WHAT'S THE 411 ON THIS ARTICLE?
YES - ask for the phone number - ALWAYS. You can learn so much about what she really feels by asking: "What's your phone number?"
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I got your book a couple weeks ago and just finished it for the first time. The reason I got it was because I think I messed up BIG with Jemele and am determined to change.
I met her before I left for college and became friends with her entire church group. I had a thing for her before I left for college, and made it somewhat obvious but not enough to make it awkward. Again, this was before I got “The System.” Anyway, I haven’t seen Jemele for nine months, and now it’s summer break and I’m back at home and working with the church music group.
I have been implementing Challenge and so far Jemele has been giving me positive feedback. Above all, I have been acting indifferent towards her, but still making her laugh. As everyone was leaving a church rehearsal, she came by with her little sister and they started talking to me. During the conversation she did a few things that made me think she might have something for me.
First, she said that there was a Christian concert later this summer that we should go to. Second, I caught her looking at me out of the corner of my eye. One time I looked back at her and she started a conversation with me. When I started talking with her sister, she tried to get my attention. Whenever the conversation stopped, she picked it right back up.
That being said, could you please coach me on a couple of things? I have no clue what Jemele’s Interest Level is because I have been dead wrong before about women. Being a traditional girl, she is probably looking for the man to ask her out, but I don’t want to lose Challenge points by doing so. How should I go about doing this? Furthermore, she is 17 and I am 20, which puts me in somewhat of an awkward position as she is under 18. Finally, I don’t know how to initiate touching because there is a rule in the church that states no hugging of people of the opposite sex unless you are pretty much married to them.
Needless to say, I will keep re-reading “The System,” but I would love it if you could help me tie up some loose ends.
Clancy - who doesn’t want to make a mistake
Dating Women Podcast Episode 13
*Be a "charmer" for greater success with women
*Characteristics of a "giver"
*The importance of trust and loyalty
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
First of all, thanks very much for trusting me. After I get through training you – and assuming you do everything I tell you to do, you don’t cherry-pick my techniques, and you retain a mind that’s open to change – I will guarantee that you will never again make a mistake with girls like you did with Jemele.
When you said that you have been acting indifferent to Jemele but you’re still making her laugh, that was a very heavy thought, my friend. It’s important that you don’t show your feelings to a girl, but that you always act like a gentleman and make her laugh. So what you’re doing is perfect. You’re getting it, dude. But this is just one piece and remember that “The System” has led you here.
Now, when Jemele told you that there was a Christian concert that you had to go to later in the summer, you should have TIED IT DOWN right then and there as your FIRST DATE. You should have set the date and until the day of the concert came around you should do nothing else but stay buddy-buddy at church, especially since this girl is only 17.
When Jemele kept talking to you and giving you the eye, YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR HER PHONE NUMBER, as I mention so many times in my book. To you Psych majors, when you ask for her phone number, HER RESPONSE IS THE FIRST INDICATION OF HER TRUE INTEREST LEVEL. This is the first test the girl has to pass – she has to give you her number. On the other hand, in this case you had an even earlier opportunity to find out her Interest Level when she mentioned that concert. All you had to ask her was, “Do you really want to go?” and you would have known where you stood. And remember, Clancy, with a 17-year-old, you also need to be talking to her parents about whether or not she can go!
Because you’ve been dead wrong before about women, “The System” is going to teach you how to eliminate those questions and doubts because you will know exactly how to gauge a female’s Interest Level. Again, that’s why you ask for the phone number right away – because her response will tell you all you need to know. If she gives it to you, her interest is 51% to 100%. If she doesn’t, it’s 49% or less and you’re out and you never had a chance.
Don’t worry about losing Challenge points with Jemele. You have to ask for her phone number! If you don’t, how will you get her out? Common sense, Clancy! You don’t apply Challenge to asking for the first date. You have to ASK THE GIRL OUT. Listen, if you don’t ask her out, you’ll never take her out! You use Challenge when you take her out by not gushing about your feelings on the first date.
You have to find out when Jemele turns 18. That’s why it’s good that the concert is not in a few days but later in the summer. It’s better if she’s 18 when you actually go out with this girl.
In my book there’s a chapter called TOUCHING. What it says is that YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH. If the girl touches you, you don’t even touch her back. So “The System” goes right along with the church.
You need to read “The System” once a week for 15 weeks, Clancy, then seven pages a night. And be sure to join the Doc Love Club and listen to the archives of my DATING WOMEN RADIO SHOW. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “That stuff is gold dust.” And that way you’ll have all of your bases covered.
Remember, guys: the first time you test Interest Level is when you ask for her phone number.
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