THE MIXED SIGNALS HE'S GETTING FROM HER? WELL, THEY'RE TO BE EXPECTED GIVEN HIS BIG MISTAKE
THE SYSTEM says you get one shot, per girl, per lifetime and since he ignored that BASIC RULE he's now left wondering about her and her (predictable) mixed signals!
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I’ve been having trouble with Meghan and her mixed signals for a long time now.
Here’s the story. We used to date and it was a rough breakup. More than a year later she called, acting all chipper, as if everything was fine. We started hanging out again and gradually my feelings for her came back.
The problem is that I get so many mixed signals from her that I don’t know if I should make a move to make her my girlfriend again. She wears low-cut tops and practically throws herself on me whenever we meet, but always gives me an “I don’t know, I’ll check my schedule and call you back” whenever I ask her out, and she never actually does call. Other times she’ll call and say she misses me, but gives me the same routine when I ask her out. This whole situation has me twisted into a knot.
Recently I said to myself enough is enough and I let her initiate all communication with me. She instant messaged me the other day saying “long time no talk,” but I was still ticked off at her for blowing me off so many times so I bailed on the conversation.
I miss Meghan, but am standing my ground and not calling her. Am I doing the right thing? What is wrong with this girl?
Yao - who feels like she controls my life
DOC LOVE'S ANSWER IN A SECOND BUT FIRST...
Let me tell you something straight out of the gate: whenever a girl gives you mixed signals, it’s a sign that her Interest Level is LOW. That’s the hard and fast rule.
Now, you say that you and Meghan had a rough breakup. The fact that you broke up in the first place means that you shattered an ironclad rule: YOU CAN’T GO BACK. Remember what “The System” says: One shot per girl per lifetime. If it doesn’t work, then it’s over, and you can never go back. Simple as that.
Your feelings for Meghan came back because she dropped you. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “If you had dropped her, your feelings for her wouldn’t have come back.”
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Just by the fact that you have to ask whether you should make a move to make Meghan your girlfriend again, you should know that the answer is a resounding NO. So you’ve already answered your own question, my friend, and you don’t even realize it.
When Meghan tells you that she doesn’t know whether she can go out with you when you ask, it’s because her Interest Level is not in the 90s. Dude, you have to ask yourself this question instead: why did Meghan come back to you? And the answer is this: she came back because she’s not drawing any hits from other guys. And the fact that she never calls you when she says she will indicates that she’s a LIAR. She gave you her word and didn’t keep it – so she’s a LIAR.
When Meghan keeps giving you the same routine when you ask her out, you keep going back. What more evidence do you need that she’s not interested in you? You’re twisted into a knot because your Interest Level is a lot higher than Meghan’s.
At this point this situation is not simply a matter of not calling Meghan. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “This woman is not good for you.” When a woman gives you a ton of mixed signals, it means she does NOT have high Interest Level. In other words, it’s not in the 90s. She’s not wildly in love with you. To you Psych majors, you want a woman whose Interest Level is in the 90s.
Think you have what it takes to succeed by just reading these articles? You don't - these articles give you an insight into how I think but you need my book so if you really want to be successful with women you need THE SYSTEM. Still not convinced? Read my "YOU CHANGED MY LIFE" letters.
Yao, you had your chance with Meghan and it’s over. The way you wean yourself off the addiction to Meghan is by replacing her with another girl. And if you can’t do that, you have to struggle with not reaching out and touching the phone. In the meantime, you have to get and memorize “The System,” because if you don’t you’re just going to make the same mistakes with the next girl.
No, you’re not doing the right thing, my friend. You have to get rid of this woman. What’s wrong with Meghan is that she just likes you a little bit. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “You don’t want to be in love with a girl who digs you just a little bit.”
Remember, guys: you can never go back.