she does not have contact anymore, as well as her negative feelings about her mixed ethnicity.I am much more reserved than Liane, and my attitude at times may suggest that I don’t care too much.
However, I tell her that I am committed to a relationship with her, and we spend a lot of time discussing these issues in a calm and rational, though sometimes frustrating, way. I would even admit some of my own insecurities to her so that she felt like she wasn’t the only one dealing with them. Even though things got better after a shaky start, Liane continues to feel that she is much more interested in the relationship than I am.
The truth is that I love her, and show her affection every day. Heck, I want to marry her!
Although it may seem as if I am being a Challenge, I go along with Liane’s suggestions most of the time.
For example, she immediately wanted to start seeing me and be romantically intimate four or more times per week at the start of our romance.
She would almost always initiate meeting up, and she would act hurt if I was busy that day. I would find myself occasionally changing my schedule for her just so we could hang out. Liane was the first to say she loved me, and would ask for romance nine out of 10 times.
Again, I love her, and always requited the affection once we started.
I wasn’t neglecting her!Now our relationship is on the rocks, and we’ve been talking about breaking up and her need for space. She is also frustrated that I’ve had more romantic experience than her. Liane says that I hold too much power in the relationship, and she believes that I don’t really want her. This sounds a lot like Womanese to me, but I still would like to hear your opinion.
By the way, Liane still seems like she is open to rebuilding our relationship, but we both know that this won’t be easy. Is the problem here my lack of Challenge and constant contact (up to six nights a week) with her or is it something else?
Howard - who doesn’t want to throw eight months away
WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO APPROACH WOMEN???
I'll give you the 411 on how to approach women AND also 6 more GREAT dating lessons all FOR FREE - oh, let me say that word one more time:
Hi Howard,First of all, you have to eat, sleep and dream “The System.”
You have to get the entire book between your ears so that every reaction you have is natural and correct. That will come with time, but you have to study the book over and over again.
Let me tell you something, pal. Liane shouldn’t be servicing your house. You should have an outside cleaning person.
Your girlfriend should not be cleaning up after you. It’s okay if she cooks you a meal here and there, but she’s not there to mop floors. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “She ain’t your maid.”You can’t change
Liane’s feelings of inadequacy. And the problem is that her insecurities are going to haunt you for the rest of your life if you stay in this relationship. She had a horrible father and no stability when she was growing up and you are going to have to live with those things for the rest of your life if you stay with her.
To you Psych majors, when you marry a woman, her problems are YOUR problems. The best woman to marry is...
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