Dating Women Advice: Does Jay Z Have Anything In Common With Beyonce?

COMFORT IS NOT LOVE

​He's comfortable with her - but that's MUCH DIFFERENT from being in love with her - find out why he needs to end things NOW.

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Dating Women Podcast #107

107:  She's running HOT and COLD - what gives???

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READER'S QUESTION

Hey Doc,

First off I’d like to say that I’m a huge fan and supporter of you and your work. I’ve read “The System,” love it and follow it to a tee. In fact my friends even call me for advice with their women all the time.

Here’s my problem. I met Krystal two years ago. Among my tons of dates she stood out a little from the rest, especially her personality. We talked for months and I ended up cutting her off because I didn’t think things would work out between us. A few months later she contacted me out of the blue and asked me how I was doing and if I had found someone. We took things very slowly, and after months of dating I decided to ask Krystal to be my girlfriend.

I continue to follow “The System” as closely as possible. Krystal’s roommate ended up moving out and about a year into dating I moved in with Krystal. I have a six-figure job, I’m well above average in the looks department, and ever since “The System” have had unreal success with women. But since I’ve moved in with Krystal, the sex is lazy and less often, she always complains about something, she doesn’t share any common interests with me, and she keeps pressuring me to get engaged.

Doc, things are going downhill. I understand that no woman is perfect and Krystal is the best I’ve met in hundreds of dates, and she legitimately is good marriage material. I genuinely care about her and she cares about me, she has a good career, and we share similar morals and life goals. But I’m terrified of getting married and making a mistake. I don’t want to break up with Krystal as I genuinely love her, her parents love me and my parents love her. What should I do?

Brent - who wants coaching from only the best

Hey Doc,

 

I’ve been married twice and am currently still on my second marriage. The first marriage ultimately did not work out because my wife at the time wasn’t much of a team player in my time of need. She later tried to get back with me, but I felt that I couldn’t trust being with someone who was not fully in my corner from day one.

 

A few years later, I met Chanel, a very attractive fashionista lady, on a dating site. I was lonely and not on my “A” game, so you could say that I was a desperado. But she accepted me flaws and all. We dated for five years until I got back on my feet and we decided to take the plunge and get married.

 

The problem is that Chanel has low Self-Esteem and will not address her recent weight gain issues. She also has spending issues (I found out that she went bankrupt before I knew her), but I still married her out of love. Also, she’s not nearly as ambitious as I would like her to be and doesn’t like it if I suggest that she try getting bigger and better things out of life and that she has to work hard for them. She recently abandoned a career that she’d been pursuing for many years, and I feel that financially we are going to be a wreck if this trend continues.

 

Chanel now says that she wants to start a business but doesn’t like my suggestions even though I have much more experience in that area. Another problem is that since we’ve been married our intimacy level has dropped tremendously from the years when we were dating.

 

I’m beginning to think that being married is overrated. Chanel acted a certain way when we were dating (good Attitude and Flexible) but is turning out to be someone else, or we just may be growing apart. I will say that one good thing is that we rarely argue, but I’m beginning to wonder if I made the right choice. In hindsight, maybe I should have waited until I had my stuff more together before trying to find a significant other because as they say, you attract who you are.

 

Doc, do you think my marriage is doomed and that I’m wasting my time? Ultimately, I think Chanel wants to just be a stay-at-home mom and taken care of, but that is not really feasible due to our financial situation. Some have suggested marriage counseling, but I don’t know if this can be fixed.

 

Your thoughts, Doc?

 

Jamie - who is sinking into depression over it


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DOC LOVE'S ANSWER

Hi Brent,

When your friends call you for advice, direct them to DocLove.com to get “The System” for themselves. Don’t give them anything in the way of advice. Most of the time your friends don’t want to change. They just want to bellyache and are looking for an ear to cry into.

Now let me get this straight. You’re telling me that you originally dropped this woman – which means that your Interest Level was below 50%. Don’t you see what the real problem is here? Dude, YOU CAN’T GO BACK. You already dumped this babe because you weren’t sold on her. Now you’re trying to make up for something that’s already finished and done. The rule of “The System” is ONE SHOT PER GIRL PER LIFETIME. So what this tells me is that you’re NOT really following “The System” all the way. In fact, you’re not following “The Systemat all. The things that turned you off initially about Krystal are still there and now you’re trying to overlook them. She hasn’t changed. So you have to be introspective and ask yourself, “If I’m a good, attractive man who has Doc Love’s book, why am I going back when those things that turned me off initially are still there?” To you Psych majors, when your Interest Level drops, it’s not because she’s turning you on – it’s because she’s turning you off.

These articles give you a lot - but not enough - you need THE SYSTEM if you really want to be successful with women. Not sure? Read our "you changed my life letters."

So why in the world would you move in with a woman that you dropped? Think about that. You might have had unreal success getting women as a result of having my book, but you’re not using it with this woman. There’s an entire chapter in my book called “BACK,” which says that you can’t go back because the things that turned you off are still there.

