Dating Women Advice: Two Article SPECIAL – Two Bad Choices AND Dating At Work

This week you get 2 articles as we will have no show or articles on 11/16.  We will be back to normal on 11/23.

If you're looking for Dating Women Podcast 30 (release date 11/5/16), Dating Women Podcast 31 (release date 11/12/16),  or Dating Women Podcast 32 (release date 11/19/16) then visit DatingWomenPodcast.com

Doc Love
DocLove.com

WHAT'S THE 411 ON THESE ARTICLES?

Article 1 deals with his 2 choices in women.  Good problem to have, right?  WRONG.  Both are bad choices (find out why below).

Article 2 deals with his love life at work.  He is interested in a woman 20 years younger than him AND his co-workers know he's interested.  Not good.

Read on and don't forget to listen to my Dating Women Radio Show EVERY WEDNESDAY at 5:00 p.m. PT / 8:00 p.m. ET (2 hour special on 11/9/16, no show on 11/16/16, back to normal on 11/23/16)

ARTICLE 1 - HIS 2 BAD CHOICES

Hey Doc,

I live in India and am a worshiper of “THE SYSTEM,” which I’ve been reading for a month now. My life got much simpler after I got to know your work, and since then there is no other relationship coach that I follow. But misuse of knowledge has gotten me into a little trouble.

My problem is that I have two girlfriends. I met Indira, 20, nine months ago in a computer class and since then we’ve been on three dates. She’s the most giving girl I could have ever found on this planet. Even though she lives 500 miles away when she’s not at college, she will call me every single day. She helped me with all my assignments and projects at school. She was always caring, and whenever I felt weak she was the girl who gave me courage and made me strong. If I told her that she was fat, she would drop everything, start working out and get in shape for me. She’s that kind of girl.

Then I found Melissa at the restaurant where I would work. She’s Beautiful and 22. I went directly at her, told her she was Beautiful and got her number. After a week of waiting I called and asked her for a date. She lives 100 miles away but comes to visit me every weekend. She’s never cancelled even one date with me. She is mature and Giving but also a feminist, which scares me. Where I could tell Indira to get in shape and she would do it happily, Melissa would say that it’s not right to tell someone to shape up. If I asked Melissa to help me with a project, she would check her priorities first, while Indira would put my priorities before hers.

Recently I told both girls about each other and that I was involved with the other. I am actually the first boyfriend to both of them. Indira was okay with the situation and told me that it’s not my fault. Amazingly, Melissa said the same thing.

Both girls are Loyal and have never cheated. Please tell me which one to choose for the future. I am totally confused right now and will follow your decision. Please coach me, Doc, because I need help.

Bus - who can’t choose between the two

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WHAT I THINK ABOUT HIS 2 BAD CHOICES

Hi Bus,

Thanks very much for the compliment. But remember, you have to keep reading my book until it’s memorized and SECOND NATURE.

Now let’s move on to your so-called problem, which is that you have two girlfriends. Dude, do you realize how many guys would love to have your problem? Every guy would love to have your problem! So you really don’t have a problem at all, my friend. And let me remind you that reading “The System” is what’s responsible for turning you into a success with the girls!

But what you have to think about in the first place with Indira is that she’s only 20 years old. This is a real issue. In the second place, she lives 500 miles away. What you should know by now is that there’s a chapter in “The System” on long distance relationships – they are a NO-NO because they never work. Finally, you NEVER, EVER tell a girl that she’s fat! Instead, every time you go on a date with a girl who is overweight, you should ride a bicycle or jog or something else physical or athletic, and when you go out to eat with her, go to a place that serves nothing but salads. So remember, as I stress on my radio show, there should NEVER be any negatives or put-downs on a date.

Then there’s Melissa, who’s 22. This is another problem, pal. What do I say in my book about girls 18 to 22 years of age? They’re all ding-dongs! And you’ve got another one here. And let me add here that you NEVER tell a Beautiful Woman that she’s Beautiful! To you Psych majors, she’s heard that since she was 12 years old. And now you have another girlfriend at a distance, this time a hundred miles -- or not exactly around the corner. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “Can’t you find someone who lives within 20 or 25 miles of you?”

Bus, it’s all great to have girlfriends at a distance in the beginning, but what happens over time is that it gets harder and harder to see them because of that distance. Eventually neither of you wants to move to another town or city and you’re out. So all you’ve done in the end is waste a lot of time and money!

Let me explain something to you, Bus. Melissa is right that you can’t tell a girl to shape up. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “What you see is what you get.” That said, it’s obvious that Indira is more of a Giver than Melissa. But that’s beside the point. The real point is this: both of these girls are young, too young, and they both live entirely too far away.

Now why in the world would you tell each of these girls that you’re involved with someone else? If you have my book, you know that one of my strictest rules is that you NEVER talk to one girl about your other girls! EVER! You shot your mouth off too much. Like most guys, you can’t keep your mouth shut. You have a lot of studying to do, Bus. You have to eat, sleep and dream “The System” before you get good at it!

Both of these girls, if they had any brains, should have dropped you when you told them you were involved with someone else. And you can’t say either one of them is Loyal because you haven’t been with them long enough. When you’re with a girl for six months to a year, then and only then can you tell if she’s really Loyal.

