Brilliant as always Doc. Thanks for the fine analysis, especially the last part about the girl pinning her issues on the guy. Have experienced this first hand from young girls.

Quick remark Doc. I am 27, and I don’t like to invest time in a long shot, like you taught me Doc, but if girls who are young, 20-23, just happen to be there, I figure “Why not ?”.

Is it a problem, if I don’t waste more than 5 minutes getting the number and only cheap 20-30 minute coffee dates ?

Nothing ventured, nothing gained ?

Hey Doc, in your book I recall the part about not kissing on the first date, unless you’re certain of her low interest level, in that case, go for the kiss on the 1st date to force her hand and give her an opportunity to prove you wrong. Is that what tiny was trying to do there?

Hi Doc,

So, the coffee date does NOT count as the first date? I’ve been kissing on the first date AFTER that – no cheeks yet – but I flushed the number of one woman who rushed a hug and quickly went inside. It’s good to have that clarified.

Thanks, Denny

I have to wonder if this girl still would’ve given him the ‘hard interview’ if she’d been more attracted to him to begin with. Women tend to test guys less when their interest level is really high from the get go.

Doc Love is excellent, what a genius the world will lose once he leaves the earth. I must admit the subjects he handles so easily as a pro have me dumbfounded at times. He should add everything on a website so that future generations don’t lose the lessons.

Doc love;

You’re the BOSS man…to hell with the rest.

Doc,

I’m 22 years old and I’ve been taking this 18 year old girl out on dates. I met her at a football game and asked for her number as I was leaving. She responded with “Definitely, we should hang out some time!” I felt her high interest level. I waited 5 days before calling and asked her out for a specific day and time.

We had a blast dancing and she was doing most of the talking. I waited another 6 days before asking her out for the second date the next week. On this date she was still doing 80% of the talking and asking lots of questions to me, to which I responded with short answers and joked and then asked her other questions, trying to keep her talking most of the time. On the third date, she was laughing, talking, and now also touching my arm (which she hadn’t done on previous dates) I dropped her off but didn’t go for the kiss. Maybe I chickened out, I don’t know what it was. After reading the comments to this article, I realize maybe I should have gone for the kiss on the second date?

In The System you talk about waiting longer if you know she wants to be kissed to increase the anticipation. I can tell she has interest level, but I’m not sure when to go for the kiss. I can’t tell if she’s been dropping hints to kiss her (she wasn’t looking at my lips or anything like that), or if I should even be anticipating her dropping hints at all- However, I’ve noticed that by following the system, a lot of girls will drop hints and try to hold my hand, things like that when they are wanting to be kissed.

Anyways, I just completed a 4th date with her and her interest level was still pretty good. However, I realized I was telling her more about myself than normal (probably due to my high interest level- shame on me!) What I should have done was joking it off and asking her more questions about herself. I’m not sure if I’m out of the game now because I haven’t gone for the kiss by now or if I lowered her interest level by telling her a lot about myself. How long should I wait before satisfying her questions about me and telling her more about myself? Is there a general rule for when I am allowed to tell her more about me? Or should I just constantly be trying to have her do the talking? I know that her asking me questions is a sign of her interest but again, I’m not sure if I should ALWAYS be mysterious or is there a time that is okay to tell her more about myself? Also- is it worth it for me to ask her out again if I haven’t gone for the kiss by now…

We are both students and have finals next week and then a month off from school. I’m not sure if I should wait till after the break to call her now or should I try and get one more date for next week before the break?

Hi Doc i know this is an old article but i had to say something.
In my experience there is a lot of structured women out there far more than clinically sane flexible givers. Number one when i say “Your my first date i guess you recognize the fact that im a little shy”
and other funnies like when i told her i work as an IT specialist she is like “What level of education you finished for that” I knew right there she was looking for an educated guy so i pulled ” I finished elementary school” She is like you must be so smart then and i told her i happen to be more charming than smart and i winked at her lol Anyway alot of them do not like comic teasing or a bit of sarcasm.
Another one told be are you being sarcastic and gets mad on the first date. They also do not like the 5-9 day rules. This is mostly online but its the only place im able to date women at my age 39 most of them have boyfriends or married. Dancing salsa, conventions, work ,clubs all say no when ask for the number. Only an occasional ugly one will give me her number. Online i dated quite a few good looking but structured. Im not ugly and workout. I should tough it out and one day right Doc.

if a woman interrogates you on a first date it means she is 1) rigid 2) not open minded 3) not easy going.

How so?

Because by interrogating you she tries to see if you fit into some kind of mold of her own making. She does not want to waste her time on a ‘wrong’ candidate and therefore – complicated questionnaire.

Im with Doc Love here – stay away from this kind of women. Even if you were to pass her ‘test’ initially, she would be difficult to live with later. Guaranteed.

why is she out? Where does it says that her interest level is below 50?

When we ask a lady out the first time, do we tell them it is a date? Or do we just ask them out with the time and location, and not say anything else?

In my ultra conservative Asian society, many people still believe a date is only a date when boyfriends and girlfriends agree to spend time together. Anything else like Starbucks or having dinner with a lady we just met is merely “hanging out with a friend”.

I disagree with this belief as I think the intent of the “meet-up” is ultimately similar. A single man and a woman agrees to spend time together to know each other, with the possible intent of getting together in future.

There fore, I feel that we do not have to spell it out to a woman so clearly that we want to date them. I believe in their hearts, whether consciously or subconsciously, they do know that when a man ask them out for time alone, it is with the intent of getting together.

Any views on this doc?