Dating Women Advice: Did Seal’s Gut Tell Him To Move On When Heidi Dumped Him?

Dating Women Podcast Episode 39

On this week's podcast we talk about (note, this is correct - we accidentally told you that Podcast 38 contained the following content - we got a week ahead of ourselves.  Podcast 38 talked about not bragging and boasting):

Online Dating - the basics and how to avoid women that will waste your time.

Hit the "listen now" link below to get this show and connect to all of my podcasts (growing weekly!)

PS - if you want even more audio - listen to our weekly Dating Women Radio Show (Wednesdays at 5:00 p.m. PT / 8:00 p.m. ET)

WHAT'S THE 411 ON THIS ARTICLE?

Remember that she MENTALLY leaves before she PHYSICALLY leaves.

Read on and don't forget to listen to my Dating Women Radio Show EVERY WEDNESDAY at 5:00 p.m. PT / 8:00 p.m. ET

READER'S QUESTION

Hey Doc,

I need coaching.  I just ordered “The System” but need some help right now.

Britney, my girlfriend of seven months, has broken up with me. I could see the signs and would try to get her to open up about our problems, but she wouldn’t go for it. She became less and less available. I was always very attentive to her needs, maybe too much. And I was always available and did nice things to surprise her.

I never really got closure from Britney and she never said that it was over. She just continued to cut me off until I finally said I will give you space. That was six weeks ago. In those six weeks we exchanged a few texts and calls but it was really nothing but small talk. One night she saw me out with another girl and texted me the next day. A few days later we met to talk, and we ended up making out.

Several days later we met again, talked, laughed and kissed with passion. But afterwards she got quiet and said that it wasn’t going to work between us, the make-out sessions meant nothing, and that she didn’t know why she still had emotions for me.

Doc, does Britney need attention or should I just leave her alone? I feel like I’m chasing her. My gut tells me to walk away and move on, but my heart says keep in touch with her and I might still have a shot.

She has now put an ad on an online dating service. I saw it and told her it looked great. But it read like she was desperate to have someone. Is this her way of replacing me because she’s hurting? But she was the one who dumped me! I don’t get it.

Bobo - who is totally confused

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DOC LOVE'S ANSWER

Hi Bobo,

The really unfortunate thing for you is that like most guys, you waited until the last minute to get my book. You read many of my columns online, then, when you ran into a heavy problem, you decided to buy “The System.” But what most guys don’t realize is that my book will GUARANTEE that you DON’T have a problem in the future. To you Psych majors, you need my training BEFORE conditions deteriorate, not when she’s already walking out the door. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “At that point, you’re already dead.”

Now what do you mean that you were attentive to Britney’s needs? Are you her psychiatrist? Are you her girlfriend? Bobo, if you’re playing her shrink, you’re the one with the major problem. To boot, you say you were always available. When you’re always at her beck and call, you’re slaughtering Challenge. You have to keep a slight distance from a babe – that’s what Challenge is. But of course you’re not aware of how Challenge really works and all of its nuances because you don’t have my book yet.

Now let me explain something to you. When a woman’s Interest Level drops from 51% to 49%, she doesn’t leave like a man will when his interest hits the same level. But MENTALLY SHE’S ALREADY OUT of the relationship, and that’s what really counts. The BODY will only leave 10 points later, when her Interest Level falls from 49% to 39%. That’s when she will exit physically. When her interest is in the process of dropping from 49% to 40%, she’s still with you, so you think you still have a chance with her – but you don’t. And here’s something else most men don’t realize: when she stays with you between the Interest Levels of 49% to 40%, she’s building up even more resentment towards you because she doesn’t want to be there. Once again, these are the deeper levels of understanding that you’re missing by not having, reading, and memorizing my book.

Does Britney need attention? Dude, she doesn’t want any attention from you. That’s what you don’t seem to get. You’re OUT. Finished. Kaput. You shouldn’t just leave her alone, man, you need to find a new girlfriend!

You feel like you’re chasing Britney because you are chasing her. And CHASING IS ANTI-CHALLENGE, which is covered in my book, which you should have had six months ago. Bobo, the saddest thing in your situation is that if you had a firm handle on my techniques and principles, Britney would be asking you for babies right now instead of giving you your walking papers!

Now your heart and your gut are telling you two different things. Listen to your gut, Bobo. Your gut is steering you right. You’re finished with Britney. But you have to MEMORIZE MY MATERIALS, otherwise you’re going to repeat your mistakes with the next girl you meet.

So, you told Britney her online dating ad looked great? In other words, she’s being anti-Loyal and you praised her for it. Wow, pal, that is a good joke! Of course she’s desperate to find someone new because she wants to get as far away as possible from you!

No, Britney is NOT hurting. You’re the one who’s hurting. She just wants to find someone new. And of course she dumped you. That’s the way it is 90% of the time, and that’s what most men don’t realize is going to happen when they don’t go by “The System.”

Remember, guys: when it’s over, it’s over.

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