Let me explain something to you. Common interest is not really the issue here. The truth is that you will always have something in common with a woman. There are thousands of different things you can do when you have a partner, and you only need four or five of them in order have something in common. The real issue here is that Krystal is a complainer and she’s pressuring you to get engaged. As far as men’s complaints go, nagging is one of the biggest problems in a relationship. I don’t think you really like this woman that much, my friend. And I don’t think you actually know “The System.” You’ve used parts of it to get women to date you. You probably have it, maybe you’ve read it once or twice, and you say you like it, but you’re not really going by the whole program.

Krystal is NOT good marriage material. She’s lazy, right? How does that make her good marriage material? You might share similar morals and life goals, but what about your Interest Level? Usually we have to look at the female Interest Level, but yours is below 50% and it’s been below 50% from the day you dropped Krystal. So like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “You’re trying to make something out of nothing here.”

Hey man, you should be terrified of making a mistake – because you have the wrong girl and you don’t go by “The System.” And forget the parents, yours and hers – they have nothing to do with your situation.

Here’s the deal. You’re comfortable with Krystal. Maybe you even love her. But you’re not IN LOVE with her. 

What should you do? DROP HER.

Remember, guys: when it’s over, it’s over.

Hi Jamie,

 

When you tell me that a woman was not in your corner from day one, it means you married a taker instead of a Giver. A Giver would have been in your corner from the very beginning. If you’d had “The System,” you would have studied your first wife for two years and found out that she wasn’t a Giver, and you wouldn’t have married her. So you can blame all of your problems on not going by “The System.”

 

Dude, Chanel should want to be thin, or at least a normal weight. You can’t now say to her, “Honey, I love you but you’re fat!” Again, this goes back to the type of woman you chose. And the fact that you’re not familiar with “The System” does not help you with your choice of partners! Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “When it comes to picking them, you don’t know what you’re doing, my son.”

 

Sadly, Jamie, you really didn’t marry Chanel out of love – you married her out of need. There’s a big difference. Your wife has low Self-Esteem and she’s overweight and she doesn’t know how to handle money. What that means is that she’s unhealthy and we live in an economic society. So she woman is a loser. But like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “Too bad she don’t know how to lose weight!”

 

The fact that Chanel is showing all of these undesirable traits now that you’re married is the very point of studying my materials and dating for two years. What that means is that you would have recognized these undesirable qualities if you’d been following “The System.” You shouldn’t be finding out all of this stuff after you got married. And that’s your problem, guy. And you did this with both of your wives. The really sad part is that if you’d had my book, you wouldn’t have married either one of these women and created all of this anguish for yourself.

 

Jamie, you picked not one, but two losers here. With your choices of women, marriage is overrated. There are lots of great women out there, but you didn’t get one either time you decided to get married. Nor did you have my book, which would have GIVEN YOU THE ABILITY TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN A KEEPER AND A LOSER.

 

Chanel might have seemed like one person when you were dating, but you didn’t really know her and you didn’t understand what Red Flags were because you weren’t familiar with “The System.” Now Chanel’s Interest Level has taken a dive, which is causing her to not want to keep you happy. This is something else you know nothing about because you don’t have my book.

 

Unfortunately, your marriage is doomed and you are wasting your time. It can’t be fixed, Jamie. You are the one that has to be fixed. What you have to do is get my materials and find a new girl. Then you have to study my materials for two years AT THE SAME TIME as you study this new girl. Then the disasters of your first two marriages won’t happen again. Good luck.

 

Remember, guys: when everything appears to be perfect, marriage is still extremely difficult.

Hi Atticus,

 

First of all, anytime a woman uses the word “space,” you’re DEAD. And when she utters the word “single,” it’s every bit as bad as the word “space,” and it means that you’re OUT. And in turn it means that her Interest Level has dropped below 50%, which means that there is no recovering.

 

Atticus, the really sad part is that at one time in this relationship, perhaps for a year and a half to two years, Dakota had high Interest Level in you. But due to your deportment, you slowly lowered it. Since I notice that you don’t mention “The System,” you’re not aware of how this process of deterioration works and you don’t even see that it’s going on. If you would have had my book one year before you met Dakota, she would be begging you for babies right now. Instead, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Just the thought of you touching her makes her skin crawl.”

 

How can you envision a future with Dakota when she doesn’t even want to be in the same room with you? How obvious does she have to make it before you get the drift that you’re not just out, but that you’re COMPLETELY OUT?

 

Dude, Dakota isn’t confused at all – you’re the one who’s confused. She has low Interest Level, you’re out, and you think she has high interest and that you’re still in. That’s why you’re confused – not her.

 

Guy, Dakota doesn’t want you around her family anymore. What’s the point? This thing is over. To you Psych majors, when you lose the girlfriend, you lose the family too. Most guys don’t realize this. What are you going to do, hang around Dakota’s family and show up to her wedding when she marries her real love? So forget her sister and her fiancé. That’s dead, gone, and finished. Sure, they love you – but what good is it when your girlfriend is out of love with you?

