DON'T ACCEPT SCRAPS
THE SYSTEM says that when you are getting a woman that is running HOT and then COLD you have a major problem on your hands...
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Dating Women Podcast #194:
Be upstanding if you want a great girl
HAVE YOU PLUGGED INTO YOUR FREEBIES YET?
I am a dedicated follower of your principles and truly feel you’ve got it all figured out. There is a situation I would like your advice on. Here are the details.
I began dating Leigh two and a half years ago. In the beginning I was unaware of how powerful Challenge really was. I was a Challenge without even knowing it. When we first started going out I even said to her, “I don’t have to call you every day, do I?”
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For the first six months Leigh was a wildcat. She was a blast to hang out with and appeared to have a tremendously high level of interest in me. However, she is from a family very impressed with money and they’re always telling her to “marry up.” I come from a modest background but was able to provide her with lots of the things she wanted.
After a year I found out that her ex-boyfriend of 10 years (who by the way is filthy rich) started calling her. She said she wanted to be friends with him again, but being a guy, I knew better. I was concerned and jealous.
We ended up breaking up a few months later because Leigh said she felt like something was missing. She even said that I wasn’t being a Challenge, there was no chemistry, and that I didn’t stand up to her enough. The funny thing, though, is that she didn’t start dating her ex-boyfriend. That’s when I fell into your hands and started reading your articles.
I went back to being a Challenge, not calling and saying I love you all the time, and after a few months we got back together. Then I got a job and had to move to another state for nine months. We decided we could do the long-distance thing. During my eighth month away, Leigh bought me a birthday gift and gave it to me a week early when I was home visiting, but she forgot to call me on my birthday.
I got very upset with her and she apologized. We made up, and she invited me to spend the Fourth of July with her and her parents at the beach. The first night things were great. The next day, though, she was distant. She went to visit her girlfriend and didn’t return any of my phone calls for a week. When she got back she finally called and again said that she didn’t feel any chemistry.
Some time later I ran into her when she was with another guy. I made out like I was doing okay, but deep down I still had feelings for her. I waited a week, called her, and left a message that I thought she was looking good. She called back, and when I didn’t return any of her messages she begged me to call. A week went by and I asked her out. It was apparent she was still single. She called me the day after our date and told me how much fun she had and that she’d like to see me again.
I waited another week to call and asked her out again. This time things were different. She was distant again, but I continued to try to be light and funny. I haven’t spoken to her since.
How can a girl who says she doesn’t feel chemistry for you one day turn around and be intimate with you the next, then go cold again? It’s so confusing; Doc. Is there anything I can do to turn Leigh around at this point?
I would love to know what you think I should do now. I love Leigh, but I don’t understand her.
Loren - who can hardly take it anymore
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER
First off, you’re not a dedicated follower of my principles. Know how I can tell? Because you’re asking me a mile-long question here. If you were really a Doc Love disciple, you’d have my principles memorized and be able to figure it all out. You’d already know the solution to your problems.
But that’s not the issue here. I’m here to help you and every other guy out there.
You were unaware of how powerful Challenge is? I’ve been telling you from day one that it’s NITRO! But you guys still don’t believe me. Think about it. You had Leigh eating out of your hand for six whole months with a throwaway line like “I don’t have to call you everyday, do I?” Heck, that’s something straight out of the mouth of Fast Eddie Love! Talk about a master of Challenge!
So, Leigh was a blast for six months. That means in the seventh month she wasn’t such a party anymore – because her Interest Level was taking a nosedive. Because, Loren, you were doing something different. You changed something. You started morphing into some form of Wimpus Americanus. What it boiled down to is that you stopped being a CHALLENGE. And Interest Level will decline from there on out.
Don’t fool yourself, man. Money was never...
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