You shouldn’t choose either one of these girls, Bus. Both are bad choices.

Remember, guys: when she lives far away, the distance will eventually kill the relationship.

ARTICLE 2 - WHAT DOES HE DO ABOUT THE GIRL AT WORK?

Hey Doc,

I just got your book and find it very helpful. I wasn’t aware that Challenge was as important as it is.

I’m infatuated with Gretchen, who works in my office. She’s 29 and I’m 49. I tried flirting with her to gauge her interest in me. I’m not good at judging Interest Level, so I couldn’t tell what hers was. I found out by talking to other people that she was seeing some guy who sits about 15 feet away from me at the office. I didn’t want to interfere in their relationship so I backed off completely. I ignored Gretchen, and when she realized this it seemed to bother her. She would make sure she passed me in the hall, but neither of us would speak, so we just smiled at each other.

Soon afterwards the guy she was seeing broke it off with her and she would go to the bathroom and cry (this happened for a couple of days). About a week later he took her back. I don’t know for sure how involved they are now and I picked up some office conversation that she broke a date with him. I think that she thinks I am seeing someone. I’ve not shown ANY interest in her at all since I backed off. I don’t talk to her, I don’t call her, and I don’t e-mail or text her either. And I don’t show any reaction to her conversations with her friends around the office.

I am not going to pursue Gretchen because I know it’s the wrong thing to do. Doc, is she playing mind games with me? I am having a tough time getting over my infatuation, so should I wait to see if things don’t work out with the current guy, and then hope she turns her attention to me? Is she playing the other guy for a chump? I get the impression that if she were to say “Jump,” the guy would say “How high?” Since she sits so close to me, I have to see her every day.

Louie - whose Interest Level in this girl is way too high

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MY TAKE ON HIS WORK "ROMANCE"

Hi Louie,

First of all, let me point out to you that one of the biggest complaints women have about men is that they RUSH and CHARGE into rejection and they’re much too pushy in the early stages of dating. What CHALLENGE teaches you to do is put it into reverse and GO IN SLOWLY. When she notices that you’re taking your time -- as opposed to all the other guys who are rushing in -- this piques her interest. Ninety percent of the men out there don’t realize this.

Okay, so Gretchen is 29 and you’re 49. This is another problem, my friend. She’s looking to date guys between 29 and 36. You’re 20 years older than she is. This can work, but it will be difficult because of the age difference.

Since you have my book, you will be able to gauge a woman’s Interest Level – as soon as you memorize it. But why did you change your behavior with Gretchen? If you used to smile and be friendly with her and now you’ve done a one-eighty, you’re going to come off as a weirdo, man. So you should still be friendly with Gretchen. You’re not asking her out. You’re not begging for her phone number. You’re not telling her she’s Beautiful. You’re her co-worker, dude. You should be cordial with her. You have to start smiling at her again. Say “Good morning, Gretchen,” and be normal and friendly. There’s no reason to come on to her.

Now, where are you getting all of this information about Gretchen and her on and off boyfriend? You’re not a mind reader and you don’t have a crystal ball at your desk. So how are you getting all of it without showing your fellow workers that you’re interested in her? Louie, you NEVER indicate to other people in the office indirectly that you’re interested in someone. So you’re screwing up here, pal. You better hurry up and start studying my book, because you’re really not following my techniques, and that will lead you squarely into trouble.

You have the feeling Gretchen thinks that you’re seeing someone? Why? You’re projecting here, Louie. You don’t know what this woman is thinking. Again, you’d better hurry up and read my materials! And let me straighten you out on something else. Being friendly and smiling is not showing interest. You’re just being cordial with a fellow worker. So you’re off in some fantasy land here, guy. When you don’t acknowledge her, she has to be thinking what is it with this guy? All of a sudden he doesn’t smile and say hi anymore. What is he, a nut?

Louie, your job is to make all the girls at the office laugh so that Gretchen sees it. You have to make all the other girls touch your arm at the water cooler so she sees that, too.

Of course it’s wrong to pursue Gretchen. Again, you’re talking to too many people about what’s going on in this woman’s life. And no, she’s not playing mind games with you. Once again, you’re going way off base here, into la-la land. Actually, you’re the one playing the games, dude. All of sudden you’re no longer friendly to her – that’s a mind game. She’s the one who should be accusing you of playing with her head. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “You’re reacting to your own Interest Level in Gretchen when she has no Interest Level in you.”

Louie, my book will help you to beat your infatuation. And yes, before you try anything, you should wait until Gretchen gets over her thing with this other guy in your office. But in the meantime, you have to smile and ask Gretchen how her day is going. Be friendly and don’t talk to anyone else in the office about her love life.

Don’t worry about Gretchen’s relationship with this other guy. Again, you’re wandering off the beaten path. You have illusions and fantasies about this woman, and the conclusions you’re reaching have no basis whatsoever in reality.

Because you sit so close to Gretchen, that’s exactly why you’re going to be cordial and smile like a regular guy, just as if she were a happily married woman who happens to work with you.

Remember, guys: if you want a girl in your office to like you, first get the other girls there to like you a lot.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

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