 

Dakota’s Facebook posts aren’t mixed signals at all. They are very, very clear signals to you, my friend. They are saying that you are history. And again, why are you going to be friends with a couple related to a woman who dumped you? And you think they’re never going to talk about Dakota with you? Come on, Atticus, how unrealistic can you be?

 

You don’t know what Dakota’s motives are when she contacts you. The only thing you can know for sure is that you’re OUT. You definitely need my book, man. Again, if you’d had “The System,” this disaster never would have happened. But Dakota began to lose interest in you between a year and a half and two years before the breakup, and it slid all the way from 95% to below 50%. And when it hit 49%, she said “I’m out of here!”

 

You can’t approach this situation anymore, Atticus. You have to get my book and memorize it ASAP and find someone new who you haven’t blown it with. The truth is that you’re not rejecting Dakota when you tell her not to contact you because you’re already out.

 

Remember, guys: unless you memorize “The System,” you’ll just repeat the same mistakes with the next woman you meet. 

Hi Garry,

 

As soon as you began having trouble with your wife, you didn’t have “The System” overnighted to you (or buy my immediate downloads - ELECTRONIC SYSTEM or SYSTEM AUDIO). Why not? Do you realize the terrible anguish you could have saved yourself? All that time Donatella’s interest was going from 90%...to 88%...to 85%...to 82%, etc. And as most American men do, you noticed it finally when it hit 60% or 57% or somewhere in that area. “The System” says that this woman probably once loved you. You’ve been with her for 15 years, and she probably loved you for eight to 10 years of that time. After that, because you took her for granted, her Interest Level began to drop.

 

And let me explain something to you. Interest Level doesn’t drop from 100% to 49% in an hour, or overnight, even though that’s the man’s perception of what’s going on. No, like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “It takes time and negligence to erode.” That’s why if you’d have memorized my materials, when it went from 91% to 89% you would have known to start getting into my MAINTENANCE PROGRAM, which will secure the woman wanting to stay with you forever. But like most men in America, you knew how to get her, but you didn’t know how to keep her. That’s why a majority of women recently reported in a national survey that they wouldn’t marry the same guy again. But since you didn’t have my book, what’s happened to you now is predictable.

 

You might have thought this situation was going to improve on its own, Garry, but when Interest Level goes 60%...58%..56%...54%, it’s like an airplane going down. It won’t pull up by itself. Like my cousin General Love says, “It just crashes and burns.” And that’s what happened with your wife. You murdered her Interest Level through your deportment.

 

So when your relationship with Donatella took another dive, why didn’t you Google a love doctor for some advice? The question to ask was, why is this woman so turned off when for eight or 10 years she idolized me? Dude, a good salary and taking care of your family financially doesn’t equate to romance to a female.

 

Your wife had been showing you for a long time that you were miles apart. Did she really have to verbalize it and tell you she no longer loved you? You’ve been with her for a long time, and when she finally said it after a deterioration of five or six years, it was only then that you sat up and took notice? Are you blind? And to you Psych majors, when she tells you that she no longer loves you, you are OUT.

 

Now let me explain something else to you. When Interest Level consistently drops, it’s NEVER temporary. It’s only temporary until she leaves. Then it’s final,

 

Now you’re in a fatal depression, pal. If you’d been studying my book all along, it would have made the pain more bearable. So the first thing you have to do now is have “The System” OVERNIGHTED to you and MEMORIZE it (or get an immediate download - SYSTEM AUDIO or ELECTRONIC SYSTEM). Because when it comes to women, you are absolutely clueless, even after you’ve lived with this woman for so long. Garry, I know more about your wife than you do and I’ve never even met the woman. And that’s very sad.

 

Then, like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “You have to suck it up.” When Donatella calls, be polite, don’t talk about your relationship, ask her how much money she needs, send her a check and ask her if there’s anything more you can do for her. Maybe, with time, she’ll meet you for coffee, then maybe a dinner date, then maybe you’ll move into getting her back into the house. Try to talk to your kids as much as possible. You’ll have to apologize for blowing up and making a fool of yourself because when you did that, it only reinforced your wife’s low Interest Level. Because what she said to herself was that she didn’t realize that her husband was so lacking in Self-Control!

 

But no matter what, you still need my book. You need to find out where you went wrong with your wife. Like I said earlier, you’re clueless.

 

Whether or not Donatella has found someone else is beyond your control. So don’t make the problem even worse than it is. Get “The System,” study it like heck, and we’ll do our best to get her back.

 

Donatella didn’t throw away anything over nothing. You stopped romancing your wife and took her for granted. You never told her she was Beautiful. You didn’t treat her like a woman. If you did, she would still be all over you.

 

Remember, guys: to keep your wife in love with you, you have to date her.

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